I’m exhausted

[121Sarah121]

I’ve never started a thread but have been posting for a while.

My adopted son is 4 and been home almost a year and a half. I have a birth daughter who is 6.

My sons behaviour has always been challenging. However during the time he has significantly improved. He has developed a strong attachment to me but not my husband. My husband works full time and I returned to work part time 6 months ago.

Anyway. I broke down last week after another really difficult day. My Sw has been very supportive since then but I just feel numb and exhausted. The only time I feel remotely ok is when I’m at work. At home I am distant, grumpy and find myself avoiding my son. Anytime I try to talk to him, he is argumentative and difficult. He is completely pushing me away and I know it. I just don’t want him to go for me and end up in a situation whereby he is completely dysregulated because I don’t feel I have anything left to give to help him through it. I am completely exhausted. I don’t know what to do anymore.

Lovely update OP. All the best to you and your family.

That’s so lovely to hear. I recognise the hiding at work thing, my DH works full time and really needed time where he was caring for the kids on his own to get it - two of you working together is invaluable. I’m glad things have been better for you all, well done on showing such resilience and strength and getting the help you all need.

Lovely OP, well done for surviving this year.

Sarah so sorry things are tough.

Your college was so out of line,. Totally wrong to say that.

My birth daughter was desperate for a sibling. She has really struggled to have a younger brother and she has been hard work! I have sometimes felt guilty that we brought our son into a family with an autistic child (we did not know she was at the time) and she has not always been anywhere near a great sister. BUT we chose to adopt because we wanted her to have someone, we wanted to have someone new in our family, just like any parents who choose to expand their family.

PLEASE ignore me if this is not helpful but would your dh undertake some work with your son, such as Theraplay ( a special kind of Play Therapy) or VIG (Video Interactive Guidance) which could help them build their relationship?

My son is 10 and has been with us 6 years. For the first 3 he was fixed on me. He is now doing lots of stuff with dh, like bike riding and it is lovely to see their relationship grow (but it has taken time). It also means he is less interested in doing stuff with me but it is a price worth paying for me!

XXXX Please ignore if not a helpful comment.