To not let my Dad bring his GF for Xmas day?

[Mayanala]

My parents have been divorced for a long time, they get on okay but would never choose to spend time together. My mum, Db & his wife are coming for Xmas day as well as my Dad. He wants to bring his GF who he has been with for a few years but my Mum says she will feel very uncomfortable with this. I did invite my Dad and he asked me today what 'they' should bring.

I am not stuck in teh middle, my Mum would never kick up a fuss but I want her to be able to relax and enjoy her Xmas.

Would it be unreasonable to 'uninvite' my Dad?

[bradywasmyfavouriteking]

They are a couple though of 2 years. Thats long enough to spend Christmases together.

[CarlingBlackMabel]

Is she upset about the break up of her 14 year relationship?

I was thoroughly miserable at christmas following a break up that year.

Does she have anyone else she could spend Christmas with?

[Mayanala]

No she doesn't have anyone else, I do feel more responsible for her because of this, she also has a fantastic relationship with our three DC and they would be very upset if she wasn't there.

My Mum is not deliberately trying to make things difficult, often my parents will come over at the same time for a Sunday roast. I think she just feels very uncomfortable around this woman for whatever reason.

I didn't think my Dad would bring his GF, she rarely comes with him when he comes round and has always spend Xmas with her own family.

[DontmindifIdo]

so your dad doesn't live with his partner and she normally doesn't spend Christmas with him, then YANBU to be surprised he wants to bring her along and hasn't asked you first. The assumption wouldn't be there that it was an invite for both of them - I tend to assume couples who live together should be treated as a unit, but when they don't live together invites for one shouldn't always include the other unless specified.

I think uninviting your Dad in this situation is fine, so long as you invite him for boxing day, and possibly compromise on inviting them for tea and to spend the evening?

[SquirtedPerfumeUpNoseInBoots]

Ah, in that case its your mum being u. That's different.

[SquirtedPerfumeUpNoseInBoots]

Sorry. Missed the last op as well. Am really slow.
Ignore me now, am about six months behind with posting responses.

[bradywasmyfavouriteking]

She is trying to be difficult.

She would have kept her quiet if she really didn't want to cause trouble. I am a bit confused though, you found out today and called her and told her, straight away?

[AThingInYourLife]

"Frankly - I'd disinvite all of them if I were lumbered with such petulence (sic)"

:o

Fight petulance with petulance?

[Nagoo]

How realistic is it that you might be able to have a quiet word with your dad and exlpain why you want to move his visit to Boxing day? I would think it was a bit rude to un-invite him without explaining, and your mum is U if she won't let you be honest about the reason.