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AIBU?

My husband is annoyed with me for being ill.

57 replies

Dexterrocks · 12/12/2010 13:04

We had a babysitter booked on Friday night so we could go out for a meal and to the cinema.
Over the course of the afternoon I started to feel really ill but tried to put a brave face on things.
By the time I had got dressed up and the babysitter had arrived I felt awful and we had to turn back 20 minutes after we left as I couldn't stop shivering.
I spent the night going hot and cold, aching all over, temp of between 39 and 40, being sick, unable to drink water etc - I'm sure you get the picture.
Dh refuses to do anything to help me and actually seems very annoyed with me for being ill. He is doing nothing to entertain the dcs either.
I spent the whole of yesterday unable to do anything. I have perked up today but I am still not well, not eating etc but he is barely able to speak to me and has become really sullen.
Am I unreasonable to have left everything to him on Friday night and yesterday, while I was ill or is it him?

OP posts:

Report

Dexterrocks · 13/12/2010 12:27

I don't think he saw it. How scary would it be if he started reading my MN stuff? Yikes!

OP posts:

thumbplumpuddingwitch · 13/12/2010 12:17

Are you sure he hasn't seen this thread, Dexter? He seems to be going out of his way to make up for his arsiness before...
Long may it last!

Poledra - there is more excuse for you, you were also ill, so of course it is more frustrating when you have to get on and do stuff while still being ill yourself. Dexter's DH had no such excuse.

kenobi · 13/12/2010 12:16

I get annoyed with DH as he is permanently ill (IBS) and it's bloody unreasonable of me (I just get fed up ).

So, YANBU

talleyrand · 13/12/2010 12:06

that's OK, then it IS him who is BU.

Dexterrocks · 13/12/2010 11:59

I am very rarely ill talleyrand and glory on through colds etc. This bug totally floored me though.

OP posts:

talleyrand · 13/12/2010 11:53

OP, just guessing but do you often start to feel ill when you are approaching the time for going out on set-piece or important occasions.

just asking: as it is a common symptom of anxiety. perhaps this wasn't a one off thing?

Poledra · 13/12/2010 11:51

Dexter, I got a bad cold and fever the other week. On the day I was worst, DH looked after me raelly well - lots of drinks, food etc. However, he then came down with it the next day, so I had to get up and struggle on with the DDs. He's been really ill - off work all last week, which is not like him.

I am ashamed to admit that I have found it really hard to be as sympathetic as I ought to be - in fact, I apologsed to him last night that I have been quite short with him during last week, as I was so tired but he was unable to do anything to help. Yes, your DH WBU, but then so was I - we're only human and we all make mistakes. At least he's made up for it (actions as apologies is just the sort of thing my DH does).

AliGrylls · 13/12/2010 11:44

Maybe he was upset that he missed a nice evening with his wife.

Dexterrocks · 13/12/2010 11:34

Just discovered he has scaled the mountain of laundry in the utility as well. Am stunned. Maybe HE felt guilty for being a swine on Saturday.
Took the kids to school this am and phoned from work to see if I was coping.
Why the Jekyll & Hyde?
mummytoatribe whatever it is it seems to be intermittent - better than non existent though!

OP posts:

mummytoatribe · 13/12/2010 11:09

Has he caught something? If so I NEED TO KNOW WHAT IT IS!!!

Can you put some in a vial and send it round here please? I could do with my DH going down with whatever yours appears to have if the symptoms are unprompted ironing and changing the bed!

chitchatinsantasear · 13/12/2010 11:08

Yah, he finally grew up! Just remember though, when he gets ill next time you have a day's grace of treating him like crap before you do anything nice for him!!!!

thumbplumpuddingwitch · 13/12/2010 11:07

Yes, what Ephiny said.
Hope you're feeling better, Dexter!

Ephiny · 13/12/2010 11:03

Don't feel guilty, there's still no excuse for his earlier attitude! Glad to hear he's making up for it now though :)

Dexterrocks · 13/12/2010 09:56

And he put clean sheets on my bed for me. Feel guilty now.

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abenstille · 12/12/2010 22:29

hope he gets it next

thumbplumpuddingwitch · 12/12/2010 20:54

He didn't happen to catch sight of this thread, did he, Dexter?

Glad he's back on track - hope you feel better soon.

Dexterrocks · 12/12/2010 20:40

I take it all back he is, wait for it, doing the ironing.
I love him again! :)

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Confuzzeled · 12/12/2010 19:34

Yes, even my dh who is usually pretty good, went in a huff and said he was feeling a bit fluie when I had a sickness and diariah bug. I had to take the kids into the bathroom with me every 8-10 minutes for 3 hours, I even managed to make them lunch.

Sometimes dh's can be utterly selfish pigs.

Make them pay in the subtle ways you know how.

kodokan · 12/12/2010 19:21

It's lovely when the kids step up the occasion, isn't it - for me, it almost made it worth being ill.

Glad your kids have shamed DH into playing his part, and hope for your sake he's not incubating the same bug...

Dexterrocks · 12/12/2010 19:17

kodokan I agree, my dd (9) has been fantastic and brought me water and medicine and helped out with ds (younger). Dh seems to have got his act together finally too.

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kodokan · 12/12/2010 19:13

I had a horrid throat/fever/weak and dizzy bug a couple of months ago, during a weekend when DH was away on a work trip.

My 10 YEAR OLD did a better job of looking after me than your DH - he prepared food for himself, his 6 yr old sister and me, regularly brought me drinks, amused his sister and put her to bed each evening and generally ran the place so I didn't have to move for 48 hours and mostly dozed the weekend away.

This was all very surprising and out of character for him, but at least there's hope for the species yet.

prettymuchapixiegirl · 12/12/2010 19:11

I think your H (I don't think he deserves the D at the moment) is being very unfair. It's hardly like you chose to be ill.

I haven't got any advice but I do sympathise; I am ill today and my DH has given me no sympathy at all, I'm just expected to carry on as normal. The only person to care at all that I feel ill is my 6 year old DD, who has been getting me glasses of water. My DH just huffs each time I cough and rolls his eyes.

I hope you soon feel better

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maighdlin · 12/12/2010 18:47

arsehole

toomanychristmaslights · 12/12/2010 18:42

Thank you Dexter hope you are soon better too

missmehalia · 12/12/2010 18:40

I don't want to join in with the name calling and sarcasm, etc, on here (boy, are there some angry people on MN!). However wanted to write something on here to show solidarity.. I don't think you deserved to be given a hard time. They're his children too, and shouldn't be near you anyway in case it's catching! I wonder if he thought about that? Up to you whether you try and talk to him about this, it's not a good time of year to be hoping people will be patient or kind - ironic, eh? DH here has been remarkably tetchy and pretty unreasonable too if it's any consolation.

I hope you're feeling a lot better now, maybe try and re-plan your night out when things have calmed down.

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