To not understand skidmarks (genuine question)

[neveradullmomentinparadise]

Seriously, is this a man thing (as it is in my household)? Surely one poos, then wipes until clean, using ridiculous toilet-blocking amounts enough paper to do the job properly. That's it. Am I missing something?

[PowerPants]

Sherzade - ah thank you - I had visions of a big red plastic garden watering can.

However I can safely say that this would not do the trick for me - I'd need about ten goes I reckon.

[MarianneM]

I had this thread open on my work PC when one of the managers strolled over to ask me something - I think he saw the title.

(what does he think of me now?)

[florry88]

iM fascinated , Ive never seen one.

[sherazade]

i got mine from ebay. this size does the trick.

[NC78]

A garden sized watering can? Or a mini one?

[sherazade]

Watering can solution advocating here. Free and eco friendly minus the cost of a watering can from the pound shop. Less tissue roll needed- usually one wipe or two that wipe clean. You can practice at flushing with plenty of warm water, it's honestly not that difficult- just lean forward slightly and after most of the flushing is done you can assist with your hand which you obviously scrub with soap aftewards but it doesn't seem to come into contact with the poo.

[donteatthefiggypudding]

Gilmours pillow Yes yes! i couldn't believe what they were to begin with! absolutely disgusting.

[JamesBexleySpeed]

Bumblequeen, have you not read the posts where some people have tried to explain why it can be a bit, Er, difficult?
Your post is a bit harsh. Age, illness, disability can't be helped, but you 'could not tolerate it'. Charming. Hope no one you love ever has continence issues.

[GilmoursPillow]

Urgh, shitty towels.

One of the many, many things I don't miss about the ex.

When we first met I thought they were rust marks from where they were hung to dry on the radiator until I had a subtle sniff

[donteatthefiggypudding]

since my separation and divorce, i no longer have the joy of finding skids marks on the towels.

[Boomerwang]

You know what though? I now have a stomach bug which has affected all of my family and I'll read the pack another day because I really need them now.

[Boomerwang]

I'd best go check what my wet wipes are made of then.

[Abitwobblynow]

Moist wipes are made of plastic! Our water ecosystem is the most delicate one we have, and you are shoving stuff that doesn't degrade down it...

"Wet wipes made from a nonwoven rayon/polyester blend along with cotton in some cases. But most of them are a poly based product" - wiki



DO NOT EVER PUT ANYTHING OTHER THAN LOO PAPER DOWN A LOO!

Wet wipe users promise me you are neatly disposing of your wipes in a waste bin (lined with a carrier bag of course) and disposing of them in the kitchen bin? You know, you do in your domestic homes what is done in public loos?...

[TheArbiter]

There are a number of reasons for skidmarks:

1. Bumgrapes
   
2. Extensive anal beard, making wiping more a matter of rummaging
   
3. Leaving it too late to go to the loo, resulting in 'touching cloth'
   
4. Large bum size, making wiping the entire area a logistically complex undertaking
   
5. Sudden, explosive diarrhoea
   
   I could go on. In fact, I think I'm going to spend the day repeating this post and setting it to beats.

[Abitwobblynow]

Please please please don't use moist wipes! The watering can solution sounds a really good, clean one.

[Boomerwang]

Being too fat can make wiping difficult. That's why I need the moist wipes.

[JamesBexleySpeed]

Disabled; arthritis, can't always reach properly due to stiffness etc. Try to shower though not always possible, of course.

I can't believe I just said that out loud, as it were.

[moodyblue]

I have been lurking (literally) for years and find it amusing that this thread (and half a bottle of wine) is what's encouraged me to post!! My ex-dh had very skiddy kecks but unfortunately ds1 is similarly afflicted so I didn't lose the problem when dh upped and left. In their case the issue concerned the fact that they both have developmental co-ordination disorder (dcd) and problems with knowing where their body is in space. In other words they struggle to understand what the back of their body is doing. Like how you might find it hard to fasten a belt behind your back they struggle to wipe their arses. As something like 1 in 6 males is thought to have dcd this could account for a lot of men's shitty undercrackers.

[INeedThatForkOff]

Oh bollocks, Mumsnet.

[INeedThatForkOff]

I had a lazy glance at this thread a while ago but had nothing to add. I will say though that the title is fucking awesome. Everything I love about Mumnet!

[nemno]

Water without some sort of scraper does not remove poo from shoes or buggy wheels unless under pressure. So I too am intrigued how a watering can might work.

I know that a lot of water ends up everywhere in loos that have a tap with short hose next to the pan but who cleans the actual hose which presumably has been held be a dirty hand? These loos (in Muslim countries I have been) don't generally provide paper as well.

I get the eating with only the right hand thing but in my experience food preparation is always done with 2 hands.

I have pondered these issues for some time and I am thrilled to find a thread to ask about them.

[sudaname]

Yes it was but funny though for years after we laughed about her lucky escape.
I dont get the watering can thing either - l'd do me back in trying to pour it down. Also surely the paper would just break up on a wet bottom wouldnt it - unless youre posh and use embossed.

[PowerPants]

sudaname - that is GRIM.

I don't get the watering can thing either. How do you get it down your arse crack? And even if you did how would the force of water be enough to wash away the poo?

[sudaname]

This reminds me of time a friend very suddenly got rid of a boyfriend whom she had seemed very loved up with. Apparently they had been in bed together for the first time and he had got up to use the loo - next door in flat and paper thin walls (no pun intended). So she could hear he was doing number twos which was gross enough but she thought 'well, when you gotta go' etc. etc. so she quickly got herself past that one.
What finished her off was hearing the toilet flush and then in a flash our shitty arsed romeo was climbing back in bed with her.
Or as she put it ' from last plop to back in bed, in less than ten seconds'

< bleugh