Hey - can anybody help with some advice?

[FabbyChic]

This poor lady, can anybody help her please?

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/1188189-I-am-due-to-have-surgery-and-I-am-a-single-parent

[FabbyChic]

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/_chat/1188189-I-am-due-to-have-surgery-and-I-am-a-single-parent

[FabbyChic]

OH come on can anybody help this lady?

[MaisyMooCow]

Social Services, Local Church Group, Head Teacher may have contacts..???

[Birdsgottafly]

The OP should only consider going through SS if she hasn't any family or long term friends. If she allowed someone that she did not know well to look after her children and anything happened including an everyday accident then both she and the carer would be investigated.

There then may be a problem with having the children returned as quickly as they could be. SS will keep the children together. From what she says about possibly losing her sight and the recovery time it takes from her type of OP, she would be better having a SW to sort out nursery places when the children are returned.

I know that people mean well but it could end up a big mess.

[FabbyChic]

I know she has to go through SS, just wondered if there was any other options, so sad, guess not.

[scottishmummy]

ss,
ward mgr and team at hosp ward treating you
patient advisory liaison services (pals)
request plan and discuss after care and childcare provision now pre-admission

[scottishmummy]

birds you are being a bit alarmist and provocative about ss involvement
frankly hospital will pick up on this and contact ss anyway

[Birdsgottafly]

How am I being alarmist and provocative? I work in CP and do not understand why there is such a fear and dislike of involving SS (namely myself). The hospital would not pick up on this unless she requests to speak to a hospital SW, who are always very busy. She can be awarded a SW tomorrow and plan the care of the children and after care to relieve the stress of the situation. I have experience of informal arrangements not working. SS are not the big bad wolf. I was mearly explaining what they will do. I do it everyday in my working life.

[Birdsgottafly]

Perhaps you read it wrong, i ment that the OP should only consider SS and not an informal arrangement unless it is family / long term friends.

[scottishmummy]

well foreboding about a "big mess" isnt reassuring,is it
cerainly any planned inetrvention coukd gi awry,but hopefully with good communication,planning and pre-admission needs assessment it will all be anticipated and discussed

[scottishmummy]

ok,saw your follow up post.yes clearly crossed wires

[Skinit]

I suppose a childminder who does overnights might be able to do it...a CM with Ofsted rating? I know if I were able to help I would....bu people off the internet aren't what this lady needs right now...it's very worryng for her.

The only comfort I can offer is that foster carers will be used to things like this...they will take the DC to visit the OP in hospital....and if SS are aware then they will be able to keep an eye on the kids....more so than if someone the OP doesn't know were to care for them.

[Birdsgottafly]

A ment a big mess if the OP leaves the children with people that she does not know well. Posters are jumping in with offers to help, which is very kind but naive.

Thats what i ment by 'i know people mean well but it could end up a big mess'.

I am advising to go the SS route as FC was asking is there any other way. Sorry but you have read my post wrong.

[scottishmummy]

an infirmal bit of this and that wont suffice.need to let hosp team and sw arrange needs assessment and plan and fund a package
OT, SW, physio

also needs adequate monitoring of package once instated

[Birdsgottafly]

Usually if a overnight CM or nanny is used they have contact details of next of kin if there is an accident. If the OP MIL is holidaying out of the country or would be unwilling to cut her holiday short then this is outside of the normal arrangement.

By law you cannot give a stranger 'proxy parental responsibility', there is normally one member of the family who can be contacted. If there is a family member who will oversee the arrangements then that would be fine. If the only other person who has any 'responsibility' for the children is in hospital then this is not ideal. These sort of arrangements are usually built up over time. What a lot of posters are suggesting (without realising it) is that the OP enters into a private fostering arrangement (a very dodgy area).

The OP will need recovery time, she may have a longer hospital stay and needs a proper plan in place. As someone who works for SS i would urge you to conntact SS and at least discuss your needs.

OP- They will make a plan that suits you using approved care. You will know where your children are and what they will be doing. Your children will be returned to you. This situation is quite common. As i said the SW will also give you after care.