Getting a panic button for elderly mum

[BinkyBoinky]

Hi my mum has asked me to look into getting her a panic button as she's finding her mobility is getting difficult and she lives on her own. Has anyone done this and can they recommend a system? I can see councils do them (means tested) - but are they any good? I always think of councils as inefficient.. and I would want a service that would respond fast if there was an emergency.

I'd love some recommendations please. Would a private service be better than the council/NHS, and if so which one?

[Saz12]

I know telecare! Dad had it as he was very susceptible to falls.

You press the button, it connects you to a call centre, who will then either send someone out or call an ambulance.

Sounds great, right?

Except that they aren’t 24/7...
And Dad frequently had to wait hours (literally) for anyone to help. A three-hour wait was considered “acceptable”, they wouldn’t notify me of him having fallen and having to wait that long for help...even though he was lying on a cold tiled floor in winter. They claimed it was because he lived rurally, but in reality they just don’t have enough people to send anyone out.
Occasionally they’d phone me as “noobs was available to help for at least 5 hours”, which was better than him waiting, but lived a couple hours away, worked full time, and had school run to work around... which is why we used Telecare to start with!!!!
Their central”hub” was a 45 minute drive from Dads house, so none of it was really excusable.

If you needed an ambulance they’d be great, as they’d just put the call through.

[BinkyBoinky]

@Saz12

I know telecare! Dad had it as he was very susceptible to falls.

You press the button, it connects you to a call centre, who will then either send someone out or call an ambulance.

Sounds great, right?

Except that they aren’t 24/7...
And Dad frequently had to wait hours (literally) for anyone to help. A three-hour wait was considered “acceptable”, they wouldn’t notify me of him having fallen and having to wait that long for help...even though he was lying on a cold tiled floor in winter. They claimed it was because he lived rurally, but in reality they just don’t have enough people to send anyone out.
Occasionally they’d phone me as “noobs was available to help for at least 5 hours”, which was better than him waiting, but lived a couple hours away, worked full time, and had school run to work around... which is why we used Telecare to start with!!!!
Their central”hub” was a 45 minute drive from Dads house, so none of it was really excusable.

If you needed an ambulance they’d be great, as they’d just put the call through.

Oh that sounds fantastic, crossing it off the list then!

[NannyR]

We had the council provided one for a relative and found it very good - they would contact a named family member first, if they couldn't get in touch they would send someone round to check on the situation.

[saraclara]

We had a council one for my late husband, when I was nursing him (arranged by MacMillan for us) so that I could go to the supermarket etc.
If he pressed the button someone from the control centre would speak to him via the unit in his room. Their first port of call was the neighbour across the road who had agreed to give them her number, as she would be able to attend to any emergency quickly. But if they didn't get through to her they would call 999.

A key safe was part of the deal, and the call centre had the location and the PIN on their system, so they could pass it on to paramedics.

[SadiePurple]

Our local system is about £30 a month, like previously mentioned all it does is contact the local call centre, they then phone the listed point of contact.
DH's aunt had it, but on the occasion she did actually need help she refused to use it as she "didn't like to bother them"

We bought MIL a mobile phone that has an alert button on the back, preprogrammed with our phone number, she presses that and it will dial us. £8 a month on contract, plus she can obviously use it as an actual mobile phone, it's quite basic and easy to use. She just has to remember to carry it at all times.

[BinkyBoinky]

She doesn't £%$@/! want one now! As soon as I told her she'll probably have to wear a pendant/wristband she said "Oh, I don't want to do that, I'm not that bad yet."

Honestly!

[saraclara]

You might have to try to guilt her into it. Tell her that you worry and would feel better of she had one.

My very active and super healthy mum had a stroke. She was lying on the stone floor of her cottage overnight, and was only found by chance, by a neighbour that my mum had offered to take somewhere that morning. She nearly died of hypothermia.

I'm only in my sixties, but even I sometimes think I'd feel happier with an alarm, because of my mum's experience (and the familial risk of stroke).

[mommybear1]

Same issue here OP my DF has had two falls in quick succession during lockdown and couldn't get to the phone initially it took him about 4 hours to crawl/pull himself along. He was all for a monitor but didn't want a wearable device. We sorted his mobile phone to have a 5 person sos call he just presses a button. However I did point out to him that he would have to be conscious to press the button so we found this wristband - it's taken 2 months but we've now talked him into it.

[sueelleker]

We've got a CareLink Plus. It's a dual-action; if my husband falls, the air pressure activates it, and he can also press the button in emergencies. He wears it round his neck. There is a box connected to the land-line, and CareLink call to ask if he's OK. They have the phone number of a neighbour, who agreed to do it, and if she's not in they call 999 for us.

[dementedma]

I'm always concerned that she cant press her alarm if she is unconscious so will check out the wristband
She has an Alexa..how do we programme it to call people?

[mineofuselessinformation]

SureSafe also do one with a built in fall detector.
It's advantage is it uses mobile technology and GPS, so it doesn't need a landline (calls go straight to the pendant), and can be used away from home.
We got one for DM after a nasty fall and she does use it, despite being sceptical about it.
They also call her if the battery is getting low, and will contact me, her neighbour or emergency services if needed (like if she falls and doesn't respond to a call to check on her).

[JaJaDingDong]

@dementedma

I'm always concerned that she cant press her alarm if she is unconscious so will check out the wristband
She has an Alexa..how do we programme it to call people?

If the Alexa and the mobile phone are connected to the same WiFi, that's all you need to do.

Say "Alexa call dementedma", or what ever you're listed as in the phones contacts, and the phone will call you. Alexa acts as the loud speaker/microphone, so you don't need the phone in your hand.

[Purplewithred]

Get a standard alarm as well as an echo. They now come with a button that can be worn on the wrist so if your DM falls she will still have it with her. They are waterproof so dont have to come off even in the shower, so tend to stay on unlike pendants which are more often taken off. There is always someone to answer the alarm and help decide what to do next, 24/7. They are all pretty much identical, shop around to see who has the best offer at the moment, and they are dead easy to set up.

[Thelnebriati]

Don't rely on her being able to talk well enough to instruct Alexa if she has a fall. Can you program it to react to an alarm (such as a keyfinder) she can carry?

[saraclara]

Alexa would have been no use to my mum. If you have a stroke or heart attack, instructing Alexa will fail. You won't be able to speak loudly or clearly.

If someone has a button to press but can't speak, the silence and unresponsiveness is enough for the company to call the contact or paramedics.

[MrsClatterbuck]

Check out Age UK as they do personal alarms. My mum has one but not Age UK which is the one I wanted her to get. The one she has has a box connected to the telephone line and she has a pendant. If she presses the pendant they will call her and if no response will call the 1st contact on list. I have 3 names. I think they can call emergency services and they can enter house if they have a key lock and have passed on the code to the company.

[CloudyGladys]

Contact your local council. Ours have a Tech Team who came and set up monitors in my Nan's house for a fortnight. Based on the data of when and where she went in the house, they issued her with a wrist-watch style falls alarm, a chair/ bed alarm if she was out of her chair or bed for more than a certain length of time during the night (the falls alarms can miss a fall if it’s not a sudden drop), a new button pendant, and could have installed door monitors if she'd needed them.

If any alarms were activated, the system phoned Lifeline, who would speak to her on a box in the living room. Based on her response or lack of response, they might work their way through a contact list of family members, call the emergency services or send out their own care team. Cost a bit over £3 a week. No need for WiFi, it works on the phone line.

Need to have a key safe so their care team or the emergency services can enter.

If she would consent, consider setting up a WiFi camera with an app on the phones of whoever are the family contacts, then they can see what the situation is when Lifeline phones.

[frogface69]

Where I live, Gateway to Care issue a box linked to a phone line. DH used to fall a lot and I couldn’t pick him up. He had a button on a necklace to press, or I just pressed a button on the box to get help.
It was a boon. About 16 pounds a month. I can’t remember exactly.
I am seriously considering getting one for myself after a fall recently.

[frogface69]

Posted too soon, sorry. You do need a key safe. It’s a one off payment and I still have the one I got for DH .

[sueelleker]

@MrsClatterbuck That's the same as ours.

[howtofeelthings]

My mum has one connected to the council; has a wrist one and a button by the phone . If she presses it they can try to get a verbal response from her and if not, they’ll send out carers or an ambulance/police . She has a key safe as well .

At the time of setting it up we were told you can also connect it to a bed mat (to detect seizures), and mats on the floor/possibly the front door to detect falls and movement . Probably less relevant if someone is safe enough to be at home alone but good for hospital/care home based care - I am convinced I remember trialling one in a hospital whereby if a patient stood up out of bed overnight we had an alarm sound .

Council were a bit iffy at first as apparently you need three key holders to live within 4 miles of the person (which wasn’t possible) and it’s relatively expensive (£15 a month) .

I also found my mum used it continually (mental health issues) - I was getting calls all day and night from them saying she had pulled her alarm, could I come home and check her . No way of knowing if each call was serious .

Now trying to persuade my 80 yo grandmother she needs one . Easier said than done sadly .

[HMSSophie]

A pricey solution but ... my new AppleWatch asked me if I wanted to set up an auto contact thing should it register that I have fallen.

You list a name or two as your emergency contacts. If you fall and it doesn't get a response from you, within I think 2 minutes it rings those numbers and sends them a text.

[felineflutter]

Lifelines are the best as you will get the right help. They will have a falls response team who come out 24/7. I would call the local Council for information.

[ICouldHaveCheckedFirst]

Our local council provided a service for PILs, for a monthly fee. Initially with a wristband with a button they had to press. They never pressed it.
Later the council upgraded to a pendant which contained both a button and an accelerometer (which detected a sudden fall). Activating either resulted in an immediate call from the council support team. PILs were deaf and didn't usually respond so someone attended to check on them. (occasionally it activated unnecessarily while we were and we were able to advise the council no action was required). The council staff called an ambulance if necessary. They would also call DH for backup if (for example) there was no immediate risk but FIL sometimes wouldn't go back to bed.

DH was able to check the call logs and let's just say it was value for money!

[sueelleker]

@allhowtofeelthings We have a bed seizure alarm connected to ours as well. We only have our neighbour and myself as emergency contacts though. I don't think it's compulsory to have 3.