to miss London....

[gottomakeaquiche]

Hello all.

DH and I lived in London for 15 and 20 years, both heading their after our studies (we didn't know each other then). I was 24 and planned to be there only for 5 years - yeah right! It was a hard place to live but I knew it well, along with all its plusses and minuses.

We met, got married and had babies (nice). We lived in a great part of town and had all our mates around us..growing our babes up in and around the parks swaffing lattes as we pushed buggies and talked about what we were doing that weekend, etc etc. It was a fantastic time but I always wanted to sample family life in the countryside, it was kind of on my bucket list having come from the country/small city in the country.

So..DH got made redundant, we got stupidly broke and decided this was the time to make the break and move out of London closer to home and family. DS and DD are 6 and 3 so good times to do it.

It's been a tough couple of years but we are now feeling more settled in the village that we live and have made some pals here...not that connection that you feel immediatly to new pals that you meet in London (why is that?) Anyway, work for DH has continued to be frustratingly tough with little work about. That I can handle (sort of) as he is now working at anyjob going just to get the money in - phew we got there in the end.

My question is this..does anyone else miss living in London? I hated it and loved it at the same time. I hated the aggression on the streets and I love the safety and 'niceness' of living out of it, for me and my children. I loved the bubbling opportunities everywhere and miss that sense of anything being doable. I hated the gazillions of people and love the ease of where we live now...its just that I'm a bit lonely inside for those other crazy nutters that I used to find all over my old city - I suppose that is to say my true best mates...

Thoughts most welcome.

[troisgarcons]

Walthamstow - oh the joys .... that's soooooo not civilised!!!!


))))Black Horse Road((((

[gottomakeaquiche]

Its good to hear all your stories about the right time to leave...OMG two days before ds was born?! Thats hilarious (in a now its all alright type of way)

Ennuigo...I love to think of you with the cows at the back door and the dogs at your feet - or rather on the sofa!

I had kind of envisaged the same thing but we aren't there yet and not sure we ever will be. We live among 4,000 and am thinking thats small enough for us. DS is happy as larry at school too.

Re going back to London..how long did it take you to get back without feeling like your heart is being ripped out?! Am finding it harder to go back than not right now...bestest mates in London don't really get it and I can't blame them.

[hellymelly]

I miss London too.We moved back to the land of our fathers (well my father,DH's father is english) three and a half years ago,and I've found it hard adjusting to village life.I love my cottage garden and my hens,I love the beaches and that every drive everywhere is like going on holiday,but blimey I wish I could just trot into Selfridges when I need a new mascara.I also miss all my old haunts and old friends. I have got closer to some friends here but it took a while,it was harder than in London somehow,or maybe it is just harder when you have small children and no sleep,to make new friends. This is a friendly village,but I am decades older than the average mother of children the same age as mine .That has been one of the hardest things actually.Moan moan moan....So here it is :- Dolphins,seals,supper on the beach,versus Selfridges,Maison Bertaux and everything on tap and accessable. I am happy here, but it is a huge shift.

[BulletWithAName]

troisgarcons- It's fucking hell! My mum can't wait to get out of there...

[Scholes34]

Lived there 12 years. Met DH, had first two DCs there, but left when they were still young. Missed London initially, but new town is so much more friendly and it's much quicker to get around places. Schools are excellent here and I think everything you hear in the media about not getting into first, second or third choice of school is really a London problem. I do get wound up by London-centric media - The Times doesn't think anything exists outside the M25.

Live about an hour outside London now. DCs almost old enough to leave on their own so that DH and I could go into London for theatre or to meet friends in an evening. Love the atmosphere when I go to London. Love coming home even more!

[realhousewifeofdevoncounty]

Have to say I never felt that "instant connection" or found it easy to meet new chums in London! Thought it was quite xenophobic really, and most people I mixed with I knew from before - but YANBU - I miss it a bit too. Sometimes. Bu then I realise how nice it is to be able to park outside my own house without getting clamped. Or drive to the supermarket.

[ronx]

I miss the london that I knew before having kids: hanging out with friends in notting hill, staying out late, spending the afternoon shopping anywhere from selfridges to a car boot sale...

But once children started to arrive most people we knew began to leave town for the same reasons we did: impossibly small catchmemt areas for decent schools, silly prices for family homes in nice areas, lack of space, rude people - to name a few things.

[MissDemeanor]

I miss exactly the same things as TrioisGarcons, I never lived there, only worked there but I miss it hugely and find our mid sized town utterly soul destroying.

[Scholes34]

Same as ronx - is it London I miss or my pre-children life??

[eurochick]

troisgarcons, did you used to frequent the somewhat bonkers Les Trois Garcons?

[ibbydibby]

OP, I could write your post almost word for word. Moved 100 miles away from East London, to my county of birth 4 years ago. Slightly different situation in that I had gone on and on and on at DH that I did not want to stay in London forever etc etc. Longed for the countryside.

I miss London SO much, the variety of people, the pace, the access to so many museums/theatres/parks/sights. The much wider variety of jobs relevant to my training.

However 4 years down the line I would be hard pushed to move back. I love that we can go on bike rides from our front door (in London was too busy to do this with DCs), and we have miles and miles of narrow country lanes in which to cycle. I love the vast skies here. (never saw wide expanses of sky when we were in London, too many buildings).

One of the things that I used to dislike about London was that there was no sense of community where we lived, there seemed to be no distinct boundaries between suburbs. The village we moved to has very distinct boundaries - we are surrounded by fields. So everywhere you go you see people you know - eg all the children who go to the village beaver/cubs group go to the village school. Whereas in London you would meet children from different schools at the local beavers/cubs, because of the far greater population. I felt as if I had gone from one extreme to the other.

OP, it has really helped me to go and join in things, show up at talks/village show/whatever, and gradually get to know people that way. I have also got to know a lot of people by walking to school with DCs every day (rather than drive).

I still miss my friends, especially those I met after having DS1, and friends from the school they went to (DS1 left mid way through Yr 5 and had been there since nursery so a long history there). I really felt as if we had packed our entire life into a removal van - well really that's what we did! Might go off and have a private sob actually....

[Islandlady]

I am a Londoner born and bred and a south Londoner at that.

We moved to the Isle of Wight last year and can honestly say I dont miss London that much.


For instance on Christmas Eve I was a bit sad that I wasnt going to the Carols by Candlelight at the Royal Albert Hall as usual, but that sadness disapeared on Christmas day when we walked along the beach which is near where we now live.

And I forget sometimes how dirty London is now I am an Islander, I even got cross seeing graffiti on the Bridge over the Island Line, whereas in London I hardly even noticed it as it was so commonplace.

Shops are a bit of a problem but then again instead of taking the bus to the Big shops I now get on a hovercraft ( how cool is that?)

And the sense of comminuty here is so much better than in London where I didnt even know the neighbours - I went to my very first Street party for the RW here on the Island and knew EVERY one there.

I get such a thrill when I am on the Hover or Ferry coming back home seeing the spires of the Parish Church and The Catholic Church in Ryde getting closer and closer.

I aint never going back

[Anteater]

sounds good
we left the smoke 20 yearago for the idyllic county of cumbria
no hovers tho!

[TheBride]

I miss it even though I still live in a major city (HK). I've come to realise though that what I miss is my life in London "pre-children". We lived in Zone 1, on the river, could walk/tube/cab everywhere, both worked in the City and felt very much "in the middle of it".

Now I have a baby, I realise that we'd definitely have moved further out to Clapham or somewhere, and either I'd be working FT, and rushing home to the nanny and bedtime hell rather than off to a bar/gym/theatre, or I'd be a SAHM and would have forfeited the city life completely, so my life would have changed anyway.

I just have nostalgia for those days of rolling out of bed at 10 on a Saturday, going for a long run along the South Bank/thru the parks, and then settling down for a late lunch/few bloody marys/ the papers, having a wander around Borough market, and then maybe a refreshing nap before heading out for dinner/drinks - Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh

[Anteater]

the Luxury of always moving in the other direction to the commuter traffic!

[drinkinginLA]

Ahh I miss it when I want to go shopping after work and the shops didn't close at 5.30 (6.30 Thurs 'late night' shopping here though, wow) I grew up in West London, getting the tube to school, learning to drive in the crazy traffic, having everything on my doorstep whenever. I left first to go to Uni down south, and have ended up married and living about 6o miles north in a town smaller than my own highly popular borough.

When I get off the train at St Pancras I feel good though, It is a great city.

I'm going to make a massive effort that DC's spend enough time there, learn to use the tube and be independant there from an early age. Things I don't miss is the price of things, the fact that many people take themselves too seriously in London than anywhere else in the country that i've experianced. Also stuff like parking prices, restrictions and congestion charge are annoying. Haven't sufffered with asthma at all since I left either, was on 3 kinds of inhalor as a child.

Generally not living in London to me means closing a door on the younger more fun and crazy part of my life that is behind me now. I wouldn't really want to be bringing DC's up there now. and we wouldn't have been able to afford a pot to piss in for the price we paid for our whole house up here!

[Bluemoonrising]

I could never live in London. The one thing I hated was how grimy it is - no matter how nice a place you live - I am used to blowing my nose and it not come out black and sooty. It's not a healthy place to be.

You don't want that for your kids, surely.

[PicaK]

Hmm yes i'd almost forgotten the permanent black snot!

I miss the vibe and the energy, I miss being given free stuff at Paddington in the morning.
I miss the local news being the national news.
I miss decent coffee.

But I love the countryside, the slow pace of life. It's fab for my DS.

[TheBride]

The black snot stops after you've lived there about 3 months. Don't know why.

[Bunbaker]

"My question is this..does anyone else miss living in London?"

No, no and thrice no. I wonder if you found it less easy to settle because of your "I love London and anywhere else isn't as good" attitude. I live in a village and found it very easy to settle in the countryside after living in Leeds, and London before that. My nearest town is 5 miles away and I am only a half hour drive away from Leeds or Sheffield, so if I wanted city life I could get it whenever I wanted to.

However, I choose not to. I like being able to walk through the village and wave to most of the cars driving by as I know the driver. I love being able to hop on my bike and cycle off the road on country trails, the fresh, unpolluted air, the abundance of farm shops, the pretty countryside, the low crime rate, good schools that don't have hundreds of children applying for a handful of places (DD's school has had outstanding Ofsted reports for the last few years). City living is not for me.

[Bluemoonrising]

"The black snot stops after you've lived there about 3 months. Don't know why."

Not according to my brother, who lived there for two years.

[feckwit]

God no! When we go back to visit, I hate the fact the traffic is busy, the tubes are busy, there are people rushing everywhere... And everyone seems so competitive. I wouldn't go back, not a chance!

[neepsntatties]

I really miss it and if I didn't have kids I would be back there like a shot.

[spookshowangel]

i absolutely despise london but i only lived there for a little while in notting hill, i am am a brighton girl and would cry a river of blood if i had to move i think.

[Honeybee79]

I'm originally from North Yorkshire. I've lived in London for 6 years, got married here and we had our DS here last year. We constantly think about leaving (better state schools, more fresh air, countryside, cheaper housing etc etc) BUT neither of us can bring ourselves to do it. I love this City. I have had some of the best times of my life here (and some of the worst) and I love that if I decide I want to eat Eritrean food then I can go get some, if I want to learn to samba in a proper brazilian club then I can go and do it. It feels like it's an amazing melting pot of opportunities and for now I accept the downsides for that.