Just a little ‘proud of myself moment’ So today I made my point....

[Inarightpickleandpreserve]

I’ll start with explaining I was extremely exasperated and that the children know that when I say something I mean it!

The answering back today was unusually pushing the boundaries which I get that’s what children do, however it felt today like they were almost testing me to just double check if I definitely would proceed with what I say, if that makes sense!

DP was in the garden and so didn’t hear, but I said to the children that (after a few warnings of do t speak to me like that) if they continue I will be so cross and disappointed in their behaviour I’ll go out with the WiFi box and confiscate this along with Nintendo for a week.

They looked at me like yeah right, I said so are you done with the attitude?

Eldest looked nervous but pushed it and said yeah whatever.

So I said ok that’s fine go play outside see you in a bit, off they went.

I got my bag, unplugged the WiFi box, got the Nintendo things, removed all batteries from every single item including fairy lights, other remotes, and for good measure put both laptops in a shopper bag. Went out the back said to DP ‘just popping out!’ To which they all waved me off.

I was out for 5 hours. With my phone off, I did text DP to say what had happened so he knew and always backs me up, but then my phone went off.

I got the result I wanted and apologies but I’m so proud of myself for staying out and really really making my point not just half hour!

Think we are all on same page now!!

[SmileyClare]

A great tip above to remove the fuse from the Nintendo equipment. You could also change the password on the WiFi. Thus you're following through with a consequence, without having to pack up a fuck ton of electrical equipment and haul it all out of the house in shopping bags.

I agree with pps, better to present a united front with dp on parenting, i.e. let him know what you're doing and why.

He sort of got lumped in with the punishment poor sod. He might have wanted to use the internet at some point.

And (sorry for all this criticism!) but it's best if you're out for the a long period to be contactable by phone in case of emergencies?

In summary, Well done although room for improvement in your delivery

[SoupDragon]

@emmyhelly

surely you just tell them they’re not allowed to use their consoles or whatever and that’s that?

😂😂

[emmyhelly]

surely you just tell them they’re not allowed to use their consoles or whatever and that’s that?

[willowmelangell]

Well done on giving warnings and following through!
I wonder if dc will push you again?

[Candyflosscookie]

Teaching your children it's ok to flounce out and not come back or be in touch for 5 hours is really great parenting Op. Not. You should just be able to take the tech away and that's it. They should respect that, and if they don't, then you've got real issues. Why did you need to go to such extremes to "win"? Weird.

[BikeRunSki]

@HollowTalk - I believe it was his wife's idea in the first place.

[MissHoney85]

Good on you for following through OP. However, I would say that the "OK that's fine then" / "just popping out" / waving happily as you take all their things stuff feels satisfying but is quite passive aggressive and not a very effective way of communicating the message to your children. If they've stepped over the line then you need to be clear with them about that. "Saying 'yeah whatever' is disprespectful, so I am going to have to remove your Nintendo like I said I would."

I would also not go further than you threatened - if you told them you would take the Nintendo and the WiFi then that should be what you take. No need to go further out of anger and take the remote controls and laptops too if that wasn't part of the warning. Are you going to keep the Nintendo and WiFi from them for the whole week as you threatened, or just the five hours? You need to make sure that what you threaten is exactly what you deliver - no less but also no more.

[thevassal]

The DCs probably had a better time playing in the garden with their dad than they would have on their playstation anyway! more of a punishment for him really!

Also if only the eldest said something that sounded even the tiniest bit snarky why did they all get (quite drastically) punished?

The other poster above re: taking the fuse out of a plug is a brilliant idea though, saves faffing around with routers, cables, etc. (or carrying around two laptops in a shopper and is something most DC wouldn't have a clue how to replace!

[HollowTalk]

@BikeRunSki

About 15 years ago I had a line manager who covered 3 offices (dispersed team) and he spent a lot of the week away from home. He used to take his kids console leads with him, so essentially they got one charge’s worth of playing during the week. I thought this was genius!

You mean he took any decision making away from his partner, who had to cope with the children at times when the consoles might have been a real help for her?

[BlushingBrightly]

People love going 'ah, you thought that was a good thing but actually it was a TERRIBLE thing' on threads like this.

[RantAndDec]

Just to frame it differently from another perspective-
Our DC were playing up and DP was struggling to cope. She told them off, then disappeared without a word, taking their tech. She sent a text but was then unreachable by phone, so I had to deal with the fallout of her punishment. She left for five whole hours. She was triumphant at her victory over the DC when she came home, but of course I was the one who actually had to deal with them.

[dollypartonscoat]

Erm, I know I can put batteries in wherever I like @SoupDragon

However, the OP needed to flounce for 5 hours to implement a week long tech ban. Makes no sense

[MonsteraDeliciosa]

It’s great you followed through on your threat, but you shouldn’t have to go out for hours or switch your phone off in order to discipline your children . Nor remove any batteries, actually.

[WorraLiberty]

Sounds fair enough OP.

Except the bit where you decided on a punishment and then left your DP to deal with the fallout.

I wouldn't be happy at all if my DH did that.

[SoupDragon]

Will your DP not be allowed the battery in the remotes either for a week?

You know you (and thus the DP) can just put batteries back in when you want to. Use them, right?

[Babdoc]

I think prevention is better than cure. I raised my DC to respect me from the start, so they wouldn’t have escalated to this level. I also made clear that I respected them in return - I apologised to them if I was in the wrong, always knocked before entering their rooms, gave them age appropriate choices of activities rather than dictating to them, and encouraged discussion and listened to their opinions.
It made for a relatively peaceful house - there were a few hormone fuelled arguments during the teenage years, but nothing major, and certainly nothing that would have made me flounce off with their batteries!

[PuppyMonkey]

Well yes, he probably coped fine I just think the OP is taking the credit for her genius plan when she didn’t do any of the work involved in implementing it.

[RightOnTheEdge]

It's good you are happy and got the result you wanted.

I don't know why it had to be quite so extreme though. I would be a bit pissed off I think if I was your partner.
My ex used to say I'm going out for 5 mins, half an hour or whatever and disappear for hours leaving me with the dc all day it was shit.

[slipperywhensparticus]

piss not oiss

[slipperywhensparticus]

The batteries on the fairy lights so they can't use those on the remotes

I'm assuming OP needed to be out for thst long not that she stayed that long to oiss her disrespectful children off

The dad seems to have coped with it just fine he is clearly a parent to his children

[PuppyMonkey]

I support the idea OP but I’m sorry, I don’t agree with you doing this and then going out and leaving your DP to deal with the fallout without talking to him first and then being unavailable for so long. Your DP didn’t even hear the argument is that right?

. If my DP had done that I would have been cross with him.

[InfiniteSheldon]

Aah I used to take controllers and remotes to work if they'd played up good on you

[BoggledBudgie]

oh yeah parent of the year there..... not.

[dollypartonscoat]

Also what was the point in staying out for 5 hours when you've told them it's all gone for a week?

Will your DP not be allowed the battery in the remotes either for a week?

[dollypartonscoat]

"The fairy lights was the icing on the cake! I want to be you when I grow up!"

Really? I thought this was really childish. Why would anyone care (or even attempt to turn on) fairy lights? Bet they didn't even notice the battery had gone.

If you don't want them to play on the switch just tell them not to surely?