I don't know if it's just me being rubbish but I am finding it so so so bloody hard. 
My baby has just turned one and i've gone back to work full time. I say "gone back" but actually it's a new (quite stressful) job, with a commute. DH is also working full time. My baby is in nursery and that's OK - he's settling in well when he's there. But at home he clings to me like a desperate little limpet and wails if I have to put him down, which is heartrending and at the same time maddening.
Often I don't get home from work until 7pm when he's just going to bed. I'm still breastfeeding morning and night, and now frequently throughout the night - which I think is down to my baby's new separation anxiety. He just won't settle for DH at all.
My house is a tip which makes me depressed just to look at. Today I seem to be starting with a blocked milk duct or (hope not) mastitis, because I didn't have time to express at work. I'm also getting over a bug that DS picked up at nursery (par for the course I know). I just feel like quitting. I love my career and know that I am not cut out to be a full time mum, but my god, I didn't expect it to be this hard. Success in my field depends on meeting certain kinds of performance targets, and I just don't see how I can do that. I'm struggling just to stay afloat.
Am I being unreasonable? My mother thinks I'm just (i'm paraphrasing) lazy and need to toughen up. She's a bit of an old cow so I'm not taking her too seriously, but it has got me wondering.
AIBU?
To think working F/T with a baby is REALLY HARD?
JacqueslePeacock · 09/10/2012 20:33
Yanbu! I only cope with a cleaner and now that DC is at school an au pair. It does get easier. It got easier when she started sleeping through (age 3 
) and when I started to get Dh to pull his weight more with picking DC up from nursery once a week. My mother also preaches to me but she never worked and had a full time cleaner.
It is soooo hard. Its one of the reasons why after having dc3 I have decided not to go back.
The house-mess thing is very hard, I was surprised how much this happened and how much it bothered me. I realised that it is a lot easier to keep on top of washing etc when you're there all day. Def get a cleaner/ironer if you can.
All babies go through separation anxiety at around 12 months. Mine clings to me all the time and I'm a sahm!
It will get easier though. Focus on getting tthrough a week at a time and countdown to your next holiday 
I was four days, but in a pretty full on job.
Just a few thoughts and ideas:
- any way you could tweak your baby's day to a 7.30 bedtime? Some won't accept it, but many will. If you can get them waking a bit later in the morning, you can get ready quicker, and if they are a up a little bit when you get back, you get to do bath and stories, which can really help reconnect. I never got back before about 6.45, and lots of the mums I worked with did this.
-Yes, get a cleaner. Definitely!
- Batch cook. The freezer is your friend, and it takes no more time to cook four portions of bolagnese than one, etc. Shop online.
-Ensure that you are delegating. By which I mean, when nursery or babysitter is dealing with a task, let them make unimportant decisions as well as implementing, e.g. choosing pjs, not you laying them out.
-Ensure that your DH is an equal decision making partner in the home and with your son, not someone you delegate to. That said, having jobs each of you have 'ownership' of helps. Does he do much around the house?
-Do not take all responsibility for covering illness, etc. You both have to cover that type of stuff. My only caveat is that, if you are in anew job, your DH might need to take the lion's share for a few months.
The first couple of months are hardest. You will get there.
Have you considered an Au-Pair? (If you have a spare bedroom?) or a mothers help! They're cheaper, they do some cleaning, some cooking, they babysit a little in the evenings/weekends.
I was an Au-Pair when I was younger & would love to have one now what with trying to juggle children at 2 schools, after school activities every day, back chat from the children, homework & play dates!
Go through that ironing pile and say to yourself "Does it really need ironing?" Bedding/Towels/Underwear/ does NOT need ironing. Fold things properly when dry or hang them straight away, you'll soon realize that not everything needs ironing. Shirts/skirts/Trousers yes but not jumpers, pjs, t-shirts etc. (Try it!)
Get DH to do some housework while you get DC into bed? Once you've established a routine that works for you you'll be fine. Pro-Plus helped me for a while! 
Yanbu, I totally know how you are feeling, I went back to work work full time ( but work a day at home a week) in may and since then I feel like all I do is rush around and to make things worse my DD 14months who has slept through the night since 8 weeks has now decided to wake at 1am and 4am!!! I am more tired now then when she was little... Hopefully things will get better, roll on half term
Yes YoullLaugh, I guess we only moved to our new place 2 months ago so there hasn't been any time for dirt to accumulate
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