DS turned two in October and is such a lovely little boy, very kind and caring, I really enjoy his company. Six weeks in and no sign of any terrible twos yet, plus he's finally started going to bed at bedtime, staying there all night, and getting up at a reasonable hour, so he's okay with one of our mums babysitting meaning DH and I can have the odd night out.
DH and I always planned to have two kids, but are having a serious case of not-wanting-to-rock-the-boat-itus. I've recently started a new job that I'm really enjoying, three days a week, and childcare is all covered by DH and grandmas, so DS is very happy with this arrangement too, and our finances are healthy enough to start saving for a holiday. Life is good!
I feel happy, fulfilled and well-balanced.
We've just got back from a weekend staying with friends who have an 18 month old and 5 year old, and without wanting to sound too wet, it just all seemed a bit too much like hard work! The parents were arguing over who did what, the kids were fighting over their toys and which parent they wanted to do something for them. I don't think anyone was enjoying themselves!
AIBU to think that one child might be enough? For me and DH as well as for DS - is it fair on DS not to give him a brother or sister? Things got pretty rocky with DH when DS was young and not sleeping or feeding well, we're back on solid ground now but I don't know if our relationship could take it again.
AIBU?
to think that two children just looks a bit too much like hard work?!
Bullets · 03/12/2012 19:41
I'm also quite pleased to see people owning up to being "too lazy" for a second! 
This probably describes (loosely) mine and DH's attitdue. I know that DS's incredibly strong personality is going to make him the most amazing, driven adult, but he is HARD work, and he pushes us to the limits of our patience. I absolutely love and adore everything that he is, but I'm not going to kid myself into believing that I could cope with another. For a start, I know our (DH and me) relationship would suffer based on how we have fared when we have gone through some very difficult times with DS.
I must say, I do find this idea of bringing whole other people into the world just to help with old age homes and funeral arrangements utterly bizarre! Seems like such a strange reason to create a new life form, someone with their own personality, life, dreams, goals, relegated to the post of "emotional support for existing child". I'ts especially strange to me when you consider ALL the different permeatations of how a sibling relationship may end up... I know a lot of friends who don't even speak to their siblings, so they'd be of no help at all!
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
I agree that whatever number of children suits your family is personal and dependant on many things.
The only thing I will say though in reply to some PP posts is that having a sibling does not exclude you from making strong, life-long friendships outside of the family.
My brother and I were very close as children, but less close as adults, though we're still in regular contact. We have very different interests but it doesn't matter. He has a fantastic set of friends that he is very close to and this is great. I have a couple of good friends and DH 
.
Hi Bullets,
I'd say: if you're not sure, don't. It may all turn out fine, and you'll have an easy second baby who gets on famously with your DS, but as I see it the chances of something not working out are that much greater. What if your DC can't stand each other? What if you have an incredibly high need, high maintenance baby and end up resenting him/her for destroying the close bond you now have with your DS? What if things are 'OK', but it turns out to be just one stress too many on your relationship with your DH?
Sorry to be all doom and gloom - sometimes you need the viewpoint of a miserable, pessimistic fecker. My sister and I were at one another's throats throughout our childhood and often drove my mum to tears. DH and his DSis hated one another, and pretty much still do. My dad and his brother never really got on. None of my friends got on with their siblings. I know someone at work who has a good relationship with her siblings, which does make me a bit wistful, but in my experience it goes wrong more often than not. I've also seen too many couples split up after #2 came along. We're stopping at one, in case you were wondering
Sorry! I'll fuck off now.
"Throw DD under a bus?!" She just may have been hounded out of Mumsnet, poor thing 
I think people were very sympathetic - though would have been a different story if she'd posted in AIBU by mistake!
She came across as very nice, despite the bus, and understandably at the end of her tether. Wish I could remember her name.
I found that going from one to two was SO much easier than expected. We had a 5 year gap (maybe that helped?) but I wish we'd done it sooner. In fact, DD slotted so easily into our family life that DH and I soon made the unexpected decision to try for a third. Before DD arrived I'd never imagined that I would even consider a third. The third turned out to be twins.. due quite soon! So I'll soon find out what it is like to move from 2 to 4
I just can't think of any negatives at all that have come from having a second, only really positive things. I still say to DH that I just can't believe how much nicer it is having two - I really feel like we are a 'family' when we're all together, rather than just two parents and one child. But, maybe the biggish age gap helps as DS & DD get on brilliantly & it is lovely to see them playing together. She was also a very easy newborn who slept through the night relatively quickly so we never had that "newborn exhaustion" phase at all.
I felt exactly the same, I still feel the same way sometimes and I'm 20 weeks pregnant with number 2! There will be a 10 year age gap which is massive I know but I was 17 with DD and I wasn't ready at all for her let alone 2 of them. I think the age gap will help us a lot and DD is very very excited.
Don't rule out the possibility that you may change your mind I was adamant I wouldn't change mine until DH was booked in for the snip 
We have a 3 year 8 month age gap - ds first and then dd. They have always adores each other but have started fighting recently at 2 and 5.
It's more than double the work IMO especially when they're ill- then it is utterly hellish!
However, the thing that swung it for me was that theyd have each other when me and dh are old or dead. 
It's been hard though that's for sure.
I became a parent of two this year. We have DS1 who is five, and DS2 who is eight months. They adore each other (for now) and it is lovely to see them together.
However, two is more than twice the work of one. It's been stressful at times. I'm back to work soon and really have no idea how we will manage. I'm doing all the child related tasks at the moment, and well over half the housework (which is fine as I am at home all day) but I honestly think DH has no idea how much more work it is, and he is in for a big shock next month.
Horses for courses, if you don't want another, don't have another. It looks like hard work because it is hard work
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