to think this is really not on (maternity leave)

[manicinsomniac]

Having a baby, having your full time off, coming back for a month then announcing you're 4 months pregnant and will be off again. If you knew you were pregnant (or even trying) should you really go back to work, knowing that your employer was going to have to pay two salaries for one job?

I really don't know if this is standard practice and completely ok or whether it's unfair and cheating the system. It seems unfair and a bit immoral to me.

[MamaBear17]

I think that some companies (certainly schools) buy insurance so that they can cover the maternity pay of the person on leave and the salary of the person they employ. The head teacher of our school said that it was only cost effective if he had one pregnancy per year and if he had more he could make a little money! It is difficult for employers, but I am firmly on the fence on this one. I couldnt do it because I'd feel guilty, but at the same time you cant tell people when they can have a baby or not.

[CruCru]

I must admit that I think it is fair enough. If a company needed to make you redundant they wouldn't think twice about it.

[Samnella]

YABU as you can hardly say to women they cant return to work in this situation. What happens if you were pregnant without knowing or got pregnant 2 weeks after returning? I think it may depend on the package the woman got though. If it was full pay for 6 months, return to work for 3 months and then another full pay for 6 months then I can see why others would think that unfair. I don't agree with enhanced maternity packages though. I think they are sexist. Why should a woman get 6 months full pay but not another member of staff needing time off for whatever reasons.

[ChairmanWow]

Why is it any different whether you return to work pregnant or take a second lot of mat leave a year or two later? The company still has the same liabilities if it pays enhancements either way. It's up to women and their families to decide when to have their kids not peoples employers.

[nannyof3]

My aunt did this .... Mmmm.. Where do u work

[nannyof3]

My aunt did this .... Mmmm.. Where do u work

[bigkidsdidit]

It doesn't sit right with me either, although I would try to suppress those feelings. We had someone do it and it was a bloody nightmare - training mat cover, who left after a year, then the member of staff announced she'd be off again in a few months, recruiting and training another cover; it was a real pain.

[catlady1]

But it's not really working the system though. At least not unless you're getting enhanced pay and not planning to go back. If you are going back to work then it makes no difference whether you leave ten years or two weeks between pregnancies. It might be a pain for the employer but that's got nothing to do with the woman playing the system or claiming more than anyone else would be entitled to.

[herethereandeverywhere]

I ask again - what would happen if every working woman who had children chose to do it this way? Would it just become normal? Or would it encourage employers to discriminate? Or change maternity policy?

[BikeRunSki]

As the manager of someone who came back to work pg with DC2 it is actually easier in some ways as I just extended her maternity cover, didn't gave to recruit again. And the piers doing it got 2 years development experience instead of just 1. A few years down the line, she and I have both had 2 DC and two years' mat leave, but I have "cost" one more recruitment.

[FantasticMax]

For me the difference between going back to work pregnant and waiting a few years is about 'earning' the second maternity leave IFYSWM. I'd feel guilty if I took two mat leaves in fairly quick succession, although I know logically the company has the same outlay each time. But then there was a woman up thread who'd worked for the same company for yonks so in her case I'd think fair enough. It's a tricky area!

[Dirtymistress]

I went back to work pregnant after dc1. Worked for seven months. Have just finished and will have ten months off before returning. I have worked for the company for 11 years. Never had a day off sick, moved around to suit the company, worked every Christmas, taken on challenging roles that others wouldn't and generally given my all for a job I feel passionate about. Hopefully I will work for them for 30 years to come. So yes, you are being unreasonable. And do fuck off.

[NaturalBlondeYeahRight]

YABU, these are the babies that will pay for our pensions, gap makes no odds.

[MadCap]

I agree with crucru Employers don't generally give a toss about their employees so why should anyone feel guilty taking leave that they're entitled to. I left my job after my mat leave and I didn't feel a shred of guilt.

[LivingThings]

I did it - went back to work when #1 was 11 months however didn't physically return to work just took my accumulated leave to connect two lots of maternity leave and got full pay for another maternity leave. I am now back at work. I have worked for the same emloyer for 28 years so I don't think I was taking anything I hadn't worked for.

[ChairmanWow]

I'd feel guilty if I took two mat leaves in fairly quick succession, although I know logically the company has the same outlay each time

Well then don't do it, but don't claim it's immoral for others to when it's clearly not so.

[breatheslowly]

What about people who carefully plan their children to ensure they have been at their employer long enough to qualify for their employer's enhanced package? This must be pretty common. Do you think that is wrong too?

[maddening]

actually thinking about it if an employer has trained a temp for maternity cover then it would be better to have a short gap so the temp can cover again with no extra retraining so it's one long upheaval instead of two.

[Growlithe]

I've been on MN properly for about 3 years now. At first the parent and child parking space debate puzzled me. I mean, what's not to like about a perk for parents on a parenting site? But then I started to see the other side of the argument and thought, well does someone with small children really need an extra wide space close to the supermarket? So MN changed my mind.

But on entitlement to mat leave? On the ability to choose the gap between your children with no comeback from your employer? On the absolute injustice of the suggestion that bitterness from colleagues and a feeling of guilt on the part of the woman is the norm in these situations? Go on, put women back 50 years and convince me on that one.

[RougePygmy]

Say you want 2 children, what difference does it make if you have those 2 children close together or years apart, you have the same total amount of time off!

I returned from mat leave after my first child 4 months pregnant, worked full time for 3 and a half months, then had a year mat leave and returned full time again.


They were close together, but, if I had had a bigger gap of say 4 years, would it be commented upon that I had 2 mots of mat leave, maybe by some, but nowhere near as much.

Second child was not planned, we had tried for many years for our first, then I fell pregnant with the second before I had had my first period following the birth of my first, as I was bfing.

[MrsMeeple]

YABtotallyU. Someone should not go back to work after parental leave because they're trying to conceive???? What if it takes them years? What if it never happens? How long should they sit at home, trying???

If you happen to fall pregnant shortly before you are due back, should you forfeit those months' salary, that you would be able to earn before the next child is born? Just give them up and manage on no income? Go on benefits when you have a perfectly good job that you are capable of doing?

You don't 'earn' parental leave. It should be every parent's right. The fact that some employers offer a better deal to employees who've been there longer is unfortunate. The fact that women are made to feel like they haven't earned it is wrong.

It is hard on small employers, but if you can't afford to pay leave for an employee (sick leave, parental leave, whatever) then you should seriously look at whether you can afford to have employees.

And co-workers can of course feel the disadvantages to being in a team with changing personel, but that applies if someone goes on parental leave, gets sick, leaves for a better job, is promoted out of the team.... ... ... Don't dump on a parent taking parental leave as somehow being more culpable than anyone moving around in their working career.

It should be perfectly normal to take parental leave to look after small children. Part of a healthy work : life balance. Noone should be expected to plan their family around the needs of their employer. But that is unfortunately the picture of a perfect world, not reality.

[SomethingOnce]

Bigger picture:

Babies + 16 years = workforce

Keep up the good work, women!

[TooExtraImmatureCheddar]

In some cases, women play the system because the employer behaved like shit in the first place. I know someone who was an agency temp for 5 years. Five. In the same job, doing well, covering a vacant post, but the organisation never formalised her post because they couldn't be arsed. When they finally offered her the post she got pg within 3 months. She was about 34. She immediately got pg again, and, as it happened, quit because her husband moved for his job. So 2 kids within 2 years, not from choice but because she was scared she'd leave it too long and be unable to conceive.

[AyeOopMoose]

If you want children close together, do it.

Does anyone really think that an employer would thank you for not doing so?

A job is just a job. Don't get me wrong I'm a very hard worker but family life is more important to me.

I went back to work after DC1 20 weeks pregnant OP do you know me??

I took GREAT delight in telling my employer as they had been complete arses and refused my flexible work request. This encouraged our decision to have DC2 sooner rather than later

I would have no problem in doing it again if DH would agree to DC3. Systems in place to be used. To me it's like saying you have 25 days holiday a year but not taking them because you don't want to let the company down.

[youmaycallmeSSP]

I wonder if there is a man out there motivated, organised, lucky, crazy and morally deficient enough to have 26 babies at 2-week intervals and therefore nab a year's worth of paternity leave?

Just an idle thought :o