DH didn't get me a card yesterday using above as reason again. He has never bought me a card or given me anything on Valentines Day over the 20 years of our marriage on principle (he's into his principles!). The principle being love should be shown every day and that you don't need one particular day or present to show how much you love someone (the same reason was given to not buy me an engagement ring 20 years ago - I did get a wedding ring).
As usual I bought him a card and present yesterday. Does he have a point? Would you be happy with the above "principle" - or would you think: "What a tight-wad, he obviously couldn't be bothered"?
And no he doesn't buy me flowers or presents at other times of the year. I do get a birthday card and sometimes a nice meal out on my birthday and occasionally a Christmas present.
AIBU?
to think "Valentine's Day is too commercial" is a poor excuse
printmeanicephoto · 15/02/2013 10:55
OP, my DH feels the same way as yours does about Valentine's Day, but at least he always puts some thought into what to buy me for Christmas and birthdays. Rarely get flowers, even though he knows I like them.
I'm kind of on the fence about Valentine's Day; I can see what people mean about it being commercial crap, and if your DP is generally loving, romantic (whatever 'romantic' means to you, not necessarily the hearts and flowers type) and thoughtful, then yes, they have a point. But if they're like your DH, then no, the 'commercial crap' excuse doesn't hold water.
However, you knew what you were getting yourself into when he refused to buy you an engagement ring because it was against his principles 
.
dh and i dont do v.day cards... and we've only done proper gifts 1 year and that was the first year we were together. i find cards very pointless and i dont like v.day anyway.
however, this year i made dh some cup cakes, and made him dinner (he's normally the cook) and he got me a packet of love hearts. we were both happy 
to not get anything for your birthday... or even christmas is a bit cheap and selfish cheeky of him. birthday especially. why doesnt he get you anything?
I agree with him on it being commercial. Me and my husband don't do it. I've always hated it. I just don't see what's romantic about looking at the calendar, seeing that it's the 14th of February and joining a massive queue of people buying roses, chocolates, cuddly bears or whatever who also looked at the calendar, saw it was the 14th of February and knew that they had to be romantic.
Nothing less romantic than having to be romantic. Because it's that time of year again. And then you get into the competitions and it all becomes about show. What did YOU get? Did you get more than me? Look how much I got. This shows how Loved I am.
No, not really. flowers on the 8th of august - just because he thinks you're gorgeous. THAT'S romantic. Whisking you away for the weekend in April because he wants you all to himself. THAT'S romantic. Getting in from work and finding a postit note on your living room door saying how much you're loved. THAT'S romantic.
Scheduling romance - not so much. And of course, you can do both, and many do. But it's amazing how often you find that it's ONLY that day of the year that someone gets this apparent display of lurrve and you know that it's only because everyone else is.
That said - that's not what he's doing, is it? He's NEVER romantic. Never just comes home with flowers for no reason at all. There's no wonder you feel sad about it. He's not opting out of Hallmark Day - he's opting out of romance!
What do you do during the year that is romantic? If it's all one way then there's going to come a point when you just stop caring and that's the kiss of death for a relationship.
It sounds more like he can't be arsed, than any real objection to the day. Otherwise he'd show you on other days of the year - as he claims should be the case, wouldn't he?
However, it's your choice to continue to buy for him. If you're doing it hoping to guilt him into reciprocating then that's unfair. He's never lied to you about how he feels. You don't have to buy anything for him, you choose to. Make a different choice!
"He doesn't do presents, flowers or whatever the rest of the year."
You know you're entitled to say up front that you would like the occasional card, present or flowers. Be assertive about what you want, rather than thinking you should be pathetically grateful because he cooks at weekends.... 
We have never done anything for Valentine's Day and I think it is a load of old nonsense so it would annoy me intensely if DH wanted to.
DH isn't great at getting presents at any time of year so I never hold my breath for a birthday or christmas gift (and I haven't had a card for any reason for about 10 years)
But he is incredibly thoughtful and generous in many, many other ways. He will often do thoughtful things to make life easier for me. When we are out shopping together he often suggests I get something for myself. He just isn't in to gift giving and is genuinely baffled as to why people send each other cards for any reason
My DH rather likes Valentines day, he says it is the only special occasion in the year that is adult centred and not about children and chocolate. We don't buy presents but always cards, flowers and enjoy a really nice meal either out or in our home "Restaurant of Lurve" which pops up each year. Just a bit of self indulgent fun and a rare opportunity for mid week sex 
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