Extended family gatecrashing my time with dh

[NotGoing]

I've namechanged incase anyone I know sees this and I make a fool of myself.

Dh and I rarely see each other anymore due to the way we have to work and our relationship is suffering a little, I found a martial arts class that we could go to, as something we could do together, with no children around so we could start spending some time together.

I went to the first session and it was good, was looking forward to going again. The next week arrived and as the babysitter arrived (dh's teenage sister), one of his other sisters (aged under 10) also turned up wanting to go with us. I made my excuses that I was ill (which was true but I was going to "get over it" to have our childfree hour together) and didn't feel up to going. I didn't feel it would be the same having another child to be responsible for.

So we were supposed to be going today and then dh tells me that this week he will be taking 4 of his siblings with us and as there will be no room in the car I will have to be dropped off early and wait (for over half an hour) until the rest of them turn up. So I declined to go again and I told dh that I had wanted this to be our time together without any kids so having four of them there and me spending over half an hour sitting in a reception room on my own kind of defeats the object.

Dh says I'm completely unreasonable because it's not like we're going to be alone anyway as there will obviously be other people there. I can't make him see that it doesn't matter if there are other people there, but it does matter if there are kids we will be responsible for there.

So now I look like I'm jealous of his family and am probably cutting my nose off to spite my face by not going at all. I probably am being completely unreasonable but am I really so wrong to want to have something that is "our thing" and not want it gatecrashed?

[ihearsounds]

Find something else to do on date night. This doesn't suggest date night to me, because well, not something where you are talking, and the car ride doesn't count.
How about a meal, a walk, pub, bowling, etc. Doesn't have to be once a week. We aim to go out at least once a month. Doesn't matter what we do but we both know because of communication that it is a child free zone.

[Pictureperfect]

Could you change to a different class, one that's not suitable for children. As others said if you arranges a sitter for your child why would you want to be taking other children at the same time!

[ImperialBlether]

But why should she go to a different class? She's not obliged to take someone else's children out with her! They've got a nerve asking.

[BlueSkySinking]

Maybe get your DH to take your kids out and you can have some time alone or with friends?

[Kleptronic]

What Hecate said. Say that to him, maybe he'll get it then.

[BackforGood]

I agree with some of the others, there is considerable scope in the activity, for him not to realise it was a 'date night', to be fair.
If you want to go to something to have a bit of time away from your own children, and time to talk with your dh, then there must be 101 things you can do that mean you can actually talk while you are there, and where other peoples children wouldn't be. I mean, to be fair, if the children want to go to karate classes, it's not really for either of you to say they can't (although I realise the whole taking you then coming back for them bit sounds OTT).