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AIBU?

To think they should reconsider the DJ's job since the nurse commited suicide?

209 replies

MightTinge · 07/12/2012 15:52

For some strange reason I felt cross when I read of her suicide. Was she in the wrong place at the wrong time? Should the DJ be punished or is it simple a
'Stunt gone wrong'?
After all look what happened with sachsgate. This was much worse IMO before her suicide.
I feel very sad for her children.

here

OP posts:
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RabidCarrot · 10/12/2012 08:02

Heartbreaking for her children and family.
However no sane and reasonable person kills them self over something as trivial as this, it would seen she was not in trouble with the hospital, the Royal family made no complaint and really no damage was done, we all knew the Duchess of Cambridge was in hospital, we knew she was being given fluids and we knew she was chucking her guts up, it was all on the news and in every bloody paper so it is not as if anything new was said.
Total stupid over reaction

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NetworkGuy · 09/12/2012 16:38

"stigma attached to mental illness and how little it is openly discussed. This is perfectly illustrated by the poster above mentioning how the subject is completely avoided." - DixieD

Sorry, if I wasn't clear. Was meaning that discussing the death of their son would likely be avoided unless they brought it up. I'm not in a position to comment on the mental health of someone I knew only slightly, and even if I had known him well, am not qualified in that field. In his case, a combination of drugs and alcohol (which was meant to be avoided with his prescription) may have been the cause.

Also, the quotes regarding 'commit suicide' were chosen by me, and I decided not to include one which mentioned mental health, in part, because it is a touchy subject where even hinting at it could offend someone who is disturbed, or has had a history of problems.

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junowiththegladrags · 09/12/2012 11:52

It was an error, and a refresher on confidentiality might of been appropriate, but it wasn't a sackable offence which was what that thread called for.

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Whistlingwaves · 09/12/2012 11:43

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Whistlingwaves · 09/12/2012 11:42

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junowiththegladrags · 09/12/2012 11:23

I think the point is that neither nurse committed a sackable offence and the frothing posters were hyping up a very minor incident because of its connections to royalty.

The whole bloody thing is a mess and further froth is just making things worse.

If anyone dies of suicide the correct response is sadness not to point fingers without having knowledge of their issues or reasons.

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FivesGoldNorks · 09/12/2012 09:45

Agreed. But that is the extreme. To behave as if everyone you don't know is 100% mentally healthy is the other extreme

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SolidGoldFrankensteinandmurgh · 09/12/2012 09:00

well, to behave as though everyone is so fragile that they'll kill themselves if you look at them the wrong way would be a very bad idea. It would mean that no one could ever be criticized, no matter how stupid or lazy or unhelpful they were being, and it would also lead to a culture of unhealthy deference where the powerful could reject or silence any questioning on the grounds that their feelings might be hurt.

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FivesGoldNorks · 09/12/2012 08:22

Alark thank you. You've put into words what I've been trying to say. Everyone keeps saying the DJs could never have predicted this, she must have had other stuff going on. Well what makes that ok? Why is it fine to assume someone's mentally healthy and work on that basis?

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FivesGoldNorks · 09/12/2012 08:20

Hoolio please stop going on about screeching, you've made your point and it's getting old.

I was on the other thread, said I was on the fence and would happily see it re instated as I stand by my comments in the circumstances at the time.

Is it bad just to post on a thread calling for someone's job?

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SantaIAmSoFuckingRock · 09/12/2012 01:59

just to be clear. i am atheist and do not share the idea that to take your own life is any sort of sin.

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SantaIAmSoFuckingRock · 09/12/2012 01:57

in response to mrsDV

i was raised and live in a very catholic area of ireland and there still is talk of sin around taking your own life. it is very much accpeted and the norm (as in, not questioned) that a suicide victim would not be buried in consecrated ground. IME there is still a stigma. but i completely accept that this is my own experience and otehrs may never have expereince dthis, which mught explain why the term would not cause any offence in their own socuial circles.

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DoingItOnTheRoofTopWithSanta · 09/12/2012 01:51

Hoolio You have effectively accused me of murder over an internet post saying, again, that someone deserved to be sacked. I own no one an apology the woman who killed herself almost undoubtedly did not kill herself for only this reason. That is not how suicide works. Your shrieking over how I have driven a woman to kill herself is much worse than me saying someone should be sacked. You are unbelievably ignorant and hypocritical.

Please answer me, if I, who has actually assuredly read your comment now go and kill myself would you apologize? Would it be your fault?

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alarkthatcouldpray · 08/12/2012 22:30

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SolidGoldFrankensteinandmurgh · 08/12/2012 21:48

What I find a little distasteful is the assumption made that, even if Jacintha Saldahna killed herself (which has NOT been confirmed AFAIK) then it must have been over the prank call. Because this is behaving as though she, and her life, and her thoughts and her problems couldn't possibly have mattered, that the only thing about her that is of interest is her tenuous connection with a famous pregnant person. For all anyone knows, she could have been informed that morning that she was terminally ill/her husband was leaving her/she was about to face criminal charges for something or other completely unconnected to the prank call. But hey, only the famous matter, and the rest of us peasants can't possibly have narratives of our own.

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HoolioHallio · 08/12/2012 18:15

Please link to where I have asked for blood?

A simple apology would go a long way to show that beneath your screeching, judgemental lack of compassion that you do actually have a human heart.

But I doubt it.

You, and every other faceless stranger on the internet who criticised, humiliated and castigated those 2 members of staff online, without having a real CLUE about the circumstances, contributed, however indirectly to the death of another human being. Of course you don't like hearing it. I certainly wouldn't like hearing it if I had been calling for someones life to be ruined, and it then happened in the most horrific circumstances imaginable. But to many people, you and those who thought and acted like you did, bear some responsibility. Unpalatable as that may be to you.

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DixieD · 08/12/2012 18:10

mrsDV there are of course a myriad of reasons why there is stigma attached to suicide. All of the ones you mentioned feature. The implication of criminality does not help. Of course changing the commonly used terminology is only a small step but it is important that the dialogue around suicide is more sympathetic to the victim. Commit suicide as a phrase suggests a planned deliberate nearly cynical act like someone would commit a murder or burglary and is quite accusatory. When of course we know those people driven to suicide are often incapable of rational thought. They are lost in a terrible, lonely, desperate place where suicide seems the only way out.

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DoingItOnTheRoofTopWithSanta · 08/12/2012 17:33

Doingit - you and the other fucking harpies screeching on that thread for her to be sacked (and yes - there were PLENTY of calls for the 'receptionist' who answered the phone to be sacked') shouldn't have even been commenting. What fucking right do you have to sit as judge and jury on someone elses career and life? Words on a screen ? Yeah - buy into that bullshit all you like but YOU and every other person who posted negative, hurtful, speculative and gossip mongering posts bear a level of responsibility for what happened. Whether YOU like it or not. And if acknowledging that means that ONE person will stop to think before laying into another human being from behind the safety of a computer screen then thank god for that.I wish that MNHQ would reinstate the thread to be honest - if only to force you all to take responsibility for the comments that you made.


I fucking LOVE irony.
I say (quite rightly) that a person giving away personal info should be sacked.

You say that a person on the internet who says someone should get sacked should be culpable for someone elses suicide. Why do you have the right to ask for blood for what I did? Something that the woman involved probably never saw. And simply stated "she should get sacked" You stupid stupid stupid person.

Now say thanks to your ridiculous comments which I have definitely seen, I go and kill myself. Should you also be held responsible as you have pushed me to take responsibility?

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MrsDeVere · 08/12/2012 17:20

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SantaIAmSoFuckingRock · 08/12/2012 15:09

"Also not sure why on earth we would want to destigmatise suicide?! No, it's not a crime but it's awful, tragic and the worse it is seen the better as far as I'm concerned. Nobody should have to go through the aftermath of a person killing themselves. A move towards seeing it as an okay thing to do would be disastrous in my opinion. "

you are misunderstanding. it isn't a move to destigmatise suicide to make it an okay thing to do. it is to destigmatise the feelings and thoughts about suicide so that people are more able/comfortable to talk about it, thoughts they may have had about suicide so that they may get the appropriate help.

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Whistlingwaves · 08/12/2012 15:00

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GothAnneGeddes · 08/12/2012 14:47

I missed the thread asking for the nurses to be sacked. How disgusting (but unsurprising) that such a thread existed. It could have well been something that put her over the edge. It should allowed to stand, so people can't pretend now.

As soon as I heard about the hoax, I said the nurses involved would be sobbing in the staffroom over this.

I also have a strong feeling hospital management were not supportive, unlike our medical colleagues, nurses are very quick to throw staff under the bus when something goes wrong.

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HoolioHallio · 08/12/2012 13:47

Doingit - you and the other fucking harpies screeching on that thread for her to be sacked (and yes - there were PLENTY of calls for the 'receptionist' who answered the phone to be sacked') shouldn't have even been commenting. What fucking right do you have to sit as judge and jury on someone elses career and life? Words on a screen ? Yeah - buy into that bullshit all you like but YOU and every other person who posted negative, hurtful, speculative and gossip mongering posts bear a level of responsibility for what happened. Whether YOU like it or not. And if acknowledging that means that ONE person will stop to think before laying into another human being from behind the safety of a computer screen then thank god for that.

I wish that MNHQ would reinstate the thread to be honest - if only to force you all to take responsibility for the comments that you made.

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LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 08/12/2012 13:18

The people at fault are the moron members of the public who clamour for information, unable to live their own meaningless lives without knowing things that are none of their business. Unfortunately, they won't have the wit or the conscience to realise it.

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DoingItOnTheRoofTopWithSanta · 08/12/2012 12:53

Oh and the people who asked that previous thread to be pulled were the ones offended by the thread in the first place, said I thought it should stand with an altered title.

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