How will autistic ds manage in his life? Constantly worrying.

[whatstobecomeofus]

I have a 17 year old ds who has just received his autism diagnosis. He couldn't go to school because of being bullied and did online schooling instead. He's now doing a Btec at college.
He has medication for his anxiety and me and dh (both autistic) keep him right with everyday life and keep him feeling safe.

I'm constantly worried about what will happen to him once we're dead and don't know what will happen to him. How will he earn a living and what benefits might be available etc. We took him for shoes yesterday and he didn't cope with the music in the store (he forgot his noise reducing earbuds) and it made me realise just how affected he is. We have no extended family or friends. I'm scared for the future, what can I do? Where do autistic people live and work? Dh and I had to give up work but we don't claim benefits. I don't know the system. What will the jobcentre do with him?

Any advice is welcome because we don't really know what goes on.

[Phineyj]

Just wanted to say OP, that I have found this thread really helpful and encouraging so I hope you have too.

[Ted27]

My son is 17 and has ASD. When he was younger I used to worry about him so much so I get where you are coming from.
Its not that I don't worry about him now,more a recognition that he will get there is his own time.
There is no rush to do or achieve things at the same time as everyone else.
We are working on life skills very slowly, I pick one thing at a time and work on that. When he is confident we move on to the next thing.
There are many careers open to him now where he wouldnt have to be in environments that stress him. And its important that he understands that he doesn't have to put himself in stressful situations, or we help then find strategies to manage them

It's easy to say don't worry he will be fine, he probably will, but needs help getting there.

[lunarlandscape]

@Lessstressedhemum

I'm sure that he will be fine. I was told my 2 eldest ds's would never be able to leave home because of their autism. One of them had to.be pulled from school and be home educated because he couldn't cope with school without substantial support which the school weren't prepared to give him.
He is now a high school science teacher living in Thailand. The other, ds1, is a married nuclear chemist. They both still have a lot f issues but have found coping strategies which work for them. I'm sure that your son will, to, given time.

What a lovely post. I hope with all my heart that my own DS's life heads in that direction.

[flimflammingo]

I live independently and ckaim ESA and PIP. I have a care package from social services which funds eight hours a week support workers to help with whatever I need them to- bills, phone calls, shopping, medical appointments . When I was at uni the support was excellent.