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AIBU?

To wonder what makes some people truly nasty on public transport?

100 replies

redplasticspoon · 22/02/2013 19:28

I was taking dd, age 2, in a pushchair home from nursery today in the bus. Got on the bus, and this particular bus had a rather small pushchair/wheelchair area, with a woman standing so that I couldn't get the pushchair in. I said 'Excuse me please' and she didn't move, then said it a second time louder in case she didn't hear me - she looked at me and still didn't move. At this point a man who was sitting down with bags on the seats next to the pushchair area got up to make space to just about push dd in the space. (I apologised to him for having to move, and just to be clear - there were lots of seats available on the bus which the woman could have sat on).

A couple of stops later a second pushchair gets on, and the woman moves, but hits my dd in the head with her bag. It looked rather purposeful to me. DD said 'Ow' but didn't cry. I turned round to her 'You hit the baby in the head', she ignored me, no apology, I then said it a second time and then called dh for support as it made me quite upset that someone would treat dd in this way. I don't know what else I could have done, and wonder how someone could behave this way towards my dd. Please tell me I'm not BU, or what could I have done better?

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smellysocksandchickenpox · 22/02/2013 21:17

was the second buggy comparable though, or was there a baby/sleeping child not an awake older child in it, and was it a pram/travel system or another umbrella folder?

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redplasticspoon · 22/02/2013 21:33

The second child was I'm guessing about 18 months old and awake. I can't remember what kind of pushchair it was. Again, I'm not really sure how relevant this is, except for you to say that you think it was ok to move for a child if they weren't in a folding pushchair (don't they all fold?). Personally I think it is just good manners to make way for any child in a pushchair.

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lowercase · 22/02/2013 21:42

If someone is already in that space, you should fold the pushchair.
Pushchair doesn't have priority over standee.
Wheelchair has priority.

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smellysocksandchickenpox · 22/02/2013 21:43

no they don't all fold, travel systems like an MPX comes in two, the chassi flattens but doesn't umbrella fold then you're left with a big old pushchair seat sans wheels that doesn't fold (I have one for walks)

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Mimishimi · 22/02/2013 21:46

Lowercase:really? I can't speak for the UK because we are in Australia but here the buses have an image of a wheelchair and a buggy for that space. If there were clearly other seats, I don't think it's at all unreasonable for the OP to request the woman to move to one of them.

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smellysocksandchickenpox · 22/02/2013 22:00

none of my local busses have official wheelchair and pushchair spaces, they have wheelchair spaces that pushchairs use, however the fold up seats in that space are priority seats, so going by the notices by rights the pushchairs should vacate for not only pushchairs but also anyone elderly or pregnant or disabled. There isn't a pushchair symbol on either the space, or behind the fold up seats that go along the side of the space which have the pregnant/old/disabled symbol on them

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Floggingmolly · 22/02/2013 22:18

If there are free seats (and tbh, even if there aren't) standing in the wheelchair / buggy space is not on - and I've seen plenty of bus drivers make that point quite strongly.
It takes one hell of a brass neck to ignore an empty seat an stand like a gobshite where someone is trying to park their pushchair. Why would you do that?

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redplasticspoon · 22/02/2013 22:22

Smelly - I don't know where you are, but in London it is a wheelchair and pushchair space if not needed by wheelchairs. It is clearly sign posted as such.

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lowercase · 22/02/2013 22:29

As has been mentioned, standee may have impairment that isn't immediately obvious or just find it more comfortable to stand.

Standing in that space is not on?
What if you have luggage or shopping that can't be stowed?
You can't be so entitled wrt a public service.

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redplasticspoon · 22/02/2013 22:46

Because lowercase, it is easier to sit down or move slightly, then for a parent to fold a pushchair and juggle a child on a moving bus. It's all about common decency.

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lowercase · 22/02/2013 22:58

For somebody without impairment.
I used a sling on buses.
For longer outings I would have the pushchair folded and babe in arms ready to sit.
It's all about common decency.

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smellysocksandchickenpox · 22/02/2013 22:59

the luggage shelf is near the space, they might not want to go too far from their belongings

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andubelievedthat · 22/02/2013 23:00

Ah ! theSisterhood ,still as strong i see ! the person standing was obviously blind and deaf ! simples ,only by being so can she be excused from such a course of non-action(well ,maybe a total shite ,that she so obviously is/was )The big clue here is the sign which was along the lines of "space for prams/wheelchairs/disabled..."NOT" and others that can move but cannot be bothered."

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Southeastdweller · 22/02/2013 23:03

I don't think you could have done anything else.

I also think the woman didn't hit your daughter deliberately and she was either deaf or from a different culture.

You've every right for you and your DD and the pram to be in that space it but then so as everyone else (who should move when parents with prams come on the bus). I sometimes stand in that space and I've got every damn right to flogging Angry

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redplasticspoon · 22/02/2013 23:06

smelly you clearly have never been to London.. the luggage rack is not near the pushchair area. There were seats near that.

Lowercase bully for you. Not everyone may want/be able to do that.

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lowercase · 22/02/2013 23:11

Right.
And not everyone can easily sit.

But I can easily fold my pushchair / use a sling / consider others, so that's what I did.

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smellysocksandchickenpox · 22/02/2013 23:11

I lived in london for years and live near enough to visit regularly Hmm, some are at the front depends on the bus - there isn't just one type of bus in greater london! anyway it was just brain storming in agreement with lowercase.

why is it that if anyone disagrees on this threat then someone tries to completely discredit/disregard their opinion by trying to tell the rest of the thread some rubbish like "you've obviously never been on a bus/seen a pushchair" etc

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messybedhead · 22/02/2013 23:20

Don't know which part of London you visit smelly but you are not describing any London bus I know.

The pushchair area is in the middle. If you want to fold a pushchair, the only place to put it usually is in that middle wheelchair/ pushchair space because the old people put their shopping at the bit at the front.

It is often much easier to 'park' pushchair than fold it and take up the same amount of space anyway.

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redplasticspoon · 22/02/2013 23:22

Smellysocks that just doesn't ring true. I take usually 4+ buses a day and have never seen one with the layout you are talking about. You are the one making assumptions without being able to back them up. Anyway, what you are talking about it besides the point. This woman hit my child, and the location of the luggage rack has nothing to do with that!

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smellysocksandchickenpox · 22/02/2013 23:25

the single story round the houses one I used to get to work in greater london had door, driver, luggage shelf, space, then bus pass biddies who went red faced if anyone got on the bus before them and sat in THEIR seats Grin
There IS more than one kind of bus in london!

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smellysocksandchickenpox · 22/02/2013 23:26

"back them up"??, I'm sorry what are you asking for?, this isn't the kinda threat that you can reference peer reviewed research on Confused

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redplasticspoon · 22/02/2013 23:27

Smelly maybe that was a while ago? The bus stock has been updated and they all have a very similar design. Besides which it doesn't matter!

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redplasticspoon · 22/02/2013 23:30

Smelly just leave it, if I could be arsed I would put a link up to a bus layout design, but I can't.

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lowercase · 22/02/2013 23:30

There are buses with the lift up seats / luggage area at front.

My maclaren took up about 1/4 of the space when folded.

It's not about what's easier, it's about consideration for your fellows.

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blindworm · 22/02/2013 23:35

I've never seen a London bus with a luggage shelf near the wheelchair/pushchair space. The luggage space is at the front near the priority seats.

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