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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To want to spend a day/night alone for my birthday present?

20 replies

SchrodingersCatFliesToOz · 12/04/2011 16:29

My birthday is coming up and DD1(6) has everything planned. I will also take her to an egg hunt that day.
As a present from DH I would really like a room in a B&B close by and be by myself lounging in front of the TV all day (or sleeping) the week end after my birthday. Is that unreasonable? (I am not sure)
It is very selfish but I am fed up with it all

OP posts:

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 12/04/2011 16:31

Oh, YANBU at all! Go for it!

Pinkjenny · 12/04/2011 16:33

Not U at all. Enjoy yourself!

babybythesea · 12/04/2011 16:34

No! I sometimes fantasise about what I would do if had a whole day without having to plan everything round nap times etc. My birthday present from my dh is a book token and a promise to look after our dd for an afternoon while I tootle off to a bookshop and then go for a coffee and read what I've bought rather than have it languish on the shelves for months due to lack of time. It's not that I don't love my dd, or that I mind organising my life round her, it's just that sometimes I get an urge to have one day that is filled with things I like to do (sleeping....reading...sleeping and possibly the consumption of a naughty treat - a bar of chocolate say - without either hiding in the cupboard to eat so she doesn't see, or resigning myself to sharing it!). My birthday was November and I have yet to have my bookshop afternoon..... (my fault - when the weekend rolls around and dh is home I suddenly find I'd rather be home with them than off by myself!)

kenobi · 12/04/2011 16:35

I have a friend who did this and although her DH was upset that she didn't want him there, he came round to it.

She LOVED it, came back with her batteries completely recharged and we all thought it was a brilliant idea. So a big fat YANBU to you!

Original poster

SchrodingersCatFliesToOz · 12/04/2011 16:39

That is what I am afraid of, DH might not take it very well, neither DD1.

OP posts:

Ragwort · 12/04/2011 16:41

Sounds lovely - I am very lucky as DH and DS often go away for weekends together - doing boys' stuff (sorry, that sort of comment is probably not popular on Mumsnet ) and I have the whole weekend to myself, at home. Friends etc often ask 'what are you going to do?' and I am very happy to just do nothing ................ my idea of heaven ! Sometimes people want to ask me to join them to do things as I have to pretend to be busy ! (A bit like my parents who always stay at home on New Years Eve but with the lights out so that no one invites them round ).

kenobi · 12/04/2011 16:44

You might have to explain that it's not that you don't love spending time with them, it's just that you need 24 hours to recharge your batteries and then you will come back and love them EVEN MORE (or similar). And ignore the guilt and be quite bullish about it.

Kleftico · 12/04/2011 16:44

Next best thing? Couple of days a Center Parcs, one of those days you go to the Spa all day, alone! DH goes off with DD and they do something fun! I did this in January! Kids into crèche at CP, DH went for massage, I dropped kids off high fived him on the way past and he went to the gym. I lounged around in the spa, went around all the steam rooms etc, then the best bit was wrapped up in a towel and dressing gown , reading in the relaxation area for 2 hours!! Bliss.

Original poster

SchrodingersCatFliesToOz · 12/04/2011 16:51

He keeps calling me though when he is alone with the girls for a few hours. And he let DD2 (14 mo) fall down the stairs this week end, not understanding that looking after her means LOOKING as she is a kamikase and quick as a flash.
Kleftico, I also need to be away from people as DD2 keeps climbing on me, kicking, biting, smacking, pushing, pulling....all charmingly of course but I want my body for myself

OP posts:

kenobi · 12/04/2011 17:10

yes, I am at the climbing frame stage too (sigh)

If you feel you can't leave them alone (and they would all survive, honest) then kleftico's suggestion is probably the one.

mosschops30 · 12/04/2011 17:16

YANBU
Everyone needs a bit of me time, especially mums as i tend to feel like the only time i have away from the dcs is when i go to work, so i do have to make time just for me.
Just imagine eating and sleepin in complete peace

lateatwork · 12/04/2011 17:19

Brilliant idea. Wish I thought of it. YANBU

Tinkerisdead · 12/04/2011 17:30

I wanted this. I told my DH that it was my ideal birthday present to have a hotel room alone for one night, to check in, have a long long long bath without plastic toys dropping in on me, read and read and read and read, then order room service, eat my food on my lap whilst reading and reading and reading. Wake up late, have another long bath and then really take my time getting dressed with nice makeup and hair etc. Hmmmmm.

Anyway. Last year he comes in on Good Friday with the room booked for Easter Sunday (not my birthday!) Then I got all upset as I'd been looking forward to family Easter and asked if I could cancel it. I was so torn and felt a prize bitch.

Needless to say, he didn't attempt the offer again and a year on I'd like it twice as much now.

YANBU ....go! And please could you finish reading Nicholas Nickleby for me as its taken me 18 months to get half way!

FessaEst · 12/04/2011 17:34

One of my friends recently had to attend a course that involved an overnight stay. We all gasped with jealousy at the thought of a hotel room, big bed, TV, reading time, bathroom and room service all to oneself, even if only for a few hours. A couple of the mums with birthdays coming up resolved to ask for exactly that as a present, so you are far from alone in your desires!

EssexGurl · 12/04/2011 17:35

It was my 40th last year (yikes) and my present to myself was a day at the Sanctuary in London. I had a massage, a facial, read my book and magazine, a lovely lunch with fizz and basically just did nothing. I came home at the end of a lovely day to the sounds of DH and kids screaming at each other in the bathroom. They had had a very long, hot day with a party at the end of it, and were all frazzled. I just wish I had had a night away as well.

So, you are definitely not being unreasonable. But my DH did say that the next time I got to do something like that would be my 50th as he was so stressed after the end of the day (my normal day I hasten to add ....)

Nagoo · 12/04/2011 17:38

YANBU. That's all I wanted for mother's day, was someone to take my kids away for the day

Original poster

SchrodingersCatFliesToOz · 12/04/2011 17:50

It is unanimous then! I just have to have the guts to do it...
Good point thedoctor my birthday is a few days before easter this year, so I might have to wait a week or 2.
Essex I think DH will be the same! And I might need a week to clean up the place afterward.

OP posts:

mollymole · 12/04/2011 18:34

Lovely - Go for It !!

Original poster

SchrodingersCatFliesToOz · 13/04/2011 10:04

DH agrees, he is scared I might break. He 1st suggested to dump me in the woods with the tent and pick me up a day or 2 later
I am being upgraded to the boutique hotel up the road. I knew I loved him for his kindness . Now I have to see if it really happens!
kenobi I do trust him completely with both DDs, but sometime he doesn't realise (or forget) how crazy is DD2.

OP posts:

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 13/04/2011 14:59

LOL @ tent in the woods; peaceful, yes, but hardly relaxing! Let us know when you get your break, you deserve and need one.

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