Dd school attendance very low

[Schoolstress14]

66%

Due to lots of medical appts (didn’t think these were counted towards attendance?)

Frequent illness (severe gynae issues possible endometriosis?, Viral illness with very high fevers, one episode of d and v (lasted a week) and time off after a minor injury

Ive sent proof of everything as requested but now school want a meeting I can’t get more time off so explained it has to be a phone call as well but they’ve said I’m not engaging so they have to involve the LA? Can they do that ?

Yes, of course they can. Your child's attendance is very low and the LAs attendance officers should already be aware of them. Will they accept a video call?

I’m not sure why though - everything has been verified and proof for all appointments and the LA can’t fine for genuine illness. Dd is waiting for appts for more tests so everything is being dealt with there’s literally no more I can do. They said it has to be a face to face meeting

I’ve got a meeting tomorrow about my daughters but her attendance is 84! X

dd has been begging to be home educated I’m now seriously considering if this is going to be better for us

The school have been supportive with a toilet pass etc but that doesn’t help with the pain and flooding and feeling faint (anaemia) and we are waiting to see a doctor to see if we can get better pain relief as due to be under 16 the gp wasn’t happy to prescribe stronger and said it had to be initiated by a consultant so we have to wait

If you are at work you are at work.

Email them and let them know when you are available. If they really want face to face then they will put it at a time you can make.

If she is ill and you have evidence there is not much they can do.

Your update changes things a little. I would get in touch with the LA, provide all evidence and explain because of the amount of time you've had to take off work you cannot make the meeting, but are happy to dicuss on a phone or video call.

It's to put the fear of God into you, they're good at that.
It's laughable when so many teachers are always off sick.
I would tell them you don't have time for their silly games as in making you feel a failure for doing the right thing and arranging medical appointments. You've sent them the information they need, they can do what they want with it.

I’ll request a video call again as I don’t think they realise this has affected me too ! I’ve had issues with time off due to dd being unwell so I just can’t have more time off for a meeting but if it’s a video call I could do it at lunch

They can involve the LA but if your DD is ill (and she clearly is) and you can evidence that (and you can) there are limits to what they can do.

66% is ridiculously low! The local authority are most likely already very aware.
It means she’s missed approx 82 days or 412 hours of learning so far this year. I would say it’s in your best interests to start engaging.

I’ve sent them proof of everything even when she’s been unwell I’ve had a gp appt or call so it’s logged and I then screenshot that plus all the appt letters and sent photo of prescriptions a couple of times to prove we had sought medical advice / verified illness

Rachel1509 I think the OP has described the situation well and has not said or implied she is not engaging.

I am engaging- I provide proof and I’m happy to have a video call - they are saying anything other than face to face is not engaging but I think that’s unfair when I have to work

Also it is common for GPs to be reluctant to prescribe for gynae issues in teens.

I had to virtually threaten our GP with taking my DD to a private gynae before he'd prescribe anything.

Non prescription ibuprofen and paracetamol will help with the pain. GPs can also prescribe mefenamic acid or naproxen sodium both of which are good for period pain. Tranexamic acid can help with the heaviness.

My DD eventually went in the pill and would run two packets together this halving her number if periods.

I don’t even know what it will achieve unless the school / LA can hurry up the waiting list situation for gynae referrals but I doubt they have power over that ?

I had similar gynae issues and my GP just prescribed the pill when I was 13. I needed to take 3-4 packets back to back to minimise my periods through the year and the disruption to my education and life. I know it might not be want you want to hear, but I’d 100% be cutting down the periods until she is engaged with specialist management. That kind of impact is way too much on her life.

Sorry I misinterpreted the original post that you weren’t engaging when it said they thought you weren’t engaging?

If the school genuinely want to support then surely they could arrange a meeting around your work hours? It might be worth meeting with them to see what they can do to help? Maybe online tuition when she’s too ill to attend school?

I can see why you’d be thinking about home schooling, but how is that going to work if you’re at the limit of your time off? I suppose if you work from home, it might be doable.

The gp won’t prescribe as dd has a history of migraine

Isn't it possible that the meeting is to discuss ways of helping your daughter in school and how to reduce absences this way. Why rush to the worst conclusion?

I don't know how home schooling will be possible if you haven't got time for a meeting.

There’s no difference in person or video call though? I’m not saying no to a meeting I just need it to fit into my schedule.

If we did decide to home educate dh works from home so there would be an adult in the house in case of emergencies and we would probably get tutors for some subjects

A married couple of teachers at DD’s school literally took it in turns to take 6 months off on stress leave at a time as they got a dog with separation anxiety. Only reason I know it’s true is that DD was good friends with their daughter or else I’d think it was a wind up. It’s ridiculous!!

I really, really feel for you. DD1’s attendance has been really low due to similar issues. They are as rare as hen teeth, but I would strongly recommend finding a paediatric gynaecologist. I can PM you details of the consultant we have, but it obviously depends where you are in the country.

I see your daughter also has a history of migraines - same as mine. There are other options for the pill available, such as the mini pill (mine takes this, plus has the implant fitted). People often dismiss DD’s illness/health, but it is so debilitating for her. Devastating. It’s such a worry, I know.

Thankyou that would be helpful we are in London