to have called this guy a fucking...

[goralka]

nonce?
My daughter who just turned 14 left her fb open as she does, and there was this conversation with a 23 year old, all kissy kissy and hearts and hugs. In fairness to him at one point in the conversation he had said there was too much of an 'age gap' but the conversation had continued the next day in the same vein.
OK so on a bit of an adrenaline rush I closed her FB and opened mine (that I use for business) found him, and sent a message telling him to 'defriend her or I would report him' all very adult - then my angry fingers and adrenalin took over and I sent another message calling him a 'fuckin nonce' and that his tracksuit reminded me of Savile......was that unreasonable?

[MamaBear17]

Report him. There is something seriously wrong with a 23 year old man chatting up a 14 year old girl.

[lljkk]

Oh heavens :(, the Asperger's is a very very important factor. Not saying that he's necessarily harmless, but I hope the police deal with him sensitively nonetheless.

[TheNebulousBoojum]

The Asperger's is relevant, but contacting the police with that information as well as the rest of the story may well be the best way forwards.
It's probably me you got the 2/3 of chronological age emotionally from, my Aspie is 17.
The police are usually very sensitive about dealing with people on the spectrum, they could send someone round to explain clearly to him what he's doing, how it is perceived by others and that he must stop. Much better from a calm, non-judgemental professional aiming to solve the problem that a screeching mob with pitchforks and 'Burn in Hell Peedo!' signs.
If he's 23, he may well not be living at home, but he's obviously missed out on some of the lifeskills I'm continually implementing and reinforcing in my DS.

[HecatePropylaea]

Do not leave it there in view of his condition.

My children both have autism.

If there were doing stuff like this I would NEED to know about it. I would need to be able to explain things to them and to make sure they understood why it was inappropriate. It would show me that I had further work to do on their understanding and development.

I would be furious with someone who denied me that because they were trying to make allowances for my children's inappropriate behaviour.

[HecatePropylaea]

Meant to ask - how did you find out he has aspergers? And how do you know this is true?

[gallivantsaregood]

Child protection is everyone's responsibility and it is IMO your responsibility to contact CEOP.

You THINK thus young nan has Aspergers. You do not know for sure. If he doesnt he is predatory and a risk to children.


If he does and isn't aware of the social 'rules' he is still, albeit potentially unwittingly, putting children at risk. In addition you may be protecting his future wellbeing by reporting him and enduring te receives the support he needs to keep him and children safe.

[CSIJanner]

Okay - DH told me this morning that IABU in my advice. He suggests contacting CEOP in this case. He may deleted accounts, he might as he claims as asbergers but let them sort it. He could have another account, there could be other children. Let them investigate. HTH!

[goralka]

OK I reported it to CEOP, thank you all for your input

[waltermittymistletoe]

Well done goralka! :)

[cheesesarnie]

How do you know he has Aspergers?

[goralka]

somebody told me....

[lovebunny]

asperger's has nothing to do with it. if he's contacting young girls he's doing the wrong thing. good for you for reporting.

[TheNebulousBoojum]

'asperger's has nothing to do with it.'

Of course it does, if he has AS he may not be clear about social boundaries, conventions or the nuances of NT behaviour. It's not an excuse FFS, but a possible explanation. Foolish to deny the connection.
Several of the posters on this thread who have children on the spectrum, including me, have suggested that the OP contact the police or other officials.
He needs to stop.