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AIBU?

I absolutely wasn't, was I?

65 replies

hazleweatherfieldgirldetective · 11/12/2012 16:52

I recently volunteered to help out with my local girl guide group and last night was my first meeting with them. At the start they all played a game where one leader would call out a statement followed by an instruction such as 'if you have brown hair, move four chairs to the left'.

This went on for a while and in the end, the other leader was running out of suggestions, so the girls got a bit silly and started shouting out their own. One girl shouted 'Move one chair right if you're American!' to which the leader laughed and said 'No one here is American X!'. Another little girl, with a strong north-easter accent piped up 'I'm American!'.

'Yeah right! And I'm Japanese!' Responded the leader, placing her fingers at the corners of her eyes and pulling them tight cue much raucous laughing from the girls and the leader.

At this point I interjected, and told the girls it wasn't very nice to laugh at an entire ethnic group because of a physical feature. The girls went quiet, the other leader glared at me viciously, there was a short pause and the game continued.

I doubt very much I will be allowed back. But I wasn't being unreasonable, was I?

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kirstytate · 11/12/2012 20:46

Well done for saying something - although I also wonder about the girl that spoke up. I have two dual-national DDS who might have been put in a similar position just because their accents don't match other people's expectations.

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cumfy · 11/12/2012 20:50

Hazel now you're really confusing me.
Surely accents are just as obvious traits as physical characteristics.

And I maintain you're still avoiding the central issue of the dynamic of the joke versus the racial stereotype.

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whiteandyelloworchid · 11/12/2012 20:53

phantomnamechanger, is it really bitchy amoung the volunteers then?
are they into gossping about people?

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hazleweatherfieldgirldetective · 11/12/2012 20:54

I'm sorry cumfy, its just I expect jokes to actually be, well, funny I suppose.

Also, no, an accent isn't a defining trait. Were my DS to move to Nigeria, he would grow up with a Nigerian accent. However, that would not lead anyone to refer to him as black African.

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PumpkinPositive · 11/12/2012 21:34

I don't see your point though cumfy. Had she responded in a Japanese accent, I wouldn't have found it offensive.

Why would that be any more acceptable?

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maddening · 11/12/2012 22:17

I thought girl guides and brownies were Christian - is that not why they "pledge my allegiance to god"?

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greenandcabbagelooking · 11/12/2012 22:22

Maddening - no! See my post up-thread.

Sorry, I get very worked up about this. People see Girlguiding as a white, middle class, Christian organisation and it just isn't. We are for all girls and women.

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maddening · 11/12/2012 23:18

Oh sorry with the pledge and ours was very church orientated I found so that's why i was under the impression but maybe that was just our pack. I only stayed a year after brownies :)

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Redorwhitejusthaveboth · 11/12/2012 23:23

Yanbu - I also imagine you might be considering making a formal complaint to the girl guides association?

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Lifeissweet · 11/12/2012 23:36

I am a bit Shock that do many on here seem to think that making 'Japanese eyes' is acceptable. I also can't believe that people are trying to claim that it isn't racist!

Saying that people of certain ethnic origins have certain physical characteristics is fine. No one is saying that pointing out differences in people is racist - but actually pulling a face to represent a physical characteristic in an attempt to be funny is an entirely different matter, surely. You can see that, can't you?!

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NishiNoUsagi · 11/12/2012 23:42

As a mum to 2 half-Japanese dcs, thank you for standing up and saying something! can't believe people think it's acceptable to say that kind of thing - and if front of kids too Confused

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PumpkinPositive · 12/12/2012 01:04

I am a bit that do many on here seem to think that making 'Japanese eyes' is acceptable. I also can't believe that people are trying to claim that it isn't racist!

Depends. I use BSL at work, and one of the regional signs for Chinese still in common parlance is predicated on this - you don't stretch your eyes as such, but the sign clearly indicates this (not explaining well!). It could be perceived as iffy to non signers.

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hazleweatherfieldgirldetective · 12/12/2012 07:13

But she wasn't doing BSL, Pumpkin. She was poking fun at a physical trait to a group of white girls in a very non ethnically diverse area.

The girls should be educated, not encouraged to laugh at someone they perceive to be "different".

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Lifeissweet · 12/12/2012 18:40

I know about non-pc BSL signs. I have a deaf DS, but this is entirely different.

I would suggest that if a Japanese child had been part of the group that she wouldn't have made that joke. That is because it is offensive.

I work in a school with quite a few Vietnamese and Chinese children. If I did something like that I would be facing a disciplinary, I can guarantee it - and quite right too.

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phantomnamechanger · 13/12/2012 16:50

not all guiders are gossipy/bitchy no, whiteandyellow - but the possibility is there that the "word"/opinion of a newbie would not be taken against the word of an established, experienced & well known leader. They might just be seen as a trouble maker rather than having the best interest of the girls and the organisation at heart, IYSWIM. I can see senior guiders letting this go as they dont want to rock the boat and lose a valuable trained, experienced guider. Wrong, but true in some places I am certain.

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