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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think it's normal for boys to help out at home?!

49 replies

jugofwildflowers · 13/07/2011 13:09

Ds age 5 went to a friend's house to play after school and had tea. After ds cleared away his plate and wanted to know where the dishwasher and compost bin was.

The mum was delighted and said she wished her boys would help out like that.

Eh?

Isn't it normal?!

OP posts:

eurochick · 13/07/2011 16:07

The mother needs to stop "wishing" (presumably for the child training fairy to arrive in her house?) and teach her kids to help. They are never going to do it otherwise.

My mother (59) still rails against my dad's mother for mummying him and never teaching him to do anything around the house. They have been married for about 35 years and she is still trying to retrain him. It isn't really working. Parents like that mother do everyone a disservice.

AMumInScotland · 13/07/2011 16:15

Yes she needs to do something about it, rather than wishing!

Meglet · 13/07/2011 16:18

I'm training my DS to help at home.

I don't want DS to end up like his father and incapable of picking up dirty laundry off the floor .

He's going to be a catch when he's older .

muminthemiddle · 13/07/2011 16:33

There are a lot of parents who don't train their sons up re housework, then they become a nightmare as adults waiting for others to clean up after them. I do think some parents expect more from girls. I make sure I tell all my 3 when I need their help.

exoticfruits · 13/07/2011 16:48

I don't think that it is anything to do with boys-a lot of people just think that it is mean to get DCs helping-either that or they find it easier to do it themselves. Much better to train DCs from an early age as a matter of course and then they just treat it as normal.

Original poster

jugofwildflowers · 13/07/2011 17:24

I also don't quite understand another (working) mum telling me before using the loo to be careful as her ds didn't always flush, he is a teenager!

OP posts:

pingu2209 · 13/07/2011 17:29

My boys fight over the 'jobs' to do in the house - putting the cuterly out on the table etc. They are also very proud when they help me with the tidying etc. They are 6 and 8.

Greenshadow · 13/07/2011 17:30

Am I the only one who finds it a bit strange that so many children these days are taught to clear their plate/cup etc away after a meal.

Sorry, but what a waste of resources. We pile all the plates up when everyone has finished. Then one person can clear all the plates while someone else clears serving dishes/glasses etc. or brings through the next course. Much more efficient.

AMumInScotland · 13/07/2011 17:32

I think it depends if you eat in the kitchen or not - clearing each thing to the side isn't as inefficient if you're not going to another room to do it.

Greenshadow · 13/07/2011 17:35

That is true Mum - we do eat in another room.

NearlyHeadlessnickelbabe · 13/07/2011 17:42

jug - not so convinced about the flushing thing - I don't flush when I've had a wee, usually (unless we have guests), mainly because it saves water.
I was taught this by my biology teacher when I was doing GCSEs - it was the Environment module.
I can see why a mother who doesn't follow this practice might not like it, but it does make more sense for the environment. (and the water table)

Greenshadow · 13/07/2011 17:57

With you on this Nearlyheadless. We 'let it mellow' in this house too.

Original poster

jugofwildflowers · 13/07/2011 18:07

Nearly, we're talking about poo!!

OP posts:

Curiousmama · 13/07/2011 18:09

Yes totally normal, ds2 is helping dp to decorate at the moment. DS1 is lazier but will do things when bribed

maypole1 · 13/07/2011 18:13

depends on the family culture we were brought up to be housewifes

cook
clean
sew , i can even knit and was expected to be able to look after a baby at a young age mean while my brother (20)cannot be trusted to watch my son who is 11 and cannot even make toast, he nearly burnt the house down .

and i dare say if my step mum went away for longer than a day and a night he would starve to death he dosent evan make his own drinks

my oh dose some house work but to be fair not lots and only every now and again

sausagesandmarmelade · 13/07/2011 18:17

Brilliant...

We had friends round last weekend...with a little girl.

Adorable and so sweet...I was amazed when she took one of the baby wipes and proceeded to wipe the coffee table and drink mats.

youarekidding · 13/07/2011 18:32

Completely normal for boys/men to so houseowkr.

I would say though 5yo is a difficult one. Some parents won't ask any child of that age to do anything, some will. My DS (6) takes his plate to the kitchen and puts in on the side. He wouldn't know what a compost bin was though - he struggles with a bog standard one. Randomly he's obsessed with what can be recylcled though.

smearedinfood · 13/07/2011 18:42

According to the book Raising Boys helping around the house is good for their self esteem. Quite happy to go with that one

NearlyHeadlessnickelbabe · 14/07/2011 16:05

jug - if it's poo, i'm amazed he doesn't pass out from the smell himself!
I can't believe he's been allowed to get away with that!
(unless he has a SN like dyspraxia, in which case, it's probably not in his routine, or he gets distracted...)

InTheNightKitchen · 14/07/2011 16:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

jugofwildflowers · 14/07/2011 21:56

He does not have SN, just a mum who's so proud of him she does everything for him it seems, including flushing his pooy toilets

OP posts:

NearlyHeadlessnickelbabe · 15/07/2011 13:11

[boak]
[boak]

BertieBotts · 16/07/2011 11:04

Sausages my DS would probably do that

I have no idea where he gets it from!

halcyondays · 16/07/2011 11:34

Of course it's normal for boys to help, but I don't suppose that all children of 5 are putting dishes away and using the compost bin. I don't think it's about them being boys.

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