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AIBU?

I don't want 3 yr old DS to go on a day trip to the zoo with school. AIBU, DH says yes.

136 replies

pombal · 17/05/2011 19:28

DS1 3.5 yrs has the opportunity to go on a day trip to the zoo with school.
It will be his class (nursery) and the class above (reception), so about 22 children aged 3 - 5 years.
There will be 2 teachers and 2 assisstants going with them. The Zoo is an hours drive from school and they will leave at 9am and be back by 4pm.
We live abroad and it'll be hot.

I think he's just a bit too young for an all day outing in a big group like this, and we can take him to the Zoo another time.

DH is literally sulking that I won't let him go and has asked me to put it to the mumsnet jury.

AIBU to say no?

OP posts:

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smallpotato · 17/05/2011 22:06

YANBU, DD is 3 and she's not going on her preschool trip to the zoo 40 mins away. Parents are welcome if they want to come but I don't fancy dragging 10mo DD2 round all day with a bunch of preschoolers, and I think she's too young to go without me. If it was just a trip to a local park or something it would be ok but it's a massive zoo. Go with your instincts, he's too young to care anyway.

PumpkinSnatch · 17/05/2011 21:59

I'm quite shocked at the number of people saying yanbu. I am a super over anxious mum and I wouldn't have a problem with this. A 3 yo armed with fluids will not dehydrate. I wouldn't imagine they'll be tearing round the zoo as most of them would get tired - there will be lots of sitting down. Slap some p50 on him and he'll be fine. Could you go along if you are worried about supervision? Although I assume the staff/child ratio would meet the legal requirement for wherever you are based?

kslatts · 17/05/2011 21:54

I would let him go, my dd's would of been disappointed to miss a trip at that age. What happens if he doesn't go, will he still go to nursey or stay at home with you the day of the trip?

AuntiePickleBottom · 17/05/2011 21:41

yanbu, there is not enough adults to supervise.

i don't think parents can help as in my son school every parent helper must have a CRB check. (may be diffrent in other schools though)

pigletmania · 17/05/2011 21:34

I agree hulababy the staff ratio if they are taking pre school needs to be higher based on the children needing more supervision than school aged children

HerHissyness · 17/05/2011 21:34

I wondered if you were in portugal Pombal, both by the name and the description of driving!

This is your DS, your life and your decision, if you were comfortable, you wouldn't think twice, listen to your gut.

this is why I'm not letting my DS go and he is 5.5, and I'm in leafy UK.

hulababy · 17/05/2011 21:31

I think they need more staff/helpers. 6 children per adult is too much at that age at such a venue imo.

At reception age I wouldn't think twice and say ok. But preschool does seem young, and I'd want a higher adult:child ratio I think.

Will they accept additional helpers?

pombal · 17/05/2011 21:30

I'm in Portugal Lillian, and school is really big on trips, DS has been to a concert and a farm as well as walks near school but as Piglet says it's a combo of the length of trip, distance and staff ratio that puts me off this time.

Thanks all for replies, server is being very slow so am off now :)

OP posts:

winnybella · 17/05/2011 21:22

I would let him go, but then here in France they take kids out for day trips quite often. DS went from his first year at maternelle, so he was 3.5. I think 1:5 or 1:6 ratio is ok- I imagine they are made to walk in pairs and hold hands?

I wouldn't let him go if it was a trip to the beach with only 4 people supervising, but zoo? Yes, I think I would.

pigletmania · 17/05/2011 21:20

I do feel that 3 is far to young for the distance of the outing and the length, not to mention the low staff ratios. Can't you volunteer to be a parent helper?

Pictish · 17/05/2011 21:16

My ds2, who is 3, is off on a day trip with his nursery class on Thursday. I think it'll be great! I have no issue with it at all.

LillianGish · 17/05/2011 21:09

Where do you live?

ElenorRigby · 17/05/2011 21:07

YANBU
Our DD is 3 1/2 too, she's at a fee paying nursery.

Both me and DH are very happy with her care at nursery with the relatively high staff to child ratio and excellent care.

However both of us agree DD will not go on outside trips without either I or DP to keep an eye on her ie accompany her on any outside trip.

The staff at DD's nursery are completely OK with either/both of us going with her.

MollyMurphy · 17/05/2011 21:06

That doesn't sound like enough adults to me with so many little ones in a large park. I don't think YABU - I would question letting my own child go.

pombal · 17/05/2011 20:59

RHP - DS will really want to go, and I'm sure they'll do some sort of class work afterwards and they'll all be talking about it, so I'll be the bad guy if I say no.

bringinghomethebacon - I may talk to the teacher about the logistics of taking DS2 tomorrow, I just imagine there will be some sort of programme to follow and having to stop to feed and change DS2 prob won't fit it.

domesticslattern - honestly that is the ratio, you should see swimming lessons here 1:8 for the 3-4 yr olds and the lifeguard sits reading a book and I'm not allowed to be poolside only in upstairs gallery. DS doesn't go anymore!

I don't want to be the killjoy all the time though and I do vere towards the helicopter end of the parenting spectrum, so it's good to know what everyone thinks.

OP posts:

Rebeccaruby · 17/05/2011 20:46

I would be inclined to let him go. All his classmates will be talking about what they did at the zoo. Which country is it though? Is the real issue that the other kids will be Southern Mediterranean types who have been brought up in the heat, and will not be used to using sunscreen, and the staff might not be sensitive to his needs? Would be more worried about the animals in captivity aspect.

domesticslattern · 17/05/2011 20:39

22 small children and four adults? Are you completely sure that's the ratios, because that sounds a bit to me? My DD's nursery is going to a museum next month, so that's three and four year olds and a smattering of two year olds, and we're told that the ratio has to be 1:1. (Which seems astonishing to me as well, but there you go).

Would they be grateful for parent volunteers?

HerHissyness · 17/05/2011 20:39

I have a 5.5yo.

I'm not agreeing to him going on the Reception Trip to the zoo as I don't think it's necessary.

My school has not even had the good grace to ask, or even tell us anything any of about the arrangements, timings, logistics, costs or anything, and for this reason, he'll not be going. I wouldn't let a parent/friend take my DS on a trip with a lack of information like this, let alone 90 odd kids in 2 coaches.

I would not let a 3yo travel in a coach without me, boosters/seatbelts or no boosters/seatbelts. There is PLENTY of time for trips.

bringinghomethebacon · 17/05/2011 20:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RedHotPokers · 17/05/2011 20:31

I would find out if your DS is that bothered about going or not.
If he is desperate to go, and all of his friends are going, could either your DH go with him, or you go and your DH look after your other DC?

I think I would try and find a way round it if my DC really wanted to go.

Btw I would have let my DD go at 3yo, but we live in the Uk and I trust the teacher/TAs.

LillianGish · 17/05/2011 20:25

Where do you live? Does he want to go? If so I think I would let him and offer to go as a helper so you can lend a hand. When we lived in Berlin I remember DS going on a trip to a puppet theatre in the depths of winter (minus 12 degrees and snow on the ground). He would have been a similar age to your ds - maybe even youinger. I remember they walked to the bus stop, took a bus to the u-bahn and then took a train the the theatre. Couldn't imagine for the life of me it would have been feasible with kids that young, but they were absolutely fine and they had a great time. I'm very much of the philosophy "When in Rome...." Yes, you could take him another time, but would that be as much fun as going with his classmates?

doley · 17/05/2011 20:23

are enough *

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RJRabbit · 17/05/2011 20:23

I have a 3 year old. Hell no!

doley · 17/05/2011 20:22

I don't think there enough adults .

I wouldn't let mine go at that age .

BlueFergie · 17/05/2011 20:18

Mmm my DD went on a zoo trip last year, she would have been almost exactly 3.5 years at the time. Her pre school take them on a few trips a year - art gallery, farm and zoo. The ratios are about the same 4 adults for 18-20 kids and it is coach as well so no boosters.
Having said all that we are not abroad so heat not really an issue. The zoo is about a 10 minute drive and it is only for the morning from 9.30 to 12.30. Also the I trust the teacher implicitly. I think she is more careful of the kids than most parents (including me) and her level of control over them is amazing. They follow instructions from her without question.
It never occured to me to have a problem with any of the trips because of the faith I have in the school and teachers, but i think I would have reservations about a full day trip in huge heat.

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