AIBU to expect dh to eat if he's hungry?

[theredsalamander]

This is a l

[theredsalamander]

Squeaky a fair few friends have said the same about their menfolk. I hadn't thought about actually getting a check up for diabetes - wil mention that to him.

[squeakytoy]

Blimey.. I thought you were describing my husband. He is EXACTLY the same, and the hungrier he gets, the grumpier he gets. He is also too bloody lazy to make himself anything to eat... and if I offer to make him something (purely to avoid putting up with the grumpiness) he says he is fine and doesnt expect me to cook for him.. (he admits he is a lazy git, and in fairness genuinely does not expect me to rush after him feeding him.. ) but I will go in the kitchen, make him a quick sandwich, and shove it in front of him.. he will then say "I told you I didnt want anything", but always eats it, and always admits he feels better almost immediately after eating too.

I am nagging him to get a diabetes check at the moment, as it does run on both sides of his family.

[BibiBlocksberg]

PDT i used to call it - pre-dinner tension :) effing annoying though, nevertheless!

[substantiallycompromised]

YANBU my dh behaves as if someone has died if he has to miss a meal or it is late or not what he wanted ie if we just have soup, cheese and crackers (once in a blue moon). It is a little wearing as our life seems to be dominated by food and it takes a lot of time to continually shop, prepare, clear up.

On the positive side though , he cooks a lot

And to be fair to him, he is huge so there is a lot to fill.

[eurochick]

salamander he doesn't need to avoid all carbs, just the simple ones. Sticking with oats, brown rice, wholemeal pasta should give him the energy for running whilst helping with the hunger/blood sugar issues. There are loads of low GI eating guides on t'internet. I don't follow it in a pernickity way - just avoid white carbs and anything obviously sugary most of the time (I lapse occasionally of course) and try to have protein with carbs (so nuts with fruit, etc).

[eurochick]

Lucozade or anything similarly sugary will just make things worse (although I know it seems like a quick fix - I did similar myself for years). You end up on a blood sugar rollercoaster with lots of peaks and troughs. You need to try to smooth it out. Otherwise your pancreas will just give up one day and you will be diabetic.

I am quite evangelical about this. I feel a lot better now I am not on that rollercoaster anymore. Reading that book was a revelation.

[nomoreheels]

I had terrible low blood sugar issues for years. I used to panic if I had to work past my usual lunch hour as I'd get irritable, break out in cold sweat & be incapable of concentrating. It was awful. There were times when I'd stuff myself with any carb in sight - bread, chocolate or biscuits etc - until I felt the red mist ease up.

When I fell P it eased up, no idea why. My GTT tests were normal & nurse told me low blood sugar is not connected to diabetes. I did wonder if it was PCOS, but never had any medical help for it so no diagnosis. It seems to have fully gone now thanks to avoiding white bread & white carbs (potatoes, white sugar etc) I will have them once in a while, but they are gone from my everyday diet. I use a bit of Splenda for my coffee and only eat Burgen bread which is low GI.

However he really needs to take charge here. I never expected anyone to manage my LBS but me. DP can tell when it's coming on & knows that I have to have food, fast - but he knows I will say I need it & deal with it. Though thankfully it seems to be sorted now!

[worraliberty]

i nealy called myself FackingWoodenSquiwwel after Nan so love your name!

Ahh gotcha! I'm so going to be that Nan when I have GCs

[theredsalamander]

Onlyaphase- that's it exactly. He's an adult, so should deal with it. But I honestly believe there is some chemical thang going on which alters his ability to some extent.

[theredsalamander]

He does a lot of running = highish carb intake. Will get him to review his requirements!

Patricia- its sooo annoying isn't it. I just don't get why, if he's feeling grumpy, he doesn't try and STOP feeling grumpy. If I'm feeling rubbish it isn't, by definition, pleasant and so i will try and remedy the situation. Simple equation in my mind but oh no not to dh! The red fog has descended! I of course feel superior to him now as I am able to control myself.

Worryingly both ds's (6 and 3) are following this trend.

[Onlyaphase]

Can you video him so he can see his behaviour before eating and afterwards? Then explain you are not his mother and he is an adult and should be able to look after himself?

[theredsalamander]

Eurochick- yes he is a big fan of carbs. There is diabetes in his family and I has often wondered whether the fact that his blood sugar plays such a big part in his mood from hour to hour indicated some sort if predisposition to diabetes. Will go and have a google on insulin resistance- thanks!

[LoveInAColdClimate]

I was also going to suggest Lucozade. Shamingly, I am just like your DH but also can't spot that I'm hungry . I will only realise when I eat something and immediately feel awful about my previous behaviour. If I notice, though (big if) Lucozade is a good quick fix.

[PatriciaHolm]

Are you married to my husband?!!

I get very annoyed too. I think at the grand old age of 41 he should be well aware of how he behaves if hungry, so should a. eat frequently and b. deal with it!

[theredsalamander]

Oh lawksamercy I did it again! Bloody iPhone and landscape typing
i nealy called myself FackingWoodenSquiwwel after Nan so love your name!

[eurochick]

Oooo, this sounds very familiar. I was like that for years. It was always particularly bad if I was out from home and forgot to eat. I would get very irritable and my head would start spinning. Eating would remedy it very quickly although I would be left feeling a bit odd for a few hours after getting very hungry.

I have PCOS (this is relevant - keep reading!), diagnosed years ago before much was known about the condition and it was thought of as a pure gynae issue and the interraction with other hormones (including insulin) was not well known. A friend mentioned she was on a PCOS diet and recommended the book she got it from to me. The book is about the condition in general and I read about the symptoms you described and learnt that they indicate insulin resistance. I had no idea it had a name or that it wasn't normal - it was normal for me! I now eat a low(ish) GI diet and feel hungry in my stomach rather than my head. It was a revelation. I had no idea that hunger was supposed to feel like that.

Although mine is linked to PCOS, men can be affected by insulin resistance too. Your husband should try eating lower GI food and cutting down on refined sugar. Not only will he feel better, but insulin resistance is often a precursor to type II diabetes so he should do his best to get it under control. Basically the pancreas overworks to pump out lots of insulin when he eats something sugary which sends his blood sugar too low, he gets hungry and grumpy, eats something sugary or with refined carbs and the whole cycle starts again with his pancreas working overtime.

PS - I bet he loves carbs, right?

[cheesesarnie]

i do the same as your dh
i dont ever feel hungry but notice when my mood/concentration dips.

[worraliberty]

The mind boggles!!

[theredsalamander]

Worraliberty I nearly called myself FacWoodenSquiwwel

[HappySeven]

I have to admit I can be a bit like that and I know several diabetics who have acted very out of character and violently when their blood sugar is low so maybe he really can't help it? Can understand how annoying it is for you though!! Sounds like you deal with it well.

[ChaoticAngeloftheUnderworld]

YANBU I get cranky when I get hungry but I don't blame anyone else for it. He needs to take responsibility for his moods and make himself something to eat when he starts feeling hungry.

[OpenMouthInsertFoot]

Am I right in thinking that when your blood sugar plummets it affects your judgement, so by the time he's grumpy, he might not be clear enough to be physically able to think it through and realise what's the matter?

But he shouldn't let himself get into that state (if that's the case and I'm not imagining symptoms ) by ensuring that he eats at regular intervals, to avoid the drop in the first place. And he should certainly take responsibility for this! Perhaps a talk about it (when he's ok of course) maybe a reminder beep set on his phone or something?

[Mandy2003]

Don't cloud the issue by feeding him. Just give him Lucozade to raise his blood sugar then he will be able to decide calmly whether he wants to eat or not.

[worraliberty]

YANBU

But I read your nickname as 'the red salad minder'

I was fully prepared at that point to say YABU...let him mind his own salad.

[theredsalamander]

Ahahahahahahah I like your ponderings more!!