To STILL be embarassed 2 weeks later (Firemen related)

[OMGwhyohwhy]

Hi Ive namecanged as IRL this is TOTALLY identifiable (sp??)

Two weeks ago I was just about to turn in for the night when I decided to put into our loft a large piece of loft flooring.

2.4m by 80cm or so.

I stood on the ladder and got DS1 (13) to help me.

All was going well untill the board went past the "tipping point" at which point it over balanced and trapped me.

I had started the whole thing wrong and so ended up facing backwards on the loft ladder with the (bloody rather heavy) board trapping my neck against the lost hatch surround.

NOT a good situation to be in. I was carrying the weight of the loft board and was slipping further and further down so was getting more and more trapped.

The DCs got my nephew round to help but when he moved the board it just trapped me futher.

Que calls to 999 and me shouting from the loft to their request for an ambulance " I AM breathing, do NOT send a paramedic !!!"

Soooooo, much to my relief the firemen arrived and I am quickly freed.

TWO engines ( shame , shame) and a paramedic car ( double shame)

BUT........

and here is my AIBU fot STILL cringing every time I think of it.

I was wearing my swimming costume .

Im just cringing as I sit here, sigh ... will it EVERY go away

[NonAstemia]

Very very funny OP! That just got my morning off to a happy start, the cucumber remark being the cherry on the cake - that's just the kind of remark I'd make and then cringe about afterwards.

Also laughed very hard at the image of D0G waving like a loon while her DS sat deadpan in the back.

There's just something about firemen, isn't there. Many years ago I lived in a top floor (2nd) flat and my large burmese python escaped out of the window and onto the flat roof above. We eventually had to call the fire brigade to help get him down (although none of them would pick him up so I had to go up their big ladder with a big burly fireman right behind me and put him in a bag which they winched down). There was a middle aged lady living in the flat below who was out at work at the time. Someone must have told her (we lived opposite a pub and it'd drawn out the lunchtime crowd to watch) because she came charging upstairs in the evening and knocked on the door. I thought she was going to freak out about living underneath the snakes but she said
"I understand there were firemen here today to rescue your snake?"
"Yes" I replied nervously
"I'm going to give you my work number... if that ever happens again I want you to phone me at work immediately and let me know. Ok? Can you do that?"

"Okaaaay..." says I, confused. She handed me the piece of paper, looked me meaningfully in the eye and said
"I like firemen. They give me sticky knickers."

She was an odd woman (clearly!) - she used to have a much younger man regularly visit, have very very loud sex at around 4 in the morning, and then... this is the odd bit... always hoover for at least ten minutes afterwards. We speculated endlessly about this (I was a teenager and we were often up sitting around stoned out of our heads at that time with friends still round) but it remained a mystery.

[2kids2dogsnosense]

This is priceless! I thought I was the only one who ridiculous things happened to, but I have a sister in idiocy. Way to go, girl.

(When I used to recount my daft doings at work, people would just look at me as though I were mad. I began one story with - "I knocked myself out again last night" and everyone was going "Again? AGAIN?" NOT ONE OF THEM HAD EVER KNOCKED THEMSELVES OUT! I couldn't believe it - without even thinking about it I can name a double handful of occasions that I have rendered myself unconscious. If I searched my memory properly, I could probably come up with a score.

It does, however, explain why I am so dippy - there must be little blank bits all over my brain.)

[drummerswife]

brilliant op
made my day reading this thread

[MammaTJ]

Aw, thank you so much for sharing that. No YANBU!! So funny though!!

[SkivingAgain]

Another thank you for OMG and to MN for bringing this to my attention.

[Queenofcake]

OMG!! I am laughing soooooooooooo much!! Your tale of woe has really cheered me up.

Have to say - I think maybe you shouldnt have said anything at all if it was only references to cucumbers you could make!

[TheFarSide]

[itsMYNutella]

Ahhahahahahahahaha!! Sorry OP but thank you MN for putting this in the round up.

Laughed so hard I was crying on the keyboard... ahhh brilliant. Thank you!

[lovebunny]

thank you for that lovely story! i'm glad you weren't further harmed. don't worry about the firemen - it will be one of their happier rescues.

[DMCWelshCakes]

Thank you MNHQ for bringing this to my attention via the Talk Roundup.

And thank you OP for your selfless devotion to lunacy and comedy anecdotes.

[klaxon]

I must be the only person who heard the opening scenario and thought loft diving board wasn't I?

[rainydaysarebad]

Hahahahaha!! Luckily I swallowed my coffee sip before reading you reading you were in a swimming costume!! Oh the shame!

[Cutelittlecatlover]

HAHAHAHAHA!!!

Op you are a fucking legend

[JamieandTheOlympicTorch]

This is the beginning of a very strange porno

[OlaRapaceFru]

I managed to put this out of my mind this morning, whilst at work (and we're not allowed 'internet misuse'). Has anyone asked MNHQ to move it into Classics yet?

[BiddyPop]

OK, having read the entire thread and not just the first post - THANK YOU!!!

I have actually had to use a wadge of tissues to cover up the laughter and snorting, and mop up the flood of the tears (and I have a single use office - but the door is open to the corridor). I sdon't think I have been so uncontrollably responsive to a thread before. And it is much needed.

The cucumber was bad enough, by the time I got to the plaited hair, I was trying not to fall off my chair.

[BiddyPop]

Our next door neighbour had a small chimney fire a few years back - and did admit that she was quite happy with the big burly firemen coming to her assistance. She hasn't lived it down since though, as the rest of the neighbours bring it up regularly in our backgarden BBQs or shared kitchen suppers (we're a sociable road)....I think the rest of the ladies are jealous, while the gents get a great laugh from it all.

[Eskarina]

Now I feel almost normal that the postman saw me starkers through the window in the sleep deprived hell that was the first few weeks of dd's life!

[Fecklessdizzy]

Oh, that's perfect ...

And in answer to your OP Nope, it never ever will ...

[MaisyMooCow]

Thanks for making me

[MeKathryn]

So funny!

Will have to tell dh as it makes his fire engine story seem very tame so he'll be less embarrassed.

[Fillybuster]

"cucumber"



Genius.

Another vote for Classics.

I luff MN when we get threads like these :)

Thank you OP :) :)

[Birnamwood]

Can someone link to bob the spray painted pigeon please?

Op, thank you for that laugh and I think you should definitely send that cake...:)

[5inthebed]

Bloody hell, have just stopped laughing. Funniest thread I've read in a while.

Please, tell me who you really are on MN

[marshmallowpies]

I trapped myself in my bedroom on Xmas eve (the door handle came off in my hand & I lived on my own then) & had to contemplate calling the fire brigade when I couldn't find a locksmith prepared to come and get me out.

The fire brigade would have broken a window to get me out & I didn't want to leave the flat with a broken window over Xmas (I was going away for 2 nights) so pleaded with a locksmith until he agreed to come and get me.

The bit no one knows (except DH who has heard this story) - I was so desperate for a wee I weed into a plastic bottle I luckily had in the room, standing over a towel to catch any overflow.

I thank my lucky stars I had my phone in the room with me that night!