A school one...

[CottonHeadedNinnyMug]

We are now five years in with our wonderful daughter who joined our family just after her 2nd birthday. She goes to a school that I would characterise as 'good' - not an OFSTED judgement but a feeling.

I come from a professional education background so think I'm reasonably well informed. Having said that, I've learnt so much about trauma and its impact that I definitely did not know when I was teaching. I wish I had!

We often feel we are on the recieving end of critique from school about our choices eg. She's anxious about your upcoming holiday so we are experiencing difficult behaviour in school, she's concerned because you are working until late today (one of us is always there to get her, she's never been picked up by anyone other than myself/partner)

I have concerns about unresolved issues, a supply teacher shamed her and another child by making them stand at the side of the room whilst other children were sat on the mat a couple of weeks before Christmas; the obligatory NSPCC assembly and workshop about child abuse happened, they promised to support her if she was triggered, she was, displayed some difficult behaviour and was then reprimanded for the behaviour rather than supported. These are a couple of examples put of a fairly long list.

They claim to be a trauma informed school. Academically she's doing well, but to be honest I think this is fairly irrelevant if they aren't supporting her wellbeing and differentiating for her as a young person who has experienced significant trauma in her life.

I've got no desire to change schools, I think that'd be incredibly disruptive, but what are my options in terms of bringing some additional support to the table? We have regular meetings for her as a PLAC but they don't always follow up on actions as a priority.

The benefit of some experience here would be much appreciated! She's in Year 2 at the moment.

I have an adopted daughter and I teach. In my class I have various SEN children, EAL children, children in care, children with diabetics, children from service families, children going through family break ups, children living in overcrowded homes, children living in caravans and there is just ME!!!!!
It’s absolutely impossible to meet everyone’s needs, it just isn’t possible. You HAVE to do all the trauma, confidence building work yourself. Good luck.

I agree with the poster above. I think you’ve done really well to get the support in place that you have but the realities of the level of need means that it’s so hard for schools and teachers.

I‘ve come to realise that I need to do all that work at home plus extra schoolwork just for dd to keep her head above water as there really isn’t anything coming from school.

I would advise all adopters to complete the adoption survey out at the moment and highlight how the PPP isn’t ringfenced for our children as that would help a little.

I'd start by speaking to the school about what they mean by "trauma informed". Trauma has become the new catchphrase but all too often that "trauma informed" doesn't actually make its way into the class room - it may mean the HT did a day of training, but the classroom staff actually haven't had training or had support to relate that theory into practice. The things you're mentioned are pretty simple to be honest, recognising a child might be triggered by discussions about abuse and recognising the behaviour as stemming from that trigger, being able to recognise that singling a child out is shaming - which isn't a good discipline practice for any child much less a previously looked after child.

Being trauma informed is having a mindset that has empathy and compassion for the child, that looks to anticipate blocks and barriers they may have and put things in place before there's an issue.

Yes teachers have a lot on their plate, but it doesn't take any more time to not leave a child standing at the side, to not reprimand a child for acting out following a difficult presentation, to recognise that every day circumstances will mean the child struggles in class at times.

It's true that teachers and whole schools are stretched beyond what is reasonable. I would put aside the supply teacher incident to focus on the real issues. If regular teaching is hard, just imagine how much harder it is to meet needs in a class of children whose needs you don't even know. I would have expected more understanding after the NSPCC assembly, though. The reality is that the majority of teachers aren't trauma informed. It doesn't mean that they can't be informed, though. What is the school's behaviour policy like? If they have a therapeutic behaviour policy that they aren't following, then I think you would be perfectly reasonable to point it out. If the behaviour policy is not what you want it to be and they are following a policy that you don't agree with, then you might want to start looking at other schools.

I don't agree that it's all on you to sort out trauma yourself and just supply a wonderfully resilient child to school who is ready to learn at the start of each day. Every school has a designated teacher for looked after and post-looked after children to specifically look out for the needs of these children. School can use PPP funding for things like ELSA. School are also the ones who make the referrals to mental health services or any other outside assessments or interventions. It's not all on you. There is also the ASF for therapeutic work. If it takes a village to raise a child then it takes at least a small town to raise an adopted child.

We did move schools. I found it too frustrating to deal with a school who said they were "nurture school" and "trauma informed" but their actions didn't tally.

It really can't all be down to you because, frankly, the school has them for such a huge amount of time. Whilst it's fair to say teachers are stretched, like every public service really, it also sounds like they are getting some basics wrong and nothing that is going to push their time frankly. You can't mop up all their mistakes. It's a partnership, and I'm sorry but they are also expected to be trauma informed in this day and age. A lot of it shouldn't be rocket science for them.

School should have either had a plan on how to support her through the assembly or she should not have attended. They cannot first trigger her and then complain about her being triggered.

These might be of interest to you (they are free): https://www.futurelearn.com/courses/teaching-students-trauma
https://www.futurelearn.com/courses/trauma-neuro-and-shame-awareness

Timpson shoe repairs have small booklets free of charge that take 10 minutes to read that are helpful for understanding trauma. You could give those to the school.

I have come across sheets for pupils with additional needs that read something along these lines:

Pupil: Jane Doe

Please note that:
eg. "Jane was adopted aged 3. Jane has experienced abuse and severe neglect. She suffers from developmental trauma. Jane has experienced severe violence. …"

This means that:
e. "Jane often struggles to focus. She can come across as daydreaming, when she is dissociating (similar to out of body experiences) due to anxiety. Jane has no control over this. Jane is easily distracted from her school work and is very focused on relationships. This is a survival mechanism caused by her early life experiences. Jane goes into “freeze” mode when anxious, which means her high levels of anxiety can go unnoticed."

Please remember to:
eg. "Please praise Jane regularly for effort or achievement to improve her self-confidence, focus and feeling of safety. Check in regularly with her (“Everything okay Jane?”) to help her stay emotionally regulated …. "

Help them to help themselves by:
eg. "Give instructions in small steps to enable Jane to work independently. …"

It is just one sheet with key information and I think most teachers would be able to read it. Maybe that would be helpful? You could say a social worker recommended it.

I’d be very uncomfortable with my child’s trauma being detailed to teaching staff. They need to know how to support her and would be happy sharing that she’s adopted (more for teaching sessions around family, health and wellbeing) but not the circumstances (violence, neglect). That information doesn’t need to be shared for her to receive appropriate support. As a social worker I’d expect that to be held confidently and only shared with the HT on a need to know basis.

I think "Trauma Informed" will normally refer to training from this group: https://www.traumainformedschools.co.uk/ followed by an assessment etc- they give out the "awards" but I'm not sure who is regulating them externally to see whether these awards have actual value!

I work in a school with the "Trauma Informed" award. We had a morning of whole staff training, none of which focused specifically on adopted children. I have taught a few children in foster/kinship care and I know of at least one who would really struggle with the recommended strategies. I did feel that all levels of "trauma" or "adverse childhood experience" were viewed on an equal level- it was very much about the accumulation of ACEs, and didn't really acknowledge that one really major ACE could have a much greater impact on a child.

Following on from that, we were assessed as Trauma Informed, and there has been no follow up training. I've never had training specific to adopted children, unfortunately.

I think what the organisation are trying to do is not a bad thing, but unfortunately I don't think being a Trauma informed school is likely to give them any special/specific expertise in supporting adopted children.

Become a Governor. Raise your profile and it raises your child's. Shouldn't work like that but it does