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AIBU?

to feel sad for newly married friend?

79 replies

darleneconnor · 03/04/2011 12:40

Her husband has put a 'change your name,woman' post on her facebook. I'm sure he think's it's funny but I think she's just moved to Stepford.

Also his favorite tv programme is '2 1/2 men' .

Wait 2 years and she'll be on the relationship threads.

I'm not close enough to her to openly criticise him, it all just makes me vv sad.

OP posts:

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luvviemum · 03/04/2011 21:11

I think he was joking! You need to chill out!

JaneS · 03/04/2011 21:02

Maybe someone will explain, I suppose.

SarahStrattonHasNiceBears · 03/04/2011 20:09

Thank you LRD. I don't get the relevance here either

scottishmummy · 03/04/2011 19:59

darlene stop snoping on her fb and bitching,really juvenile

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 03/04/2011 19:59

Is the OP Milly Tant?

JaneS · 03/04/2011 19:55

If I understand rightly, cognitive dissonance is when you manage to hold two contradictory beliefs at once - it's something that people who're being abused or repressed sometimes do, eg., knowing someone is hurting you and also believing they are a good and loving person. I'm not clear where it comes into this thread though.

SarahStrattonHasNiceBears · 03/04/2011 19:48

Bollocks. What is this cognitive dissonance bollocks? I've been waiting all day for someone to post what it is on here?

Hulababy · 03/04/2011 19:44

I do wonder if some couples daren't have any form of pet banter between them in fear of offending one another

Flowerpotmummy · 03/04/2011 19:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Hulababy · 03/04/2011 19:43

I can honestly say that, in that context, I would most efinitely NOT be offendd by such a statement.

I would not find it sexist or offensive at all.

Same as if I called DH "MAN" in that context - it'd be done in jest and taken in jest.

It is a joke between a married couple. Leave them be!!!

JaneS · 03/04/2011 19:43

Yes, it's shocking. He's probably going around saying 'my wife and I' every third sentence too, the newly-married fucker. Misogyny at its very worst.

Summerbird73 · 03/04/2011 19:41

i am a geordie - it is common for us to end a sentence with 'man'

does that make us all sexist feminist man haters...

googoomama · 03/04/2011 19:40

My exh used to call me a c*. "Woman" would have been fine by me...

forwantofabetter1 · 03/04/2011 19:37

Darleneconnor - I think you are being way over the top I am a woman thereore how is it sexist for my husband to refer to me as one??

Cymar · 03/04/2011 18:52

He called her 'woman'. She IS female, is she not? Besides, if your friend isn't at all bothered about it then you'd best find something else to fret about.

Northernlurker · 03/04/2011 17:38

OP - thank goodness you aren't close enough to openly criticise him. Your friend would (quite rightly) think you very odd.

'Change your name ' - sounds like an instruction which depending on context might be a bit odd.
'Change your name woman' is obviously a injoke in a relationship and this none of anybody's business.
Back off and keep your sympathy for people who need it.

lilyliz · 03/04/2011 17:29

was that a late April fool ?

Bogeyface · 03/04/2011 17:17

God forbid that a loving couple should have a bit of banter without some joyless miserable soul muscling in and suggesting emotional abuse and control.

Get yourself a hobby, a job, a lover, ANYTHING but most of all get your head out of your arse!

Oh and you could try getting a sense of humour too

Megatron · 03/04/2011 17:16

DH calls me woman sometimes, I call him a hairy arsed trucker. It's a joke. Well we find it funny anyway so that's what matters. If I thought he was serious I wouldn't be married to him.

NinkyNonker · 03/04/2011 16:46

Oh, and definitely no cognitive dissonance here.

NinkyNonker · 03/04/2011 16:45

Hmmm, boy to girl
Man to woman
Gentleman to lady?

In terms of phrases? In which case surely the op would like us to call all men gentlemen instead if men, just to be fair?

louloudia · 03/04/2011 16:44

sends the OP a complimentary sense of humour

poor cow :)

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zukiecat · 03/04/2011 16:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

posypoo · 03/04/2011 14:27

They sound like they have a pretty good relationship to me, from their banter!

It's pretty clear, from various comments I've received over the years, that most of my oldest friends think I'm with the wrong man. They couldn't be more wrong, but I don't care. Nobody knows about other people's relationships apart from the people in them, and it's nobody else's business!

missmyoldname · 03/04/2011 14:13

I quite often say to DH 'What's a matter with you man?' if he's forgotten something or done something daft. Is this also derogatory?

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