AIBU to enter the London Marathon when DH doesn't want me to?

[Loueytb3]

I'm turning 40 next April and for some insane reason, I thought it would be a good idea to do the London Marathon which is shortly before my birthday. I love running, but have never done anything longer than 10 miles.

DH is adamant I shouldn't do it. He thinks the training will be too much and it is selfish to even consider it (I think he also thinks I'm going to drop dead during the race?)

So, WIBU to enter anyway? I think I would only seriously have to start training after Christmas, so 4 months or so of solid training. From what I can tell (please someone correct me if I'm wrong), its mostly going to impact at the weekend as I will need to do one longer run a week and realistically this is going to have to be at the weekend. The other runs I should be able to fit in during the day around work.

(I haven't got a place btw, but would try and get a charity place if possible.)

[PoppyWearer]

I see your DH's point of view, because my DH entered the London Marathon the April after our DC1 was born. He then spent every weekend, when we had a small baby, doing long training runs. I wasn't exactly happy about it. It was hard work for me. Although I am proud he's done it.

Can you plan some respite Childcare for your DH whilst you're doing the training runs, draft in some family or friends to help with the DCs so he gets a break too?

[madwomanintheattic]

Every weekend doing long training runs? He was taking the piss, poppy. It might have been quite nice for him to get out of the house, but not essential to complete a marathon.

Nancy, my longest ever training run was 17 miles. Beyond that, it's mostly mental resilience. I used to do a long run on a Sunday morning. In fact, quite often, dh would come with me and would cart kids in buggies etc, dogs on leads. He would walk a set loop, and I would run. Then he would go home, and I would do another circuit or two, and then follow him. If he was in the mood, he might even tag team for a bit and we'd swap kids and dogs.

If you get the timing right (and not milk it like poppy's dh) then it can be relatively unobtrusive.

[GobblersKnob]

If you are serious you need to start hunting for a charity place NOW, they are already few and far between. Personaly I think the £1500 ish you will have to raise to enter is far harder than the training.

[Bue]

My DH did it in 2009. I was fully supportive, but honestly, I would be very unhappy if he entered another one and he knows this. He would disappear for half a day every Sunday, when we didn't exactly have heaps of time together to begin with, and I found he was then so exhausted that he needed a lot of emotional support from me. Luckily the one time cured the bug!

[TheVipperofVipp]

Do you have to do it next year OP? Why not do a half and/or a 20 miler next year, give your achilles problem plenty of time to heal, see if you get in through the ballot for 2014 (or give yourself more time to fundraise for a charity place - I had to raise £2,000 when I did it, was an extra mental stress factor on something that's already mentally taxing), give yourself more time to train, prove to your DH you can handle the training, get him used to the idea, etc? I guess I'm saying it could potentially be an even better experience with a longer build up to 2014 rather than rush for next spring with many things to worry about (getting place/fundraising/achillles injury/DH's attitude etc)?

[Dozer]

The training,and the stuff that goes with it (food organisation, recovery, help if you get injured from physio, getting the right trainers etc) is a massive time and energy commitment, plus fundraising. During the training period it'd be impossible for your DH to have equal leisure time or indeed any!

YWBU to do it before doing a shorter race, loads of good half marathons in fun locations, eg London Parks, Great North Run, coastal routes.

[MurderOfProse]

I did one a few years ago with two young DC. Runs during the week were easy to slot in. The weekend run we'd often all be at home one day of the weekend anyway, and as he worked full time during the week I figured it was good for him to be alone with the children for a few hours.

Most training plans start at the beginning of January. I have to admit I didn't adhere to mine very well, but I ran 92% of it (thanks, Garmin!) so not too shabby - could have done better if my hip wasn't playing up. And I managed a 20 mile run without stopping in training. I'd not run more than a few hundred yards for twenty years when I'd started the training nine months earlier, so with your headstart of already being able to cover a fairly hefty distance you should have no problems. I was up to around ten miles by January but I'd only done it once or twice.

The long runs are only a few hours for the first few months of solid training. From what I recall you only need to do 3 or 4 runs of at least 15 miles, so realistically that's only a few weekends where you might use half the day. My longest run took four hours. Not a huge commitment for your DH really.

Of course if you're wanting to do a sub 4 hour or something there would be a lot more training, but if your aim is just to get round, with minimal if any walking, then the training doesn't have to be a full time job. Perhaps that would be a good compromise? You say you'll do it, but not aim to beat Gordon Ramsay or something. Generalising massively, but it does tend to be the men going for the times and the women just wanting the satisfaction of finishing (preferably in a reasonable time), which may account for the disparity in apparent commitment to training.

The hardest battle is fighting injury, I lost a lot of training due to not wanting to make things worse. Oh, and the fundraising, but for marathons especially people will surprise you. Makes a nice change from friends walking their way round 5Ks dressed in pink pompoms after all!

DH started running as a result of all my running, I guess I inspired him, so he has a new hobby :) He runs far more than me these days!

I think it's a fab idea but I'm a bit biased of course..

[Urbanvoltaire]

I've not read all the posts so what I'm might have already been said, apologies in advance.

I've been doing 10k-1/2 marathons for about 2 years, building up my distances according to what races I've entered.

I always do a long run on a Sunday mid morning (have to eat then digest breakfast), at least an hour if not more. When I get home I've to shower, wash hair, have something to eat and sort out washing of kit etc. I then oversee homework (aged 5&10) then prepare lunch for kids.

All easy going as we don't really plan much for a Sunday (that's what Saturdays are for hence homework & domestic chores).

BUT ..... by mid-afternoon I'm pretty shattered and end up falling asleep in bed for at least an hour and if I don't, I nod off in armchair and am generally grumpily tired for the rest of the day.

So in reality an long-ish run really affects the whole day. Plus I also like to get to bed early on the Sat eve which might knock out your social life a bit?

Anyway, hope this helps & good luck with your running!

[DrCoconut]

It's great that you are seriously considering this. I see that it will be a big undertaking but unless it hugely impacts on him your DH should support you. It's not as if you will permanently be training for a marathon after all. I'm considering what will basically amount to a marathon for what would have been my dad's 100th birthday in 2017. It would be recreating a feat of his sports wise and getting sponsored. But I'm the most unsporty person ever and have no idea if I can how long to allow to get fit enough.

[Loueytb3]

I wouldn't say I could comfortably run 10 miles, it was hard! But that was with a lot less training behind me (it was a few years ago) and now I run faster and do longer training runs for fun.

Part of me thinks it would be stupid to do it next year with an injury now. But part of me thinks if I don't then I won't do it. Its the psychology of doing it before I'm 40 I think. Call me deluded.

I really want to do London as I live there and it would mean a lot to me to do that one, rather than one in a city I don't know. I think it would give me an extra boost when I'm struggling.

I'm not that worried about raising £1500 - I managed to raise over £1000 when I did the Great South Run, partly because my work will match the amount raised. I would hope that with a lot of badgering cajoling, I can persuade more people to donate.

I'm not fussed about getting a quick time, I just want to get round, hopefully running the whole way. Both my sisters have done marathons (one of them is a very good runner, did it in 3hrs 15) so I can get lots of advice from them.

I will have a look at half marathons near me but realistically I'm not going to be able to do one until nearer Christmas to make sure the injury heals properly. I guess if I have a place and then get injured I can defer until the following year??

[BlueSkySinking]

I've just completed a half marathon and I've looked into this too - different marathon though.

I would say you need to work up to doing a 12 mile run every other weekend and then also the weekends in between run longer, building up to the 3 hour mark. Mid week, aim for 3 runs lasing about an hour, one or two of which should be quite quick.

[TheVipperofVipp]

Well then, you sound pretty determined (which is great, because motivation is the most essential part), have a charity in mind with places, have a plan to raise the sponsorship (agree with a previous post that people can be v generous for marathon sponsorship), and can get ready advice on training from your sisters. You are also right that running London if you live in London is really really special - you will have the experience of a lifetime .

So it really is just about getting your DH on board with this then, isn't it (because it will be so much easier if he is)? You need to explain to him why this is important to you, that you've researched the training, etc, that you can do this and you need his support.
Lots and lots of luck.

[howdoo]

I'm about to do my first marathon in about a month, so am at the most time intensive part of the training. My total training will be 16 weeks. Initially your long run each week could almost be done before the household gets up. But in the middle of training, your long run each week will be 2 hrs, going up to 3 plus hrs, for at least 9 weeks. Could you agree to leave v early on a Saturday? If you went at 7am, at least you could be back by 10/10.30 at the latest.

[Nancy66]

how far are you from work.

I was able to do a lot of my training just by running to and from the office

[Loueytb3]

15 miles to work - it's a bit far to run and then go to work! I have got off the tube a few stops early and run though. It's harder in the winter because of the logistics of making sure I have a winter coat to go home in.

[Loueytb3]

Howdoo - yes I could agree to go at 7am on Saturday.

Bluesky - when you say a quick 1 hr run - how quick do you mean? I do 10k in just under an hour.

[Joiningthegang]

Ydnbu - you eill probably have more energy while traiing and is an investment in your health
I can understand you dh may have concerns re the time it may take up - but sounds lile you have already considered these

Am i the only one who can't recall ever having asked my dh for "permission" for anything?

[Loueytb3]

I wasn't asking permission - I think I said something along the lines of "I'm thinking about doing a marathon" and he said "over my dead body"

[glasscompletelybroken]

Louey I often say I ran the London marathon "inspite" of my (ex) husbands best efforts. People would assume he was supportive but actually the whole training felt like a battle sometimes. Still worth it though - without a doubt.

[Loueytb3]

I've applied to run for the miscarriage association this morning. Haven't yet told DH but will blame you lot for persuading me to do it Of course, I might not get a place.

[Nanny0gg]

Just get a running magazine, or look online and follow a training programme. That is a must. And become best friends with your physio. But it will take up a lot of your time.
One of my DCs did it - it was an amazing experience and I'm so glad we went to watch.

[madwomanintheattic]

Wooooo! Good luck, fingers crossed you get a place. Do they announce their runners on a specific date, or just confirm as they apply?

[lovelyredwine]

My DH has just run a marathon and started training in January. He didn't start doing really long runs until the last 2 months or so and these were only at weekends. He did his weekday runs before work, so was getting up at 5.45 ish 3 days a week. At weekends he did his runs when our dd was having a nap so it didn't impact on our lives too much. It does take a lot of commitment- there is no way I'd be off for an 8 mile run at 5.45 but there we go!

I think it's a great achievement and would love to do it one day, but sleep is too precious at the moment! Good luck.

[Loueytb3]

I think I should find out quite soon. I found them through a clearing site for charities who still have places. Fingers crossed!

[Loueytb3]

Shit - I got a place!!!!!

I'd better tell DH now