to want to lamp the little seven year old shitbag who's torturing my special needs boy?

[SelinaKyle]

My ds is a beautiful, gorgeous, kind, gentle seven year old who wouldn't hurt a living soul and yet his school life is being made an absolute misery by this handsome, popular, sporty little shitbag. And it just makes me so fucking ANGRY because this little bastard has everything, and compared to him my ds has bloody nothing. So why can't he leave my gorgeous boy alone in his little make believe world in a corner of the playground and go play football with anyone of his scores of friends and followers instead of following my ds around and pushing him and calling him brainless?

[berylmuspratt]

Sorry to hear about your lovely boy being given a hard time :(
I would definitely deal with this through the school and not approach the parents.
As others have said, they could just give you a mouthful or try to shrug it off.

Have a lovely Summer at home and then see the Head in September and ask what the school are going to do to deal with this crappy situation.

[Megatron]

Agree it's great if you can maintain a good relationship with school but your sons safety comes first. I second making a nuisance of yourself if necessary and always put it in writing. It's what I had to do when my 7 year old DS had major problems with another 7 year old and yes he was a shitbag too. I feel so for your son and for you because I know how you feel.

[auroraday]

Ps don't apologise. I remember being 7, and some kids are shitbags.

[auroraday]

:( for you and your boy.
Agree with the other responses - get official with the school - I would make sure they really know how serious you are. If he is from the sort of background you describe then his parents will be pretty horrified (and either deniers, or will come down on him hard - hard to call but I hope it's the latter).

[picturelibrary]

Sorry - the other boy, not your other boy!

[picturelibrary]

The acting head sounds like an idiot!
Will your other boy be in the new school too?

[picturelibrary]

Sorry - x post

[picturelibrary]

Have you (or your ds) mentioned these problems to the school yet OP?

The other boy sounds like a complete horror, but I wouldn't rush to the school and tell them that they are failing in their duty of care and threaten legal action unless you have already brought the bullying to their attention.

I think it's really important to maintain a good relationship with your children's school - they want what's best for your child too.

[JamieAgain]

Anyone whose child has been bullied will understand you needing to vent.

[SelinaKyle]

Thank you everybody for the supportive words and I apologise to anybody who took offense at my rather inflammatory language. Part of the problem has been that he is moving up to a different school in September and I think the old school were just attempting to play a waiting game until they could palm him off to somebody else. I think the most irritating moment was seeing the acting Head in reception and having her raise her eyes skyward and smile ruefully as she greeted me as though to say "Oh, are you here again?"

[AppleHEAD]

If the school aren't responding in a way you want them to...
A. Speak to the Head
B. Write to the Chair of Governors
C. Find out who the schools Link Inspector is and telephone them.

Remain calm, be clear and to the point, don't say anything rash.
Try to keep a log of everything that has happened.
And keep on until they do something

[JamieAgain]

Also, the OP s child should not have to change anything about themselves to make this stop. The bullies need to do all the changing. All the OP can do is make sure her son has lovely experiences outside of school which boost his self-esteem

[JamieAgain]

I agree with what Allinabag said.

But I don't mean that you should care much about the children who are bullying - you are angry and that anger should carry you along to defend your son.

[JamieAgain]

Keep on at the school. I feel your pain OP.

7 year olds can behave like bastards but you will be doing your son and potentially, this boy a service if you get the school to take it very seriously. IMO 7 year olds don't behave like this for no reason, and whatever that reason is needs to be addressed. And the bullying needs to be stopped. Insist the school talks to this boy's parents

[Wormshuffler]

I wasn't giving advice, just spouting what I could see myself doing, and as I said, thankfully I have never been in that situation so have never done it!

[TheMagnificentBathykolpian]

Write to the school, tell them that by not ensuring that your son is protected from this boy, they are failing in their duty of care and if it is not sorted out at once, you will be taking legal advice.

That'll light a fire under em!

Duty of care

That's the phrase to throw at them.

[OrdinaryJo]

Don't lamp the kid, tempting though it is. Personally, I would put every single thing in a letter and post it to school today. I would add in the letter that you will be in to meet with HT, class teacher and playground supervisor on x time of the first day of term, or the first INSET day when the teachers are back to discuss this.

Then, as others have said, it is down to school every single day if that's what it takes to sort it out. I think though that if you write a letter today you may kind of get some closure, and then not spend the holidays stewing about it? It also means you won't forget anything!

Best of luck, my DS is exactly the same, so far it's been fine as they are only 5, but I'm anticipating this happening further down the line.

Do they have (older) playground buddies btw, because that really helped my DS in his first term, not in terms of bullying but just having someone he could talk to when if it all got a bit much?

[GwanShoooo]

i know you are angry, but there is no need to call a 7 year a bastard.

why not? some of them are nasty little so and so's. No doubt the bully in the OP will have some sob story that "makes" him behave this way

:( doesnt help the victims though does it

[JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar]

ffs 4 is old enough to know not to behave like this bully!

He's a shitbag.

YANBU to want to lamp him, but I'd strongly advise you not to

As soon as the school reopens get there and insist they sort this out. In the meantime have a lovely summer with your ds and when you're not doing that, take a mo to check out you school's anti-bullying policy (which will probably be on their website).

[timetoask]

as a mum to a lovely sn boy, I truly understand your frustation OP.
The sad thing is that this 7 year old shitbag will grow to be a fully grown shitbag and will continue to be a bully to those less strong than him if nobody stops him now.

take it up with the school please please please

[Allinabinbag]

I don't think seven year old boys are all just a product of their parents, but they are also at a very impressionable age where they actually need teaching right from wrong. They run in packs in the playground, and if they see that hurting someone else or calling them a name works, they carry on using their new-found power, often with others joining in. They need stopping in their tracks, and at that age, in most cases, being hauled up by the school and your parents and being sat on very very hard works (not literally, obviously!) He needs to be shown that what he has done is wrong, doesn't work, gets you into loads of trouble and makes your own life a misery.

Worm's advice is crap, and only likely to end up in you getting into a verbal or physical fight, as most people will defend their children even if they are in the wrong (or they may be quite bullying themselves).

If direct action is needed, then it should be your child sticking up for themselves against this boy. That doesn't sound possible, so you need to create an alliance, of you, your son and the school taking him seriously and defending him against this bully. That is much more powerful than creating an out of school feud you are unlikely to win (unless you really are the hardest mum in the playground).

I also felt very angry towards the little shit who hurt my child, but now I can see that actually, although he did the wrong thing, he is not actually a little shit but a seven year old boy who needed very firm direction, and he's not all bad at all. Even my children don't bear a grudge and like playing with him now. This is because I didn't let the situation develop but leapt on it like a ton of bricks. Whoever said go into the school on a daily basis til it is sorted is spot on.

[catgirl1976]

He sounds awful. In fact he sounds like a little bastard / shitbag (unsure why it is so for someone whose child is being bullied to say that about another child on a forum when they clearly wouldn't do it IRL, but there you go) .

Still he is only 7 so do try not to lamp him. Do what other posters have said and go in and see the school. Get his parents involved.

[OpinionatedPlusSprogs]

Could your son manage karate lessons? Seems to scare kids off.


Also take it up with the school. Some kids are just nasty and will only stop if they know they can't get away with it. Obviously lamping the little scrote is not an option.

[DoMeDon]

They have free will and know what they are doing, but they don't fall far from the tree IME.

Appreciate he is the one doing it, but he has either seen this behaviour or not been sanctioned for his behaviour at home. Parental responsibility cannot be over stated in the terms of DCs tendancies to be shits.