adoption and fostering

[bobbie7]

Hi.
I have a question about how social services access your medical records during adoption and fostering applicatiions. I want to check them first as in my own because I want to be clear about whats on there as i dont want to forget or get things wrong. I also had a situation a few years ago and am worried about it coming up. before I disclose what it is here are there people on here that could advise me and how do I know if it will stay confidential ?
bobbie

[Jellycatspyjamas]

They don’t access your medical records, they will ask you to arrange an adoption medical with your GP who will include anything they feel might be relevant to your adoption process and complete the standard medical questionnaire. The medical report will be held confidential with relevant parts included in the report for the approval panel.

[UnderTheNameOfSanders]

To be honest a situation that you are worried about coming up, sounds like the kind of thing you should proactively mention.

Either it is irrelevant (in which case you don't need to be worried about it coming up), or it is potentially relevant (in which case better you mention it first). Better to say XYZ happened, I have dealt with it by ABC than hide it.

[bobbie7]

thank you for your responses. they have been helpful.
Does any body know if you check your own medical records that it shows up and that it could work against you for looking ?

[Jellycatspyjamas]

No your medical records are private, the information social worker get is really quite limited and they wouldn’t be told you had looked, much less know why you had looked.

[Chocapple]

Obviously I don't know anything about your situation. But this is a general answer...

All I will say is dont try to hide anything. The GP medical will bring up things you've been to the GP about. E.g depression, weight issues, disabilities, illnesses, infertility, IVF, drink, drugs etc.

Always be upfront with the SW's about anything that you've been to the GP about that could have any effect on your Assessment/ your being a parent.

I was worried about a few significant things but was upfront about them in my initial email enquiry. And I gave them all the information about what happened, why, how I dealt with it and how it will affect my parenting. And did it way before I was actually asked.

Instead of the things being seen as negative as I had feared they were seen as a huge positive.

If people dont disclose things/lie that the GP or any other stage 1 check will bring up they will be found out. And SW's will very easily and quickly loose any trust in them.

Good luck with everything.

[Chocapple]

Just to add that for e.g the GP would write on the form a simple: had x illness in 2013. Then if the Agency Medical Adviser wants more info they can ask for it.

[bobbie7]

Hey. It's Bobbie again.
I've been away so just getting these replies now. I really appreciate your input.
I have every intention to disclose all my medical details and experiences and will very much tell my story like a hero.
I really want to get this right so can I ask:-
If I go to my GP and ask them to see my medical records especially a single incident am I then going to have to go through a process with my GP about that specific incident and then disclose this to my SW as a very recent thing that I've done and explain why I chose to do this now.
My reasoning for doing this btw is I can't remember exactly the details of the incident and I want to know for my own interest and to get my story right?
Hope this makes sense
B

[Chocapple]

I will be perfectly honest @bobbie7

I am really struggling to understand what is making you so worried and needing to get your story straight/right.

No one remembers actual details of a visit to the GP. They will just say to the SW for example: I had a MH issue in about 2016 and the GP referred me to a Counsellor.

Forgive me if I am missing something but your posts read that you are either massively overthinking this or you are trying to hide something.

It's clearly something that is causing you a lot of anxiety.

The form that the GP fills in is very short. They would only have room to say e.g 'MH issues on 2016 - self harm. Undertook counselling'. Then the SW would want to talk to you a lot about this and would possibly also ask for further medical information from the GP/Counsellor. Anything other than run of the mill things like a cold that you have been to the GP about will potentially be put on the form.

The adoption Assessment is all about being completely honest with the SW's about things and being able to reflect on what happened, why, what you did to overcome it and what you will do to prevent or deal with the self harm potentially reoccurring after a child has been Placed.

I have just made up a completely random example about a medical issue.

[bobbie7]

Thanks for your reply.
I'm scared about disclosing things on here. That's why it probably seems odd.
Because you don't know my situation.
It is a bit complex you see.
If I chat on here about things it's out there ??

[Ted27]

But we are all anonymous @bobbie7

Like @Chocapple I'm a bit confused. It does sound like you are trying to cover something up.
Unless you are a secret axe murderer, there really should be anything to worry about.
No adopter is perfect - we all have histories - ex partners, medical issues, mental health issues or whatever.
Social workers are more interested in how you dealt with issues in the past, not that it happened

[bobbie7]

Ok.
So about three years ago I came to a point in my life where things had become to much and I had a night with alcohol and ketamine which ended up with me having to call an ambulance because I think I nearly killed myself because I came round from what felt like a near death experience and was having what felt like a seizure and I panicked and had to call an ambulance. I'm pretty sure this will have been recorded and when I disclose this the SW will want to look at the call or file I'm guessing. I can't remember very clearly what I said on the phone call etc and I really want to try and find out for two reasons.
1- It was a life changing experience and it was a catalyst or marker for me to deal with my baggage and seek therapy to process some old trauma and I want to use the date as a marker to ackowledge it in a ritualistic way as I am in a good place now training as a counsellor with a focus on working in trauma.
2- I want to make sure I hear the phone call and get the facts straight for my disclosure. I was very stressed and in panic during the call and God knows what I said. Its a story and experience of strength and courage for me because I reached out for help in a scary way but it wasn't an intentional attempt to end things but I want to know what I said for sure ?
Thoughts very much appreciated
B

[Ted27]

@bobbie7

firstly congratulations on moving forward with your life in such a positive way.

I can see why you might want to hear the call for your own benefit. But I can’t think that a social would or be able to.
They do not have access to your records, they receive a medical report. If I remember rightly it was pretty much a tick list.
What a social worker will want to do is discuss your mental health and how you recovered from that moment and manage it now.
The ketamine is a bit worrying, its not as if its something we have in our first aid kits. So you made an active decision to buy it. So the SW may be concerned about drug use and want to discuss that.
SWs are usually concerned about where you are now, how you dealt with things, rather than just the fact that it happened. They want to know that you would not go down that route again, how you cope know and how you would deal with the stresses of adoption.

[Chocapple]

Hi @bobbie7

Firstly I am so sorry to hear what happened and it was clearly a very traumatic time for you.

What SW's will be interested in is the events leading up to the incident, what happened and how you dealt with it. And how you can now reflect on it, how it has shaped your life and what measures you have in place to deal with any other similar feelings.

SW's won't be interested in the actual phone call or the nitty gritty specific details. I know you are clearly worrying a lot but please be assured that I really see no need for you to look at your medical records. The phone call wont have been kept anyway.

It sounds pretty clear to me that the incident and the phonecall was a huge wake up call and turning point for you. And that you have done an enormous amount of reflection and work on yourself.

Nobody is perfect, many many Adopters have had incredibly challenging times esp MH issues. SW's need Adopters who they are very confident that will be able to deal with potentially very very challenging times. And the best parents for our children are those who have been through the mill themselves.

I completely understand your hesitancy to speak but you have done it now. That was so brave and there was absolutely no judgement from me whatsoever. I think you are brilliant @bobbie7

A SW would ask you lots and you of questions and you will need to dig very deep and talk/write about very personal things.

I'll end this with a little tip... yes you would absolutely need to tell the SW in detail the things relevant in terms of your ability to parent/how you would parent, what are your triggers etc. But there's lots of things you wont need to talk about as it's not relevant. E.g I had a MH issue. I didn't need to talk other than a few sentences about the things I had done. The SW wasn't interested in that... only why, what caused it, my reflections etc.. The SW needed to see that I had got over it and it wasnt raw.

Xx

[Chocapple]

@bobbie7 you have had two of us saying pretty much the same already!

There are lots of regular posters on here and we will be supportive but gently honest with it too.

I will just add that yes the drug use will be concerning - how you got it, and the SW's would need to be extremely confident that it was a complete one off and wont happen again.

My son is my absolute world. He is incredibly challenging but I will say this. I have never ever been thought about my past MH issues. I have to look after him as well as myself. I gave up work which has really helped.

[NickD87]

I wouldn’t worry too much.

You have the opportunity to chat to your GP about issues anyway.
I had self-referred to CBT for anxiety not long before we went through with the adoption and completed the course - it wasn’t a big deal and had the opportunity to discuss the reasons why with my GP and then later on with my social worker. It was all fine.

I also have another medical condition which I was worried about, but the GP was in contact with my consultant at the hospital and it isn’t anything that would impact my ability to parent. This was disclosed to the social workers long before the assessment shortly after our registration of interest meeting. Interestingly, I actually didn’t mention it in that meeting just because a family member came home during the video call and I didn’t want them to overhear it. I simply emailed afterwards and explained and they understood and it was all fine.

Before starting the process I was a bag of nerves about worrying, thinking there was an expectation for perfection. It might just be my experience but so far (nearly time for panel!), the social workers and others involved have been incredibly supportive. Most of what I was nervous about, in terms of medicals and other elements, I needn’t have been.

[mixedrecycling]

I think there are two things here:

• getting your story 'straight' - I wouldn't worry too much about that, be honest about what happened, why, and what you've done about it, but that's 'big picture' stuff and I doubt a SW will pick over the details.
• putting that incident into perspective for yourself. It might be helpful to see if you can have a debrief with your GP/counsellor/practice nurse/ whoever. Someone who can go over the records with you, provide a medical explanation for what was done and why, and hopefully reassure you that they deal with this regularly and what is important is that you have taken it as a spur to make the changes you needed in your life. You were obviously distressed at the time and had taken substances that impaired you, so if it would bring you closure to be able to revisit the facts and fill in any gaps, that might be worth doing. But that is separate from needing to know all the details to tell the SW.

[xxxMRSBxxx]

Hi everyone,
Myself and my hubby are considering adoption after years of failed IVF .

We have done some research and know we need a medical .
What does this involve , is it just the standard blood checks , weight , etc as I’ve read on some forums that some had breast examinations and more thorough checks .

I just want to prepare myself

Thank you