Connor's birth mum described herself as having mild learning difficulties, but I would say they were rather more severe. She was like a little girl and I don't think she had much concept about the damage she was doing to Connor by creating a situation where he had to live with more months of uncertainty. But then again, in the foster mum's situation, I wouldn't have told a 4 year old until it was all finalised.
Birth parents' challenges are common cause of delays in adoption, more usually at the point of awarding the placement order. Many have learning difficulties, mental illness or drug problems and may truly believe what they are doing is in the children's best interests.
I'm going through the adoption process at the moment, currently looking for a match. The programme just reinforced why I'm doing it - sometimes that can get lost when you are so completely taken up by the adoption process and the end result of having a family seems so far, far away.
I thought the documentary was quite good, but there were some unexplained and misleading things in it. What had really happened with the sibling group and their adoptive parents? Why hadn't they actually adopted after 3 years? It seemed a peculiar situation and it was inferred that the prospective parents had just tossed them aside, but I'm sure the situation was far more complex than that.
And where was the represenation of all the BME children that are awaiting adoption for far longer than white children? I suspect that the programme producers decided that this was to difficult and contentious subject to approach, likewise for disabled children.