I've applied to be a full time carer for DN - Question about SS Assessment

[MumGoneCrazy]

My 6month old neice is under SS care and they mentioned adoption to her mother (who has been assessed as unable to care for her) unless family members are willing to step in, So I put my name forward and just before christmas we recieved a letter asking to reply in 7 days to confirm that I am willing to be a full time carer to neice, so I did and have now been told that her social worker will contact me after christmas to do an assessment.

I haven't heard anything yet but it's the christmas and new year period so expected that but was wondering if they make an appointment first or do a surprise visit? And what do they do while here?

Im not hopeful as I have 4DC (DS 10 and 3DD's 5,4 and 15months) and only have 3 bedrooms also DP lost his job before christmas so are now on benefits but would really love to have DN here with family around her.

I haven't actually seen her yet as only people allowed to have contact were my DB and his ex (DN's mother) both supervised in centre.

TIA for replys or for even just reading this

[Kristingle]

mumsgonecrazy - please print out this thread and act upon all the excellent advice that mrsDeVere and others have given you

you must NOT just sit back and wait for SS to contact you - get all the information you need NOW from frg. You will need to become an expert on all this too. its very complicated and will make your head spin but you don't have a choice. You need to be proactive in this - do not rely on your local Sw to explain it all to you - many have little or no experience or training in this.

Your local SS probably have a family already approved for a baby like your niece. Its far easier and cheaper for them to just place her with them. It will cost them time and money to assess and approve you and they may not be falling over themselves to do so. Even though there is evidence that children do better when they remain within their extended family.

Please get everything in writing, a social workers word is not worth the paper its written on.

There is another mumsnetter who got custody of her grandson, hopefully she will come along soon as well

good luck!

[NanaNina]

Mrs Devere - I am not trying to set myself in competion with you, as your post seems to suggest. I had no idea who made the comment about "not allowing" the SS to place a child in foster care and coudn't really bother to look back through the posts. Who had said it wasn't important, I was just trying to clariy the issue about whose responsibility it is to make a care plan for a child needing permanent care. I am merely trying to assist the OP as we all are. I absolutely agree that soc wrks are overworked, often inexperienced, systems under resourced etc. I think in fact this is going to get much worse because of these harsh cuts the coalition is making. I certainly had no intention of being patronising by saying to the OP that all the info can be overwhelming and I'm sure she didn't take it like that. I think you have valuable experience, but the thing is you are talking about your own personal experience in one case, whereas I am looking at the wider picture of many cases in which I have been involved, only in an attempt to help the OP.

I accept that maybe I was a little naieve in advising the OP to leave matters to the soc wrk as it so much depends on the experience of the particulat worker. I can still rememeber the first time I was involved in placing a child for permanency and I was fortunate enough to have the benefit of advice and guidance from experienced colleagues and I know that often that is not now the case.

Can I just say again as others have said that the SSD have a duty to consider any member of the extended family who puts themselves forward to offer a permanent home, before they start looking at approved adoptors. Also they have a duty to assess them and if they think they are unsuitable, they will have tomake their reasons very clear in a report to the judge at the final hearing. Soc workers know that they cannot just turn up and tell the judge that "Mr and Mrs X weren't considered suitable" (used to be like that in the old days but no longer) Judges are very clued up SSD duty to consider extended family members as the first option. Obviously some relatives put themselves forward and it is more or less obvious that the placement will not be suitable, i.e. age of relative (I had an 86 year old granny wanting to care for a 3 year old great grand child) and there are some cases where relatives put themselves forward and then back out,so it is by no means always straigthforward.

Kristingle - you say it is easier and cheaper for SSD to place the baby for adoption as it will cost them time and money to approve the OP. I have to disagree with you because it actually costs more to approve adoptors because they have to attend quite an intensive training/preparation group, and then go through a comprehensive assessment, whereas kinship carers do not have to attend the training group. Adoptors can also be paid an adoption allowance, though this isn't mandatory. Relatives obtaining a SGO can also be paid an allowance but again is not mandatory.

I don't doubt at all that for some relatives, there are problems with the SSD and the assessments etc, but each case is different and it is vitally important as I'm sure we all agree that the child is placed in a family where his/her entire needs are going to be met. No one has a crystal ball and I'm sure soc works get it wrong sometimes (it's called being human) but I can assure you that judges are very astutue in these matters and at the final hearing where the child's future is decided upon By the judge, if heor she thinks relatives have not been properly assessed he will send the soc work off with a flea in her ear to do another a/ment. I know of one case where this happened, quite rightly in my view. There is nothing more important than ensuring that no stone has been left unturned.

Anyway OP hope you don't think I am being patronising by saying a lot of info can be overwhelming, and I am not suggesting you don't contact FRG or look on websites that I have suggested, the more info you have the more prepared you will be. I just think it is important that the info you get is clear.

[MumGoneCrazy]

I have taken everything on board that has been said on here and I thank you all for taking the time to reply.

I did look at the FRG site and they had a notice up saying their lines were closed until the 4th so I will phone them tomorrow when the DC are in school and it's quiet here to get more advice

What exact things to they take into account when assessing a family? Would pets matter? (I have a large 8yr old pedigree chocolate Labrador) Or the fact that my DP smokes? Do they also do police checks?

And should I tell my DC before they come here? Will they ask if the DC know and what their reactions were to it? I haven't told them yet as I don't want them to get excited then let down if it doesn't happen.

[Kristingle]

labrador not a problem

smoking might be - it rules you out as adopters of unrelated babies, but rules for kinship carers are different

you are right not to tell the children until much further down the line

some issues will be :

do you have the time, energy and physical space to take an another child, especially a LO who will need a lot of extra care?

how will you cope if your niece turns out to have special needs? its not uncommon in babies who have been exposed to alcohol or drugs in the womb

can you give her a home for life? if not, you need to let her go to a family who can

what about contact with her birth parenst?

what will be the reaction of your extended family? it will be very hard if they dont support this


just a few thoughts, you will get a much better idea from those who have been through such an assessmnet

[Kristingle]

yes there will be police checks and a medical

[NanaNina]

hi there mumgonecrazy - I would wait to see what the sws care plan is for the child. Every child in care has to have a care plan and if it has been ruled out that the child cannot be returned to their parents, then the care plan will be for permanent care and for a child of this age it would be adoption. However, as we have all stressed they have to consider relatives first. When the sw visits, they should tell you what the care plan is, adoption or posssible Special Guardianship Order (often used in cases like yours). If you just type Special Guardianship into google you will get a wealth of information, but I think it could all be a bit overwhelming at this stage (incidentally I hope you don't think I am being patronising by saying that as someone has suggested) I just think something like this can be overwhelming, especially when you are emotionally involved.

You can get a list of the things that are taken into account on some of the SGO sites, but it is things like parenting capacity, (how you were parented, how you parented your own children and how you will parent this child) Pets are ok so long as you can control them and I can't imagine an 8 year old lab who must be very used to children will pose any threat.

The smoking issue could be a problem. There is a section of the a/ment on health and safety and I think the fact that your DP smokes will be an issue. Foster carers are not allowed to foster children under 2 if there is a smoker in the house because of the dangers of passive smoking. Yes they carry our CRB checks (police checks)from your current address and any previous addresses where you have lived. I always ask people if they have any offences, so that I know whether it is something that will prevent the child being placed, such as any offences involving children or violence etc. Having past offences does not automatically rule people out, much depends on how long ago they were and what they were.

I think it is sensible not to tell the children yet, as you are at a very early stage. I think maybe you are trying to "run before you can walk" if you don't mind my saying it. Take it slowly and wait to hear what the sws have to say, and if you want to contact FRG that is fine. I know you are being urged to do so by Mrs Devere and it sounds as though she got a lot of important advice from them. However I think it is best to start off by thinking that the soc work will explain everything you want to know and will be open and honest with you. If then you are concerned you can always get further advice, but it doesn't really matter which way round you do it. It's just that if things go wrong for one family, it doesn't necessarily mean that you will be in the same boat.

As I said to you before I think the biggest problem will be that number of small children you already have and how you will share yourselves between 5 children, the younest one who will need extra special care. I may be wrong but that would certainly be a concern for me BUT it may not be for the sw who assesses you. Most people actually find the assessment much better than they had anticipated and some even enjoy it, so relax and take one step at a time.

Yes the view of the children (at least those old enough to understand ) will be important and you will need to talk to them if it looks as if SSD are going to assess you. At this stage they will be doing what is called a "viability assessment" which means looking tto see whether it is viable to begin a comprehensive assessment on you, or whether there are concerns that they feel cannot be overcome, which they will have to discuss with you.

One day at a time mumgonecrazy - one day at a time......I know that's easy for me to say when I am not emotionally involved but it is the best way in the long run.

Have you had any contact with the SSD - do you have a date for their initial visit - if not I qould get onto them asap so that you can get things moving.