Letterbox suddenly stopped after 10 years

[Annareese]

Idk where to start

But I have been writing every year in April and October for 10 years to my adopted children's parents, never not had a letter, up until last October I didn't receive anything.

It's now coming upto April and still nothing.

I have spoken to the agency who have said they have sent reminders and not received anything back they're incommunicado with the agency too.

I have nothing but great respect to the adopters and wish them nothing but love and happiness, and I'm so grateful for them rescuing my children from my abusive violent partner at the time , I was only 15 and just a child myself and thought that what I was experiencing was normal because I grew up being beaten by my mother,I am thankful to them, we had a really good rapport (or so I thought 💭) even let me send gifts and photos and they send cards back for my sons birthday too.

I am worried , I am wondering and I'm confused.

I keep asking the agency what's going on to no avail, I don't even know what my question is here but I need to put it somewhere

What are the reasons adopters may stop contact

My letters have always been appropriate and I've always followed the guidelines....

[Bethebest]

I’m so sorry to hear this. From an adopter’s perspective, I have found it increasingly difficult to write letters as child has got older, partly because we get no response (which I know isn’t the case with you), ut also because I feel like it infringes on her privacy.

Other adopters I know have had their children not want them to send letters for all kinds of reasons.

All I can suggest is keep asking the agency to chase. It must be so hard for you. I’m sorry.

[Annareese]

Thankyou so much , I do understand how hard it must be to keep up the contact especially as the children get older.

But even a small letter to explain that would be helpful.

I do keep messaging the agency and I'm worried now it's getting repetitive and they are droning me out , because I ask every week or so.

I will always write to them even with no reply.

But honestly I'm devastated and it feels like loosing them all over again.

Thanks very much for your insight , very very helpful to hear an adopters perspective 🙏💜

[UnderTheNameOfSanders]

It may be they are going through some difficult times and don't know how to write positively to you / don't have the energy to word something.

I write twice yearly and the hardest letters are when we are struggling as I don't want to worry or upset birth mum, but also want to be honest; though I have always always written.

[ifchocolatewerecelery]

So for myself, I've always had a good relationship with my letterbox coordinator and have always communicated with them if I need to delay a letter and way so it can be passed on to birth family. I have all letters arranged in date order in files and a separate file containing print outs of emails detailing all conversations with the letterbox coordinator.

However, should something happen to me, letterbox would grind to a halt over night; it would simply not be a priority for my other half. So that is one reason for things to change.

I also know of children who have requested the letters stop and parents who feel they can no longer continue because letters are either not being received or are wildly inappropriate. Other parents feel that having read the reasons why the child was removed find it increasingly difficult to write because of the ongoing impact on the child of their trauma.

I think there are so many different factors that could account for the lack of a letter last October that even well meant and comforting speculation is pointless. What I can say is that all your letters and correspondence will be stored on the child's file so should they ever decide to read it there will be proof that the reasons why letters stopped hasn't been communicated to the agency and that you continued to do your letters in spite of this.