Medical records for adoption assessment

[Usernamaste]

Hoping to adopt.
30 years ago in my early 20s I had problems (eating disorder/drug use) and had counselling (for eating disorder) for a couple of years via the NHS.
Drug free and no mental health issues for 30 years but have been told by the social worker that my past is problematic and they’re unlikely to want me as an adoptive parent.

There’s a lot more to this but I’m trying to keep it brief.
In short, can they request notes from my counselling sessions, assuming those still exist somewhere?
I know that my GP has to do a medical report but when I previously requested my medical records they are missing until I was approx 35. Social worker is being very obstructive. I don’t know how much info they are going to ask for in order to justify refusing my application.

[BrontëParsonage]

I’m surprised about this, honestly. I’d argue that it was commendable for you to seek professional help to face up to your long- ago demons. As the parent of an adopted teen in the serious throes of an eating disorder, I salute you for having overcome your ED as they can have a tight grip on people for years, if not decades. It sounds like you have come up against a judgmental SW and maybe it would be worth trying to speak directly to their team manager? If not, you could try another agency?

I can only imagine that the SW is overly worried that parenting an adopted child could trigger mental health difficulties anew for you? But, if you can prove/evidence that you have been mentally well and healthy for the last three decades, and you have multiple and robust coping strategies, then I would be tempted to do so. You need a SW who ‘gets’ you and who will challenge you and also champion you; it can be a very unequal relationship as you’re so dependent on their good opinion of you. But, sometimes, it’s not you and it is indeed them! And it is okay to request a new SW.

I would be tempted to find out the statistics from organisations like MIND about the proportion of people who experience difficulties with their mental health within their lifetime. Many adopters who suffer infertility are actively encouraged to seek counselling to help them come to terms with their grief around their loss of the prospect of birth children.

I will add, though, that I have always been blessed to be a person with robust mental health but 15 years into my placement with AD1, I am struggling as the attachment disordered behaviours are so extreme and so relentless.

Good luck!

[Usernamaste]

Our application started in a very positive way with - as you point out - social workers recognising my positive qualities in having overcome my previous problems.
We were then interviewed by a new social worker who came in hard and told me I would never be matched with a child and there was no point in assessing me. She said they would be combing my medical records and would require evidence of my counselling.
This was all in the preliminary stages. She told me that they were refusing to even accept my application, and that they had no obligation to accept my initial forms.

I do not want to supply records from my counselling sessions because they were private and a long time ago. I know that the adoption process is very intrusive but surely not to this extent? It feels akin to asking to read my teenage diaries and completely inappropriate.

[BrontëParsonage]

@Usernamaste I hope that @Ted27 will be along soon to tell you of her lengthy battle to be approved. I think you have two choices: fight or move agency.

[Jellycatspyjamas]

They don’t need access to your medical records, just the medical report which is a standard form. There’s also no reason to share your notes from counselling - simply don’t give permission. She can ask for a report from your counsellor but after so much time there’s nothing relevant she could say to how you are now.

I’d be concerned that she has already made a judgement about your application - the assessment process should be pretty transparent and that prejudgment can lead to thinking errors on her part.

I’d have a very clear meeting with her to explore her thinking - I can give you some questions to guide that discussion - or speak to her manager, what she’s suggesting is both unethical and oppressive in nature. I’d not continue my assessment with her unless you get satisfactory responses to your concerns.

[rihanna4]

I also have recently been told by a VAA that they would want to seek a reference/report from a private therapist I saw over a decade ago. @Jellycatspyjamas if I were to refuse to provide the name of the therapist, wouldn't the VAA infer that I have something to hide, in your opinion?

[Ted27]

hi @Usernamaste it did indeed take me a heck of a long time to be approved ( I won’t frighten you!!!)

My SW had made her mind up about me, on the grounds that I was single. I was never going to get anywhere with her.

It all got horribly messy and really the only think to do was to change agencies. It cost me time but it was worth it in the end - 12 years later I packed my boy off to university in September.

You need an agency that wants you for what you have to offer, so thats my advice. Chalk this one up to experience, look around and find another agency that you can trust.
just be honest with any subsequent agencies about why you are switching.

Best of luck

PS I went to the same gym as said SW. When my son came home I took him swimming there. Whenever I saw I took great delight in calling loudly, come on darling, time to go home, mummys waiting.
Childish I know but there you go. I wanted her to know she didnt have the power over my life she thought she had

[Usernamaste]

Thank you @Jellycatspyjamas
I think you work/worked in social work, if I recall from other threads you’ve been on?
I felt really strongly during the last interview that she had arrived with a great many negative preconceptions about me. This was during a meeting prior to them accepting our Registration of Interest forms, which they refused to accept, and told us that there was no room for appeal at that point. You could only appeal once you’d been accepted onto Stage 1 apparently.
A little time has elapsed now and we plan to resubmit our forms, hoping that she has possibly moved into a new role in the mean time. But we’re concerned that her opinions are now on our file and will prejudice any future assessment.

I’d be very grateful for any suggestions about how to challenge this. Thank you 😊

[Usernamaste]

@rihanna4

I also have recently been told by a VAA that they would want to seek a reference/report from a private therapist I saw over a decade ago. @Jellycatspyjamas if I were to refuse to provide the name of the therapist, wouldn't the VAA infer that I have something to hide, in your opinion?

This is my concern also. If I refuse to comply with any of their requests I will look like I’m hiding something.

[Usernamaste]

Thank you @Ted27
We’re 16 years into our attempt to have a family now! Feels like it will never happen. I’m glad you got there in the end.

[Lwrenagain]

@Usernamaste hiya! I attempted to adopt a couple of times. One SW determined I couldn't which worked out fine for us as a family, however her reasons were utterly crap.
One thing she did though which was very sly was say she HAD to have access to my medical records including my counselling ones. I actually requested them first and read them and the counsellor had recorded things I'd said during an episode of post natal depression where I was just struggling to accept nothing terrible was going to happen to my kids, like a car crash or something. (We had a crash with us all in the car which thankfully wasn't serious at all, but it really impacted me) and I didn't fancy opening that fear back up when I knew she'd made her mind up.
I actually spoke to the main dude who dealt with the counselling records and he told me he found SWs asking to see notes massively intrusive and having read my notes with permission he'd happily give a report that would say nothing documented would pose a risk to me being an adoptive parent however she didn't want that.

The other agency i spoke to wanted us, (we had been foster carers previously also, so the local authorities had offered us a long term Foster child but I didn't want that) however this sw would be liasing with the other agency and she made it clear she'd say no to us even with a different agency. I will say if I hadn't have had my children and that fear of upsetting SWs wasn't so strong, I'd have fought and fought because her reasons were absolutely shite.
I am incredibly lucky to have birth children of my own, including my latest baby who joined our family a couple of months ago now however its heartbreaking to imagine how one SW can be so problematic when it comes to pursuing adoption.

I say stick to your guns, if it's not too triggering read your files if they can be located and then make that choice for yourself if you want to allow anyone access to read them and definitely speak to the counsellor who will write a report on your records, they were open, supportive and helpful in my experience.

I really wish you all the very best with this and hope you're able to have a wonderful adoption process.

If you are successful and would like any help preparing a research or learning log I'd happily send you the lists of things I've read or watched etc x

[Usernamaste]

@Lwrenagain oh wow. That’s awful.
I thought I was getting worked up about nothing but it seems like it’s not uncommon to be told you have to hand over counselling notes. It really does seem so inappropriate to me! When I was having counselling I thought that I was free to talk about anything, in a safe space, and that it would be confidential between me and my counsellor.
I will have to put in a SAR to the clinic and hope that my notes have long since been destroyed.
It feels like a disgusting violating thing to be made to share those private notes, and all my intimate thoughts from 30 years ago. I’m very happy to talk about everything that happened to me, but not for my original notes to be accessed. Absolutely not.

[BrontëParsonage]

@Usernamaste this is the law

Only a judge can order access to notes via a court order. You don't have to share your notes with the police under data protection legislation or to a solicitor. Psychologists should use their professional judgement as to whether to share their notes.

[BrontëParsonage]

We would recommend that you keep your client records for at least 7 years from the date of the last treatment. If you have concerns about any clients, or in the case of a minor, it's best to keep them indefinitely. If you dispose of any records, you should shred them or burn them safely.

Also, the above is how long that professional bodies recommend that counsellors their notes for.

[rihanna4]

@BrontëParsonage That may be the law, but I think the issue is whether an agency is entitled to reject your application on the basis of your unwillingness to agree to disclosure of counselling notes.

[BrontëParsonage]

@rihanna4 knowing what I know now, I would fight this every step of the way - using the letter of the law - or I would simply seek another agency.

[Jellycatspyjamas]

I’d challenge any decision made on the basis of refusal to release counselling notes. The counselling process is inherently confidential and you have a reasonable expectation that your information is held securely. As a practicing therapist I’d not release notes without a court order.

In terms of social work, information they seek needs to be relevant to the assessment they’re making, necessary for that assessment and proportionate. I’d argue that obtaining counselling notes from 30 years ago doesn’t meet any of that criteria. Social workers (some) rely on lay people being a bit scared and being unaware of their rights which is deeply unethical.

Is there another agency you could use if this one doesn’t work out?

[Italiangreyhound]

Lots of good advice and comments. I have nothing to add except Good luck. Xxxxx

[Brendaloves]

Does anyone know if they recheck your medicals after panel approval I.e does the medical get revisited when being approved for a specific child ?