Reece's Rainbow- International adoption of children with disabilities

[DennyDifferent]

Reece's Rainbow is an American charity that raises money to help people adopt children with Down Syndrome and other disabilties from Eastern Europe and other areas of the world. In some of the countries the children will age out at 9 and end up in adult "asylums" reading about this has really affected me. My husband and I have wanted to adopt a child with DS for a long time.

Could anyone tell me is it possible to adopt a child from abroad who has a disability such as Down's and may have related health issues such as a heart condition? I know some people on here have adopted from abroad and it could be said that all adopted children have additional needs of one sort or another but I guess Downs is a more visible and "obvious".

Really struggling to find anything on Google, so even just some help with how to phrase my search to help me find some info on my own would be ace!

xxx

[Italiangreyhound]

I have mentioned to a few people that the information they are revealing is quite specific. Usually I do it by pm and sometimes on the thread. I say they can ask to have a post removed if they are worried by reporting it in case they do not know this, as I did not know it until I was told by someone. I feel until your child is placed you are probably less worried about confidentiality (huge generalisation) but because we had treatment with donor eggs first I was already quite keen to keep my secret identity, secret!

I would want someone to do the same for me if I let something slip accidentally! In fact when I called my son the fictitious name 'Cassius' about three people did inform me. If I had genuinely slipped and written his own name I would be very grateful. As Kew says that information (in the post below) was already on the web.

[Kewcumber]

Yes I'd read that thread. I have been recognised twice in RL through MN posts. It doesn't particularly bother me.

In my very humble opinion you're not going to get very far on the adoption board never having posted before (in that name) and lecturing people on how/what they should be posting. Particularly when the information posted was already in the public domain.

My experience of regular adoption posters are that those who have a need to keep information off the internet do keep their information very closely guarded and when there is an occasional slip or someone new is giving away too much information, people do tend to be quite helpful in pointing it out. So it's not like its a board where generally people are giving away more than they should except when they mean to.

I've not seen a regular name change in order to waggle a finger at anyone yet - but I don't feel strongly enough to engage in a slanging match about it, it was actually the use of we bizarrely that irritated me. From someone who has never posted on here before (in that guise).

But, of course, everyone is entitled to their opinion. as Italian said. But in the absence of a posting history, some opinions are more persuasive than others.

[definitelynotaweirdstalker]

well I might get round to it one day so do feel free to hold your breath. :)

[Kewcumber]

I don't think people are as clear about privacy here as they should be in fact but that is a different post.

I look forward to that post where you tell us about the errors of our ways. I can point you in the direction of actual photos of DS if you need some fuel.

[DennyDifferent]

[definitelynotaweirdstalker]

yes that second one. but the post's gone now anyway so thanks for sorting that out :)

I don't think people are as clear about privacy here as they should be in fact but that is a different post.

good luck op

[DennyDifferent]

and of course it could be you did understand my intentions Definitelynotastalker but you still don't agree with the sentiment. in which case fair enough, adoption is an emotive topic and we're all entitled to our opinions.

[DennyDifferent]

I think you have misunderstood my intentions in posting definitelynotastalker. I'm glad Kew, Devora and Italian that you have understood what I meant.

[Italiangreyhound]

definitelynotaweirdstalker I don't think DennyDifferent was reducing these children to ...to an ethnicity and a medical condition

She was posting on specific part of mumsnet, dedicated to adoption, and she was mentioning two factors because she had been discussing adoption from overseas of children with some sort of disability or specific difficulty. I am generally very hot on confidentiality but in this case I think it was a very innocent comment, it was kind of amazing having discussed overseas adoption and medical conditions etc to find these children. I can say this because I have looked on be my parent a lot and seen relatively few children who would fit these specific criteria.

But, of course, everyone is entitled to their opinion.

[Devora]

When you look at profiles for children you may want to adopt, the initial information you get is pretty much restricted to their ethnicity and medical condition. That, age, and a smattering of the usual cliches: "would benefit from being the youngest or only child in the family", "would benefit from an energetic family", "a lovely child who needs firm boundaries".

[Kewcumber]

I think it's very common to refer to children by very minimal information yes sometimes race and health needs - exactly to minimise the identifying detial or sometimes because you've been given very little more information than that. Sometimes posters will pm with more details if its relevant and one poster has particular insight but won;t want any more than that on a public thread.

I have happily referred to myself as little more than sex and health needs in some threads. What other info are you going to give name, facial features? I assume OP thought race was relevant as she'd particularly asked about intercountry adoption.

So no we couldn't go a step further and say it's not nice, knock yourself out if you want to, but I'm fine with it in this particular case.

[definitelynotaweirdstalker]

and as it's just common courtesy to extend the kind of basic privacy we demand for ourselves to others? and mn is far less private than BMP?

and just maybe we could go a step further and say that it's not very nice to reduce children to an ethnicity and a medical condition?

[Italiangreyhound]

It's on the be my parent website, which anyone can access. But it is best to be cautious because if you did adopt one, and wanted to continue posting under your current name here, then your child would be identifiable (if you see what I mean).

[DennyDifferent]

Although both children were on a This Morning feature a couple of weeks ago, with all of that info plus their names made public too, I think that made me think it was already out there in the public domain. But you cant be too careful so hopefully post will be pulled.

[DennyDifferent]

Reported my post, thanks.

[definitelynotaweirdstalker]

umm. fairly sure you should not be posting such identifying information about children from BMP on an open forum....

[Italiangreyhound]

Great. Enjoy.

[DennyDifferent]

I think the agency was previously affiliated with the catholic church and although it no longer officially has those ties it still recognises that being part of a faith group can be beneficial for adopters, in terms of emotional support. It is for adopters of all faiths, not just the Christian faith, although that is my personal brand ;-) I'm not 100% sure what it will all be about but I will report back tomorrow!

[Italiangreyhound]

Wow Denny how exciting. Your compassion is amazing. A lot of adopters would feel quite daunted by that, I would! Good luck with whatever happens. Adopters of faith, can you say more, please?

[Devora]

Good luck Denny.

[Italiangreyhound]

Please do keep us updated if you do it, it sounds very interesting and you sound very compassionate (as well as well informed).

[DennyDifferent]

Thanks all!

[KristinaM]

Hi Denny

You will want to check that you meet the general requirements for adopting from China. These are quite specific on age, marriage, health and income.