Been reading some threads on here recently that have got we thinking about the definitions of 'child abuse' and how it has changed a lot over time.
Some things that were quite commonplace 20 years ago would now leave people gasping in horror but at the time it was just seen as discipline and, by extension, good parenting.
The example that springs to mind is the whole 'washing child's mouth out with soap if they swear' - quite normal when I was a child but now would land you an appointment with social services.
Why the shift for one generation to the next? Why have attitudes changed so dramatically to how we discipline our kids when, generally speaking it seems that people are growing up more badly behaved now we don't use these 'abusive' practices anymore? Abviously I am generalising but AIBU to wonder why things have changed so much?
AIBU?
To think that perceptions of child abuse have changed a lot over the years?
extremepie · 11/02/2013 20:34
"I agree, but then we didnt have disruptives in school, drugs were not common place, children were still respectful of their elders and had common manners and courtesy, men doffed caps and stood for ladies - all of which today are just so bloody awfully mysoginist and we clearly didnt let children express them selves at the expense of others learning."
Where was this, Narnia? 
My mother was a teacher in another country in the 60s and 70s. She used to come home and regale us with stories of disruptive British children and disruptive British schools garnered from the staff room copy of the Daily Mail.
That was when smacking was common in the UK and corporal punishment still allowed, but both were a distant memory in Sweden.
I remember our horrified delight at those tales of hooliganism in a distant land.
I did some thinking about this last night, after posting. Why do DH and I, and other people for that matter, seem ok about the way our parents were when some others clearly find the same treatment very upsetting.
The only conclusion I can come to is the context. I always felt very loved, my parents told me they loved us. I may have occasionally thought they were being a bit mean when they shouted at or smacked me but I never questioned they loved me.
I know on mn people are 
at parents threatening things about sending the child away, my parents did this, it never upset me as I knew they never would, I just realised they were really cross with me and I needed to pack it in.
All those sayings; box your ears, knock you into the middle of next week, you won't sit down for a week, wring your neck, skin you alive, knock your block off etc were common place in my childhood but never upset me, DH is the same. Sometimes yes I got smacked or whacked or flicked or pinched, again never really upset me. I was told to shut-up or piss off or whatever but also didn't find it upsetting.
In the context of an otherwise loving home, and clearly said without genuine malice I think they can just be like water off a duck's back. Similarly the way my siblings and I treated each other, was abysmal but it was never treated as anything more than a bit of a rivalry.
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I think you're jumping to the conclusion that it was in a really aggressive manner, which is probably my fault for not explaining. It never hurt when I was pinched, a bit like if you've ever had your bum lightly pinched 
was just something done to get my attention. There were quite a few of us kids and we would invariably ignore my poor mum and dad, particularly out and about where it wasn't appropriate to shout our names to make us listen, a very light pinch or flick happened. We often jokily pinched our parents back when we wanted their attention.
I don't think my parents were wrong and I'm the same with my children. I had a really happy childhood, and as I've said I really adore my parents. I always felt safe and loved. Those things never did upset me and I can't see why they would. Example, 2 days ago I went upstairs to find our main bathroom, covered in paint, it was everywhere I started ranting about how I could wring DS's neck, other Ds came up and laughed, I told him to sod off before I boot him up the backside. They just laugh at me or roll their eyes. They know I wouldn't do those things, I wouldn't even smack them on that situation so I can't see why it should upset them.
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Apparently you can't have a bag of crisps or choccie biccy in a lunchbox now skullcandy.
Time out isolationist? 
DS is a teenager now. I am always interested to read MN threads about younger DC, and I always think it's amazing how quickly opinions change. Sometimes I think it's a good job things are different, other times I think people are turning into soft lads and lasses these days.
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