to fart in public?

[FlatsInDagenham]

I mean when nobody can hear me, such as noisy soft play or when I find myself in a conveniently empty aisle at the supermarket.

Does everyone do this or is it just me?

[Twogoats]

Can we all call farts 'trumps' from now on?

[Flumplet]

DonaldTrump resurrected it!!!!! I didn't even realise it was an old one.

[ThroughThickAndThin01]

The fart troll. Such fun

[DramaInPyjamas]

Omg, who resurrected a 4 year old thread just to post about farting?

[Flumplet]

Yanbu at all. One of life's little pleasures. So long as they're not too stinky - it's horrid walking in to someone else's lingering flatulence.

[Bluntness100]

God, this makes me remember when my daughter was about six. Sitting in a very crowded outside cafe for lunch she sneezed and the pressure made her fart at the same time. The way it reverberated on the wooden bench was something to behold. Was so loud. We couldn't stop laughing. Her little face was so shocked.

Also when she was about two or so, in the crowded doctors waiting room. People sat in the seats along allfour walls, about 30 people, and kids toys were in the middle. She was playing and farted really loudly and everyone just burst out laughing, she looked round the room and then said completely genuinely ' shall I do it again mummy? ". 😂

[Smellslikecatspee]

Or Smellslikecatspee/duckshit, bit long though?

[SaggyOldPregnantCatpuss]

Nice! Apparently it's a side effect of having a bun in the oven!

[BadLad]

So a name change to Smellslikecatshit might be in order.

[SaggyOldPregnantCatpuss]

Oh GOD! Its almost compulsory right now!

[Smellslikecatspee]

BUM DUCK.?BUM DUCK.?

I love it, I now have, well, OH has a BUM DUCK , I have SBDs

That is just ducking hysterical

[thismumismad]

I am wheezing, I'm laughing so much at this thread, pure joy. Farting tickles me something chronic. At work once a colleague of mine let one rip as she got up from the table, I needed my inhaler after laughing so hard

[roastednut]

Crying laughing at this thread!! I was another one who would dread sleeping over at a new bfs in case it happened during the night (which it always did without fail). That awful heart stopping moment when it wakes you up.

[BadLad]

"It is a foolish man* who puts good manners before good health"

*delete as appropriate - that's just how I remember the quote.

[INeedThatForkOff]

In my early twenties, whenever I started spending the night with a new boyfriend, I would dread farting in my sleep. It worried me to the point where my stomach would get crampy, so inevitably I would parp, wake myself up, then lie there motionless and mortified, wondering if the lucky man had heard it

[Gintonic]

I used to work in a bar, and the smoke was the perfect cover for the most noxious of trumps.
Unfortunately the smoking ban put an end to all that.

[FlatsInDagenham]

Oh god Mixed I've forgotten students in my room after school too, then when I've noticed they're there I've desperately tried to remember whether I've done the stinky deed or not. I'm usually pretty guff-tastic at the end of the school day having been holding them all in for 5 lessons straight!

[NumericalMum]

Are you on my train OP?

[HoobleDooble]

I once let out a cheese-cutter in the middle of choir practice in the church hall. It was so loud it took me ages to convince my friend next to me that it wasn't my wooden chair scraping on the floor!

[Cortana]

I was once on the leather couch and DP sat at the computer desk. I let out a big long steady one, leather and farts make awesome noises. DP asked why the dog was growling and went to check on him. Perfect crime.

[3monkeys3]

My mother in law has started farting a lot recently! We were at theirs and I made a big fuss about it to ds1, who I thought it was - 'was that you, you stinky thing, say pardon me' (in jovial tone!) and dh told me later that it was mil!

[LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance]

It's a talent that comes in handy when it's necessary to remind the offender about the correct use of the loo brush.

[3monkeys3]

I try not to, but I am a ridiculously embarrassed about bodily functions sort of person. I never fart in front of my dh either, but do in front of my dc. My dh farts loads - I have been known to announce to people near us that it was him (he thinks this is funny btw) - he does really childish things like farting and then locking ne in the car with the windows up! I remember once we walked up to the church in which we were going to get married in a few weeks and were having a nice, cuddly moment at the gate and he did a huge, smelly fart - ranks amongst one of my favourite moments with him, always makes me giggle when I think about it.