Do you prioritise bigger house or more disposable income?

[Pepperwand]

Firstly, I know we're very lucky to be in a position where this is even a choice but I seem to change my mind on this matter weekly so would appreciate other thoughts and perspectives.

Live with DH and two young DC (preschooler and baby) in a small 3 bed. Love the area and house in general but have niggles which are mainly no hallway....front door opens into living room, no downstairs loo and no option to put one in and small children's bedrooms....one is a very small box room. No easy way to extend either because of the plot we're on.

We could afford a bigger mortgage as manage to save a few hundred a month and won't have nursery fees in a few years so part of me feels that it's a no brainer and we should just move somewhere bigger and accept bigger debt. Other half of me thinks that if we like the area and have a house we can easily afford then we should just Marie Kondo the heck out of it and enjoy less "stuff" and more flexibility in terms of disposable income, options to pay off the mortgage early/save for children's future etc.

Did anyone have similar circumstances? What did you do?

[Time2change2]

House every time. Stretch yourself as much as you can (without getting into trouble). It feels hard at first but within a few years wages go up and mortgages usually stay the same (in this current climate anyway!) over the years the mortgage doesn’t seem as bad and you have a sound investment.
It’s so nice to have the extra room, more storage space, more space to breathe and have people over. Disposable income gets frittered and there are so many nice places to go for free!

[UnicornW]

Out of my whole group of friends, we have ALL gone for the bigger house. I could not cope living in a tiny place with young kids. My kids have large bedrooms with en-suites and a big playroom. Even my parents who didn't have much money upgraded our house when my brother and I were young. I think it's what the majority of people choose to do as they get older and have kids and spend a lot of time at home.

[Sarahbeans]

We prioritised spending money and living. My view is that life is for living, so we have prioritised that and I have never regretted that decision.

When we moved to our current house, we actually downsized, our last house was much bigger, but where we are now is in a much nicer location with fantastic schools. We are now in a lovely village, where we have made excellent friends and have a great social life. Children are older teens now, and a simple garage conversion has given us all the space we need. But we don't need much as usually we are out so much.

In all the houses we have bought, we have never maxed out our mortgage and out of the past 20 years, I have only worked full time for 4 of them. I could have a much bigger house if I worked full time, but I'd rather not, I'd rather have a very busy, full and enjoyable life - with a small mortgage. We also have the security that if one of us lost our job, we could cut our outgoings and cope.

It works for us.

[notangelinajolie]

For the long term, bigger house is the best investment.
If your have a more live today, pay tomorrow mentality then chose the latter.

[Sarahbeans]

@notangelinajolie

*"If your have a more live today, pay tomorrow mentality then chose the latter."

Why do you assume that it is pay tomorrow? We chose the smaller house to enjoy life, but not to pay it tomorrow. I have nothing on credit for example, I paid outright for my car. I guess I am just less materialistic than other people because I don't need or want to have the biggest house / latest things and I'm content with that. But I just wanted to say it's not a dichotomy. You can have a life is for living approach without choosing to pay it all off later / living on credit.

[cologne4711]

Disposable income and paying off the mortgage as quickly as possible.

[Sarahbeans]

I should say I do have a mortgage but that is the only item I have that I don't own outright.

[SillyCow6]

Yes children get bigger and need more space but they also get more and more expensive!! Also eventually, although they themselves get bigger, they stop having toys so you can be even cleverer with space then. If you are comfortable in the house and area you're in then Id say stay where you are, get clever storage. Id have to be honest and say Id rather have more than one loo, could you squeeze in a tiny en suite anywhere in a corner upstairs? That would be the only thing to get me wondering about moving from a house I am otherwise happy in and can comfortably afford to save alongside it. Too many people live on the never never, Id choose to be sensible and save money I think in your situation

[2pinkginsplease]

We have gone for the small house and the larger disposable income, we bought a 2 bed house before having our children and have split one of the bedrooms into 2 rooms so we now all have small bedrooms. Would prob be a hassle if we were to sell but works for us. It’s in an ok area, schools are good and our neighbours are lovely too. I’d much rather have more money to make memories, holidays, days out, treating ourselves without thinking if we can afford it, dinner out. My mortgage will be paid off in less than 6 years if we had bought big we would probably have to have a mortgage for another 10 years on top of that hat!

A bigger house for me is just more clutter, more cleaning and more money,

[BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz]

We managed to find a bigger house at the same mortgage repayments as our smaller home we sold - we moved just outside the "naice" part of town.

We are now in a block of streets which are identical to those in the "naice" part but are nearly all rented out/HMOs. Its certainly less tidy around here.

We plan on staying a long time though, and figured the only direction the nice part of town can go is outwards, slowly.

Its a gamble. But having to now spend almost 100% of our time at home both WFH and home edding etc, the space has been a godsend - and the fact that we are still paying cheap mortgage has meant we didn't need to worry if one of us was furlpughed/made redundant.

[anon444877]

You have to decide what’s right for your personalities on money and activities - we went for more space as we don’t have many outside hobbies and all love being at home doing home based hobbies.

[AliasGrape]

This is playing on our minds at the moment. Have a small 2 bed house with a real lack of storage (by contrast I’ve a relative with a 2 bed flat which is overall smaller but she seems to have at least double the storage). It’s been fine for us, I’ve never loved the house really but it’s in a nice area, walkable into the village centre, lovely neighbours and it’s affordable. We’re expecting a baby next month and we definitely still felt at first that the house will be enough for us and 1 DC.

I would have always said I’d rather have the disposable income. We went away 2, usually 3 times a year plus the odd weekend and that mattered more to me. We’re not big spenders in other ways - drive old cars, don’t buy expensive clothes, no costly hobbies, DH is more of a saver and I’m learning to be more like that too! But to be able to go away when we like, as well as eating out when we fancy, grabbing theatre or concert tickets, or spending extra on the food shop because we feel like some treats - that was important to us.

However, DH having to work from home during lockdown has changed things a bit. He’ll continue to need to work from home at least some of the time for the foreseeable and he needs a fair bit of desk space and equipment. It’s just highlighted the space issue and that, plus trying to get ready for a new baby, has totally exacerbated the lack of storage issue.

DH is due to receive an inheritance that we absolutely weren’t expecting - not at all really and definitely not any time soon. This raises the possibility that we could move somewhere bigger, however it would still involve taking on a bigger mortgage and tying ourselves in for possibly 25 years. For that I’d need to go back to full time work after the baby is born - which would have been the plan eventually anyway but maybe not straight away. The alternative is to stay put - the inheritance would go a fair way to paying off our existing mortgage and give us more disposable income. It would take the pressure off me having to return to work full time or maybe give the option for DH to reduce his hours if I did go full time. There’s just no bloody room to put anything!

Sorry to bore on about my situation it’s no help at all. I empathise anyway! I think in your situation I’d lean towards the bigger house but I can see why you’d hesitate too.

[Letsgetthishousesold]

The current situation is making it even more of a difficult situation for me. People saying there’s going to be a depression etc it’s just not hit yet because of furlough. Do I want to double my mortgage payment? I just don’t know.

[Stefoscope]

We're hopefully going to be going for a bigger house soon. We're definitely overdue a good declutter and I'm sure in the short term that will make a big difference. However, DP and I both like to relax and spend our free time doing our hobbies from home. In the long term having a room each where we can store our stuff and do our own thing separately would be the dream. We're also not 'show home standard' people who need everything to be cleaned daily. We'd be happy having some hobby rooms that are a bit less visitor ready, so long as we keep on top of the main living areas.

In your situation, I'd have a look at how much extra you'd need to borrow to buy the type of house you have in mind. Keep an eye on Rightmove, you never know, may just spot a bargain that you feel would be perfect for your family and affordable. In the meantime, decluttering is a win-win. If you stay put you'll have more space, if you decide to move it will make getting the house ready to go on the market much easier (and you'll have less stuff to move).

[TheOneWithAnotherNewName]

We went for the smaller house. We came to view the 4 bed but didn't like the downstairs layout so bought the 3 bed that we fell in love with. The only downside is that we don't have a spare bedroom to use as an office at the moment but we've just converted the garage for an additional living area so could use that for WFH if needed.

Our friends all have the 4 bed with a spare room but we'll be mortgage free at 35 and I'm the only one that works PT since having kids. We're happier with the flexibility we gained by not stretching ourselves with the mortgage.

[Werk]

Following this.
We have stayed small (so far!)- DC are 3&5 and we have a 1,100 sq ft 3 bed terrace with a tiny garden in a very naice area of London. To be able to upsize to a 4 bed with decent garden we would have to spend an additional £750k +.
We have no mortgage at present but this means we have no worries about affording private school fees, holidays and life throwing a curve ball. We also save almost £60k a year towards retirement.
We can afford the bigger house but it would mean not saving as much for early retirement and having more stress in case DH lost his job (we could pay the bills on this house with my salary but not a mortgage on top).
I really, really do not want to leave my area of London. I have friends and family here, work is close enough and I love my DC's school.

I think we are going to have to come to decision soon though as DH working from home is putting a lot of pressure on the space issue!

[user1728393]

We had the same as you and moved. Don't regret it at all. Would never have done it if it meant hardly any disposable income though so it depends on how much your lifestyle will suffer and your priorities. We can still afford holidays and days/meals out etc which is important to us.

What I will say is our new house has come into its own over lockdown. We would have struggled far more in our old house which sounds similar to yours plus our downstairs was all open plan so never had our own space.

That was ok when our kids were tiny but now they're 4 and 7 it's nice that we can all have a bit of space especially as they get older, have friends round, want sleepovers, need room to do homework, etc etc.

[Nosuchluck]

We went for a bigger house (5 bedrooms, 2 ensuites, three reception rooms) in a catchment area for good primary and secondary schools. We had one year without much disposable income but then received pay rises and were able to go a few holidays a year, eat out etc. I don't know anyone that's regretted moving to a bigger house.

[anon444877]

But it’s possible over the next few years some of us will regret having made the jump - the economy would worry me if making the move now, but then I was worried when I moved when the brexit referendum was happening!

[JaniceWebster]

Bigger house before you have to apply for primary school so settled by then without a doubt.

How small is the "box room"? If you can fit a single bed a desk and small wardrobe or storage, it's not so bad, otherwise where will all the kids stuff go?

It has proven totally worth going for the biggest over the year until the house I am in now for us. I haven't sacrificed holidays as I saved on other things, but we are still home most of the year.

[notheragain4]

@Nosuchluck I know what you mean. We bought a small house to be "sensible" and have more disposable income, within 2 years our income had increased by over a third and our childcare dropped from a nearly 4 figure sum to £150. Now we have outgrown the house, not really made any money from it and need to move our children middle of primary school. Hind sight is a wonderful thing but I regret not taking a bigger risk! (That said we couldn't have afforded anything close to what we are buying now 3 years ago).

[halcyondays]

If you can afford to save hundreds a month you’d be better overpaying the mortgage than putting the money into savings. You might be able to find somewhere for about the same price or not much more that had slightly bigger bedrooms and maybe a downstairs loo.

[PineappleUpsideDownCake]

Nosuch and others still having holidays and meals out etc - aren't yuou really examples of big house and disposable income? Similarly those in a "small house" but it has a converted garage/spare room/downstiars loo - this is what Op/myself are aspiring to!! Cutting back for a year is very different to a future with not having holidays/etc.

We're in a similarish position to OP - small 3bed with no downstairs loo and our spare disposable income is a couple of hundred a month. In order to move we'd lose holidays/kids activities etc so would be a tricky move.

Many people on this thread have disposable income (ie holidays/ meals out) AND an okay sized house (downstairs loo/ possible spare room/ converted second living room.) I know very few people with "4 bed plus spare room"

[notheragain4]

Pineapple I know what you mean, that's why I ( and a few others) have posted there's a third option that seems really taboo on Mumsnet, and that's to compromise location (well it might not even be a compromise depending on needs but looking at cheaper areas). That's what we did in the end when we realised we couldn't give up space or holidays.

[JaniceWebster]

Cutting back for a year is very different to a future with not having holidays/etc.

There's also a lifestyle choice. I don't consider not having my nails done , not having sky+ and never ordering take-away "cutting back". I prioritise my holidays (and obviously my ridiculously big mortgage, but that South East for you).

If you can barely survive on dry pasta for the next 5 years, yes, you are stretching yourself. If you decide that you cannot afford everything but chose house and holidays, it works.

By sticking mainly to school activities, and scouts, sports from local clubs for example, my kids do an awful lot for next to nothing. If they had joined private sport clubs that would be too much for us.

I wouldn't push anyone to be stupid with money, especially at the moment, but just saying it's possible to juggle things a bit - as long as you have a certain pot to play with in the first place obviously.