to tell 3yo DD where babies come out of?

[ditsydoll]

My DD is very inquisitive and understands all about where babies live and that they start as eggs (left out the part about how the egg turns into a baby as that's just tmi and completely not age appropriate obviously) but she asked today.. mummy, when the baby is ready to come out, how does it get out.

I kind of skirted around the answer and changed the subject. I don't want to lie to her abd give her sone crap about babies coming out of belly buttons etc, and I know its probably frowned upon for me to tell my 3yo DD that babies have to come out of their mummys front bottoms, but how do I answer this without lieing to her?

[wannabedomesticgoddess]

I havent lied due to embarrassment. I have no problem telling her and saying vagina and sperm and penis and all the other terms necessary.

I just dont class it as an important conversation to have at 3.

Roght now I am more concerned about preparing for the birth of my 2nd and how that will impact on her emotionally. She is used to being the centre of attention and she is going to find it hard.

Just because I chose to simplify things to my 3yo does not mean I am embarrassed or need to grow up.

[peeriebear]

It's not hard to just say "Boys have a hole for wee and a hole for poo, and girls have a hole for wee, one for poo and another one between where the baby comes out" (what I said to my DDs)
Good grief, to telling children babies come out of bums...

[Zara1984]

Errr wannabe I was told by my mother that babies came out of my bum at about 3, and I was then TERRIFIED (until my nursery school friends and me asking my brother set me right) that a baby would come out of my bum every time I went for a poo.

Obviously it's your choice about what you tell your DC but I think you should just be straight with her.... it's very easy for kids to get confused if you're vague (well at least I did ).

I think the suggested explanations given by some of the other posters here are nice and straightforward. It's nothing to do with "innocence"...!

[wannabedomesticgoddess]

Errrr

FGS. I am hiding this thread.

Im almost sure that on MN everyone is entitled to their own opinion. And to make their own choices regarding their children.

[Badgerina]

wannabe the issue is not whether you've had "the talk" with her or not though, is it. You say you've told her that babies come out of mummy's bum. If you're so strapped for time, why make the time to tell her something so weird?

I agree, if she hasn't asked, then you don't necessarily have to tell her anything, but telling her the "bum" story kind of goes against everything else you've said so far (no time, protect her innocence).

[Badgerina]

Cross posted. Yes by all means hide the thread. Everyone here is indeed entitled to their own opinion.

[neverquitesure]

I used something very similar to valiumredhead's 3-hole (or operation) explanation for 2.5 year old DD and nearly 4 year old DS.

DS is most disappointed he doesn't have one and asked me to check and make sure. We have a heavily pregnant friend, so babies are very topical at the moment.

By the way, innocence is defined along the lines of 'freedom from sin or moral wrong through lack of knowledge of evil'. Maybe just a poor choice of word, but it does make me feel uncomfortable when people use it with relation to children being 'protected' from learning about their bodies.

[RubyStolenBootyGates]

I had to have this conversation on a bus journey one wet morning on the way to Nursery. It lesd on naturally from the school chickens and their eggs, and how you need a "daddy hen" to make eggs with chicks in.

It all went downhill from there really. I'm sure some of the other mums on the bus really didn't want their children to hear the conversation but he wouldn't be deterred and I think I managed to deliver the truth without scarring DS2 for life, sniggering, or upsetting the other children too much.

Not one of my favourite moments.

[MistressIggi]

As both my dcs were borm by c section ds's answer to this question would be "the doctor cuts a hole in your tummy anf takes the baby out". I suppose I should tell him there are other ways!

[DesperatelySeekingPomBears]

I never asked DM until, at 6, my 7yo friend told me the facts of life as his DF had told him. I listened in horrified silence and still remember him finishing off with "and then the man wees white wee into the lady's bum...". I absolutely freaked out and poor DM had to correct everything I'd been told. So yes, when these questions arise, honesty is definitely the best policy.

[Badgerina]

By the way, innocence is defined along the lines of 'freedom from sin or moral wrong through lack of knowledge of evil'. Maybe just a poor choice of word, but it does make me feel uncomfortable when people use it with relation to children being 'protected' from learning about their bodies.

Quite. Particularly when it always seems to be mostly little girls who are being "protected" from learning about their genitalia. Having a penis and testicles is so much more obvious and seemingly accepted. Just because female genitalia is "hidden" by virtue of physicality, doesn't mean it should be hidden from our knowledge.

Why beat around the bush?

[Rubirosa]

Why would you tell a child that babies come out of your bum? Why?? I cannot for the life of me see how believing babies come out of the same hole as poo is more innocent than knowing that there's a special baby hole

[Meglet]

mistress yes, my dc's were both sections. So they know babies usually come out of vagina's but it went a bit wrong with them and they were caesareans.

Telling a child a baby comes out a bottom is like telling them you breathe out of your ears.

[WhereMyMilk]

I told DD when she was 3-she asked about my section scar when DS was born, but I told her that many women give birth via their foofoo(name in our house at the time)

She thought that was HILARIOUS! She roared with laughter for ages, then announced that she couldn't wait for daddy to come so she could tell him THAT joke! :o

[Bobyan]

I'm actually shocked that reproduction is considered to be something to lie about in order to maintain a child's "innocence".
There's nothing wrong with knowing how your own body works and I'm sure if more children where told the truth with an open and on going dialogue the UK teen pregnancy rate wouldn't be the worst in Europe.

[MistressIggi]

I didn't know I had a vagina till my age was in double figures (Also a bit at total lack of sex ed from school or home).

[Badgerina]

I'm sure if more children where told the truth with an open and on going dialogue the UK teen pregnancy rate wouldn't be the worst in Europe

That's about the long and short of it really. I totally agree.

[anditwasallyellow]

Personally I'd tell her someone earlier put it very well, ladies have 3 holes one for poo one for wee and one for a baby.

I've been talking to ds about babies since he could talk and telling him he came from my tummy, what I didn't expect was when one day he said ' you can't eat me anymore though because I'm too big', never occured to me that he actually thought I'd eaten him and that's how he got in there.

[Psammead]

2.9 year old DD knows that babies come out of a woman's vagina after growing in a special part of her tummy. I don't see any reason for her not to know this.

[BlueSkySinking]

I have had both natural births and a -Section. I have always been honest about who came from where and the eldest takes great joy in not coming out of my vagina. Just keep it factual and basic

[HeadfirstForHalos]

How does believing a baby comes out of your bumhole like a turd make a child innocent? A baby coming out of a bum is so much nicer isnt it? Classic

[Badgerina]

The eldest takes great joy in not coming out of my vagina

Haha! I can remember my brother and I laughing about the fact that we came out of our mum's vagina

[Nanny0gg]

I was traumatised at the age of 10 by misinformation about where babies come out. (Those were the days of 'innocence') and it took me a long time to get over it (couldn't discuss it with my mum).
Either tell nothing or if you're not wanting to go into too much detail, keep it accurate. Wrong information can be very scary.