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AIBU?

To love my DH more after 22 years married and nearly 25 together than I could have imagined possible

54 replies

marriedinwhite · 06/12/2012 22:10

At this grumpy pre-Xmas, grumpy about families time of year, just a little note to say it can be worth it. We have survived the hard years with a big mortgage and tiny children and having to take stock of what we both expected from life. We have survived bereavements of parents and a son. We have forged our lives, our careers, our mutual and independent friends, and our home and have reasonably normal teenagers.

After almost 25 years together I love my DH, warts an' all, more than I did when we met. Just thought I would say and explain that there are ups and downs and good times and bad, but having stuck it out and worked together, I wouldn't have believed how much I could love him and how much more I love him than 20 or more years ago.

There you go then, nice thread.

OP posts:
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InNeedOfBrandyButter · 09/12/2012 15:06

Aww how lovely [heart warming emoticon]

Wish I could say the same, although being single is better then being a bastard no matter how many years you've stuck it out so far.

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valiumredhead · 09/12/2012 15:02

Yeah me too, been with dh 22 years.

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BlackBagFestiveBorderBinLiner · 09/12/2012 14:55

Known each other for 20 years, together 19, can't imagine life without hiim but am prepared to make a fresh start with Johnny Depp.

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Lizzylou · 09/12/2012 14:30

Awww. lovely thread.
Been married to dh for 10yrs, together 16 yrs.
Hoping we still feel the same in 15 yrs. Have to say my side of the family haven't really provided any great examples of married bliss. I do feel very lucky.

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HollyDayzacummin · 09/12/2012 14:25

I got it the wrong way round Blush. Together 25 years, coming up to 22 married! Doh! We've fought and argued at times and when we were young we were almost polar opposites in so many ways. Bit by bit we seem to have joined in the middle. It helps, too, that Sky telly now do multiroom. Otherwise his love of sport would have driven me to distraction! We've been together so long now I get confuzaled at it all!

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KnitFastDieWarm · 07/12/2012 09:28

What a lovely thread :)
Been with DP for 4 years, getting married next August. He is my best friend, responsible, kind, great fun, a volunteer at a soup kitchen, a fantastic cook and a raging feminist supporter who can't wait to be a father. He also loves me for me - for being independent, feisty, daft and sometimes clinically depressed - and has stuck by me through some tricky times. I hope I can say the same in 25 years time as some of the posters here. I'd also like to mention my mum and dad, who are great relationship role models - 30 years together through some hard times which they've faced together, and they still make each other giggle like teenagers, flirt, go on romantic holidays and generally enjoy each others' company. When I give a speech at my wedding next year (DP's idea!) I will thank them from the bottom of my heart for showing me what marriage can and should be.
Ooh my little heart feels all warm now!

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specialsubject · 07/12/2012 09:27

me too. So much to be grateful for.

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CheerfulYank · 07/12/2012 09:27

Though my parents started dating at 16 and wanted to get engaged right away...their parents said absolutely not, until my mom fell pregnant at 18. Then their parents couldn't throw them up the aisle fast enough, apparently! :)

They are 52 now and will have been married for 34 years this February, and are very happy and solid.

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CheerfulYank · 07/12/2012 09:25

You will, Sidge, 'cause you're lovely and funny and gorgeous. Xmas Smile

I have been with my DH for 9 years, married for 6. I really do love him more all the time. Seeing him with our DS, etc. I do worry sometimes...so many people seem not to make it! This thread gives me hope.

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nokidshere · 07/12/2012 09:18

We have been married for 26 years and together for over 30. I wouldn;t want it any other way and, in general, we have been and are very happy.

I couldn't imagine life without him and I think he would say the same although there have been times where we would have happily killed each other!!! But thats normal right? lol

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sarahseashell · 07/12/2012 09:13

Xmas Smile
lovely thread. congratulations!

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timehasflown · 07/12/2012 09:06

Been married 25 years, together nearly 30, and stronger than ever. Like everyone else, we've been through our bad times, bereavements etc but looking back, those are the times that have made us what we are.

If all goes to plan, both DC will have left home by the end of next year. They have been the centre of our lives for so long that it will be very strange. But it is also very exciting to think that we will be going back to life as a couple, and we have so much planned.

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FeelingFestiveCheerMum · 07/12/2012 08:47

Same here, been together 20 years, married for 18. We have survived quite a lot of stress, my poor Dh puts up with a lot because of my depression and anxiety and yet he's still my rock. He still adores me despite suicidal times, self harm, alcoholism and putting on 10 stone. I am turning 40 soon and, quite simply, if it wasn't for him then I would have been dead years ago.
Merry Christmas all x

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KenLeeeeeee · 07/12/2012 08:47

Lovely thread. Cheered me right up!

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noddyholder · 07/12/2012 08:40

We are the same 22 years and as good as it ever was.

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lotsofdogshere · 07/12/2012 08:32

What a life affirming thread. I had a failed marriage, awful, wouldn't wish it on anyone. But, then I met and married a lovely man, been together 31 years, and married for 29 of them. Like everyone else, we have faced all kinds of stresses, but got through them together, had a lot of fun and still in love. If it works, it's great. Merry Christmas, one and all!

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LegArmpits · 07/12/2012 07:30

Aw, lovely thread. Only together 8 years with my DH, married for 2 and in the middle of the big mortgage/little children but my God, I love him. I only wish I'd met him years before.

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EarthMotherImNot · 07/12/2012 07:00

Lovely threadXmas Smile

Dh and I have been married 38 years, "courting" lovely old fashioned word, for 7 years so 45 years in total.

We too have been through the mill a bit, the deaths of our parents, family members, friends etc. Miscarriages, financial worries and my diagnosis of breast cancer last year.

3 dc's and many foster children later I would be desolate without him Xmas Smile

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HollyBerryBush · 07/12/2012 06:52

Been together 21 years, married 19 - I dread the day one of us corks it coz we really are two halves of the same coin.

He really is my best friend.

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TheNebulousBoojum · 07/12/2012 06:47

It's a bit sad that I thought it would be you before I opened the thread, because you are one of the few on here that do seem to have been happily married for a long time and are unashamed to say so. Against some fairly strong criticism of your relationship.

Bit like me then. Smile 30 years together and counting.
Happy Christmas marriedinwhite and many more of them.

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maras2 · 07/12/2012 02:29

What a lovely thing to post.How very lucky you are.Though we weren't married in white .... geddit .... we had a nice registry office in 1975 after being together since 1968.A bit smug now as to the reason why I'm posting so late.I'm still a bit wired after having extremely good and rampant sex,all be it with the aid of nurofen (arthritic knees).Like you,the love that I feel for my husband just grows. Mx.

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FBworry · 06/12/2012 23:20

Aww!

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chickydoo · 06/12/2012 23:15
Grin
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chickydoo · 06/12/2012 23:15

Me too grin] me too

Married 22 years together 25.
He's lovely & he's mine......still....

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birthdaypanic · 06/12/2012 23:14

33 years married we too have had good/bad times there have been times when he irritates me to the point I want to kill him. Live without him never just can't imagine life without him, he hasn't got a perfect body or looks but he is my perfect partner.

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