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AIBU?

to have sobbed my heart out at work today because I shouldn't have to do this

484 replies

caniscantanymore · 17/10/2012 20:53

I'm a vet. Some details changed or omitted for anonymity purposes and because I'll get flamed for this.

Today a man brought his dog in to me.

The dog was a large, boisterous adolescent puppy. He hurtled into the room, bouncing up to me excitedly, wagging his tail all the time and nudging at my hand with his muzzle. His big squishy paws crashed against my chest each time he paused to greet me, as he bounded around the room investigating all the smells. He was an unusual cross, very striking to look at and obviously a bright and energetic dog. He was adorable.

The history went like this:

The dog had been bought as a tiny puppy by a couple who were told it was a "designer" cross between two specific small breeds. Now, if the people who bought this puppy had had the slightest inkling about what they were doing it would have been immediately obvious to them that this was most certainly not a cross between two small breeds. But anyway, they didn't have a clue so they bought the cute little puppy from this dubious source (probably at a cost of several hundred pounds) and took it back to their family home, complete with toddler.

The dog grew a bit and it became clear that it was actually going to be really big. It was bouncy, energetic and destructive. It kept racing around and knocking over their small child. So they rehomed it to a family member.

The family member also had children but they were slightly bigger children. The family member really wanted to do the right thing, so they tried to "discipline" the dog. The dog began to show occasional signs of aggression and was completely hyperactive in the home, destructive and unmanageable. I was not surprised to hear this, since it was obvious to me from this dog's heritage that it was the sort of dog which had significant needs in terms of exercise and stimulation. In an attempt to magically resolve the issues the family member had the dog neutered. Which unsurprisingly made no difference.

Today the dog was brought in to be put to sleep. It had growled very aggressively when a child had put its face near his, and between this and an imminent change in circumstances the family member felt unable to manage the dog any more. He had tried local and national rescue organisations, all of which were full. He had nobody to care for the dog overnight tonight. He was not able to take the dog home, partly because of safety concerns and partly because the decision had been taken together as a family that it was the right thing to do.

So I put this healthy, affectionate, vibrant dog to sleep while it munched on treats and the third owner in its short life cried into his fur. Then when it was just me and the body of this poor puppy I had a good old cry myself.

I know there will be people who think I was right to put down a dog who has shown any signs of aggression under any circumstances. I disagree.

I know there will be people who think I was wrong to put down a dog when I could have taken it and found it a new home. I disagree.

I also know that there will be many many people who have no idea that this is happening all the time in this country because of irresponsible ignorant greedy people, selling dogs to irresponsible ignorant feckless people, who then pass them on to naive and thoughtless "rescuers" who eventually get to the end of their tether and bring them to me for euthanasia. All the time.

These are the dogs who bite children in the home due to a total lack of knowledge, reasonable expectations and effort to socialise them adequately.

These are the dogs whose owners can afford four figure sums to buy the latest random mongrel "breed" with a stupid made-up name, but cannot afford fifty quid to get it vaccinated, far less any money at all to treat even minor illnesses.

These are the dogs who clog up rescue centres all over the country, waiting along with thousands and thousands of others for the home with no children, no other pets and eight-foot fences, with an owner who has experience of managing behavioural problems, works from home, has stainless steel furniture and can write blank cheques to pay for the inherited illnesses the dog suffers from. Homes which don't actually exist.

These are the dogs who I have to put down because I know that it is more responsible of me to painlessly take their life than to condemn them to wait with the rest of the enormous population of "difficult" dogs sitting in rescue kennels all over the country.

Please, please, I implore you. Get advice before you take on a dog - from a vet, a qualified positive behaviourist, the Kennel Club, the Blue Cross, the Dog's Trust, the RSPCA - the information is there for the taking, there is no excuse. Go to a decent breeder, who has a waiting list, or a rescue centre which really grills you thoroughly before matching you with a pet. Find out how to bring your puppies up properly so if you do find your circumstances change then at least they are rehomable. Make sure you can afford to pay for the unexpected. Make sure your expectations are fair.

Please, because I can't keep having to do this :(

OP posts:
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headfairy · 17/10/2012 22:19

What a sad and depressing story. We bought a border collie puppet when I was 13 with absolutely no idea what the breed needed. We knew she was bright and needed stimulation but we had no idea how much stimulation and how much exercise. We were lucky to have a huge garden and live in the country so we could take her out twice a day but it was never enough. We did our best but she did have stress related problems because she wasn't stimulated enough. She developed a flea allergy and because she was so bored she chewed a hole in her back 15 cm across.

I loved our border collie to bits and she lived for 17 years which is apparently very good for the breed, but never ever again would I have one as a pet. They are working dogs and need that lifestyle.

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Eurostar · 17/10/2012 22:20

I always think it must be so hard for vets, who generally go into the profession because they want to help animals, to then have to be involved so often in ending animals' lives.

Campaigning is good. Please take care of yourself OP. Vets have such a high incidence of depression, I hope you can keep your spirits up.

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headfairy · 17/10/2012 22:23

Sorry, meant to add canis I'm so sorry you have had to do this today. No flaming from me at all, your sadness at being in such a situation is obvious.

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caniscantanymore · 17/10/2012 22:25

Flatbread
Is there a vet code of conduct which guides when a dog/animal can be put down?
www.rcvs.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/code-of-professional-conduct-for-veterinary-surgeons/supporting-guidance/euthanasia-of-animals/

Do you take money for this?
I am an employee therefore not responsible for fees, but yes, there is a charge for all euthanasia procedures except for injured wildlife.

Have you ever refused a request to kill an animal?
Not directly - in many, many cases I have provided an alternative, either by putting the owner in touch with appropriate support, arranging contact with a rescue organisation, or in some cases fostering the animal myself until a home could be found.

OP posts:
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RyleDup · 17/10/2012 22:27

Horrible for you. I'm sorry. Sad
I used to work in a vets when I first left school. I'll never forget the day a family brought in an ageing alsation and said they wanted it put to sleep as they were going on holiday and didn't want to pay the kennel fees. The vet told them that they didn't put down healthy animals and refused to do it. The father then told the vet that the dog had bitten his son, so he couldn't take the risk with keeping the dog. It was so obviously untrue, yet the vet didn't have a choice but to do it. The family, including the son, then all cuddled and kissed this so called vicious creature and then watched him be put to sleep. Then they all trotted off to enjoy their holidays Angry

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SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 17/10/2012 22:28

I have held and stroked three beloved cats when they were put to sleep, and even though they were really sick, had no quality of life or chance for recovery, it was still a heartbreaking thing to do, so I cannot imagine how hard it must be to put down an animal that is young and healthy.

Our first dog was a pedigree lab - it was my first dog, and dh hadn't had dogs since he was a teenager, so we wanted a known quantity. But when we decided to get a second dog, we chose, without hesitation, to get a rescue dog, and she has filled a hole we didn't even know existed in our lives.

Please consider rescue dogs - we have the most loving dog and would definitely go to the Dogs Trust if we wanted another dog.

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mrscumberbatch · 17/10/2012 22:29

I'm taking my 15 yr old dog to be put down next week with a heavy heart.

I love her so much, but she is so old, and deaf and blind and doesn't want to go outside anymore. I also think she has dementia.

It breaks my heart to do it but I know I'm doing right by her.

Stupid fuckers that can't even try to do right by their animals. That THEY chose.

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3monkeys3 · 17/10/2012 22:30

Oh dear, crying.

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SaggyOldClothCatPuss · 17/10/2012 22:31

Its about time people needed a license to breed anything larger than a guinea pig! Its not just dogs and cats. Im a horse person. The horse world is full of indiscriminate breeding. There are thousands of horses born every year, who end up as meat. New Forest, Welsh, Dartmoor, thoroughbred... Farms in Wales where dozens of foals are born every year, in order to keep a handful, the rest being culled in one fell swoop by the knacker man.
These animals have no chance of a good life, or even any life.
TBH, hard as it is, and you have my absolute symapthy, because I couldnt do what you do, IMO, its probably the best thing that you can do for these animals, and the large majority of those in rescue facilities.
At the end of the day , the problem needs to be dealt with at source. Stop people breeding. Neuter any animal that doesnt pass some kind of vetting for suitability to breed. And more importantly, vet people who want to breed animals.

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SrirachaGhoul · 17/10/2012 22:33

I'm so sorry about your horrible day, OP, but I'm glad you've taken the time to write this. I have a 9 month old Springer and she's a full-time job. I'm at home so I've got the time for long walks in the woods, running, training etc. My neighbour has a lab the same age who goes in her crate for 9 hours a day. They are baffled as to why she's such a maniac Sad.

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Sunnywithachanceofshowers · 17/10/2012 22:34

We lost a beautiful tom to cancer two years ago. Our vet took the decision to put him to sleep as he was clearly suffering. When we arrived to bring him home, I could see she'd been crying. She took such good care of our boy, and I'm so glad that she was with him when he passed.

I'm so sad that people think that pets are disposable. It's vile and selfish. When I hear that someone has 'got rid' of their pet for convenience I never see them the same way again. Bastards.

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catdoctor · 17/10/2012 22:37

canis Wine or several for you.
At times it's fucking bollocks.
but I think as a profession we've pussy-footed around too long, worried we'll anatagonise our client base maybe?
Nowadays I'm far more inclined to tell people that their mastiff-breed puppy is inappropriate in a household with children, their 'american bulldog' is a fighting breed, that their cute Lhaso sounds like that because it's deformed, that their endearing Persian shouldn't have its nostrils between its eyes or the siamese kit's head is so narrow that its brain is being compressed.
What I don't get is that people seem so inclined to believe the breeders of these creatures- I'm talking about behviour issues as well as physical - but think that we as vets are having them on.
Since my long journey through depression and back I'm still doing this job after 20 years - a lot of my cohort have escaped. For me, having my heart on my sleeve didn't work - I deal with this shit by hassling the next lot of fuckwits more.
Well I sound suitably patronising Wink I'm not issuing instructions, just musing really.
As my Nan would have said - keep your pecker up Smile and keep drinking

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scurryfunge · 17/10/2012 22:40

What a horrible situation for you OP.
Please don't encourage people to seek advice from the RSPCA though, they do not have animals' interest at heart.

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SabrinaMulhollandJjones · 17/10/2012 22:41

YANBU op :( It's so, so sad. It breaks my heart.

I rarely post on doghouse, but I read it and I get so annoyed when people say it's a vicious forum - it's not. It's a forum full of doglovers who hate the fact that this is a many-times-a-day occurance in vets throughout the country. And who know the reality of puppy farming, backyard breeding and the sad reality of dog rescue.

People want an ickle wickle puppy and take them on, from unscrupulous breeders, with absolutely no knowledge of the care and attention a dog needs - and no inkling of how destructive a puppy can be. They post on doghouse saying I want a labradoodle because...xyz and then wonder why they're flamed.

I have a rescue dog - and I just want to rescue all the others as well :(

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tooearlytobeup · 17/10/2012 22:43

Your post made me cry. It also made me tell my 16 month old springer how much a part of the family he is.
Your job must be so hard

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Haystack · 17/10/2012 22:44

What a moving, thought provoking post op. You sound like you do your extremely tough job with compassion. It is a really important issue and think earlier posters are right that it should be raised with the media.

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LaVitaBellissima · 17/10/2012 22:49

Crying too OP, so sorry for you and the sorry situation you are in Sad

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Ruby27 · 17/10/2012 22:51

I too work in a vets as a veterinary nurse and I agree 100% with everything you says. I've been there, cried, got so angry etc. totally understand. That's all I can say. Think before you make your choices....these animals are for life...they deserve that. X

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MissBetseyTrotwood · 17/10/2012 22:53

Just made me cuddle my greyhound a bit closer.

I was at our vet's on Monday for his boosters and while in the waiting room watched the vet nurses grilling a young woman with a husky looking pup. (Which is the breed of choice around here now for a certain type of person who uses their dog as a status symbol.) They could see from her records that she'd been in two years before with a different dog and wanted to find out where it was. The only thing she would say was that she couldn't keep him as he was 'too much' so she gave him to a friend and she didn't know where he was now. The nurses were unimpressed and told her so.

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Ajaney · 17/10/2012 22:56

I'm crying too, for the dog and you.

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tanfastic · 17/10/2012 22:58

I nearly cried at that, gosh I feel so sad now Sad

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MsVelvet · 17/10/2012 23:00

This is so sad, i took on a friends cat when she could not look after it no longer due to being allergic to it, my other friend had a cute andrex puppy type dog and after a few months couldn't handle it bouncing around and got rid of it, i was so angry, why get a pet if your not prepared to put in the work to look after it, so cruel :(

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firemansamisnormansdad · 17/10/2012 23:02

You've done the right thing by posting this. Very sad. Take comfort that we're all with you on this.

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elastamum · 17/10/2012 23:03

I'm really sorry to read this. How awful Sad.

The dog sounded just like our mad labradoodle that was rehomed to us. Bought without thought by a family with very young children, who didnt walk her properly and then when she became unmanageable and destructive, shut her away. Fortunately they had the sense to give her back to the breeder, who gave her to me, to come and live with our other dogs. For about a year, she ran away, wrecked the house and wasnt properly house trained. Because of her crap start in life she almost drove me to breaking point too. But slowly, she has settled down and got into the groove of just being part of the family. She is still desperate to be loved, but she is the happiest, most joyful dog I have ever met.

I shudder to think how easliy she could have been your poor dog today

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edam · 17/10/2012 23:05

That's such a sad story, and it must be incredibly frustrating and depressing to see it happening again and again.

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