Dh overdosed my SN DC at hospital now

[Worried20]

My dh has given my non verbal dc 4 times the dose of his medicine. He fell asleep and it was only when I jokingly said you haven't given him his sleep meds have you? That he realised he had given him 30mg instead of 7.5mg of a med he takes to control his adhd.

He has been monitored but won't tolerate heart monitors even while asleep.

I am at home with other dc as I don't drive and hospital 12 miles away and didn't want to put other dc at risk.

I'm so angry, worried and upset. Not only for the careless and insane overdose but for putting him at risk of catching Covid -19.

He has moved to a ward to keep monitoring. Dh has been obsessively working from home, was the one job of giving a drink with meds in too much to ask while I fixed my other dc breakfast.

What the hell can I do assuming this is ok for my dc. I have never ever made such an error. I'm not perfect but he has really fucked up.

[sykadelic]

It is a very stupid mistake. I honestly know I wouldn't make that mistake.

No, you don't. That's what makes it a mistake. You get into a routine, or they change the look of something so it looks like something else.

You can't know you will or won't do something until the possibility is entirely removed.

Don't be too hard on him. This is something that he didn't do intentionally (by your own admission), and yes he did it without thinking and this is definitely something he will never do again.

[lborgia]

@LittleDragonGirl - mm, well the one time I was responsible for giving my neighbour's child medicine I checked, checked again, and then checked with her that it was the amount she was used to taking (she was older and verbal).

Surely if you are not used to giving medicine it makes you more cautious?

[mathanxiety]

A clonidine OD can require airway support. This is not a minor thing.

[LittleDragonGirl]

Its also important to consider if OP's DH does any of the leg work usually at home? Does he usually get up with the children and does he usually give medication?

I think its easy to forget as the people who do most the leg work with children, who give their medication, who have a set morning routine, that to someone who is not normally part of the process, things that we may consider as standard and have expectations of, may not be that obvious to someone who isn't usually within that process.

[FudgeBrownie2019]

Clonidine overdose could be catastrophic if unnoticed. Thankfully OP's son is fine, but I wouldn't brush this off and forget about it if DH had done this - he'd have the bollocking of a lifetime for something so serious. I'd expect no less than that from him if I did something similar.

[justilou1]

He’s lucky that Clonidine overdose isn’t THAT serious, isn’t he? FFS!!! His lack of giving a shit could have had very dire consequences if it were a different kind of medication. It’s the attitude of inattention because it’s a job that is considered beneath him.... it’s not important enough to grab his attention for the minute or two to check his medication -or even the inability of this guy to notice that his kid might need to eat or drink something, even though he’s getting himself a coffee??? (I see this a lot on mumsnet too!) I just don’t get the women excusing they “poor little men” who can’t adult up!

[Oblomov20]

It is my understanding that some overdoses are much more serious than others. Depending on what medication it is. And the size of the child.

clonidine overdose I read wasn't as serious as others.

[justilou1]

Yes, @Oblomov20... children are susceptible to overdose just like adults are. Four times the prescribed amount is a significant overdose, depending on the drug. If it is a stimulant and the child is very little, it can cause arrhythmia and possibly cardiac arrest.... Depending on the drug and the amount given used, of course - deaths can happen. There are horrible deaths due to irreversible liver toxicity, ie paracetamol, or the child can become hypoxic and possibly go into cardiac arrest because their breathing has been suppressed. Sometimes, they don’t die and they have irreversible brain damage. Either way, this family is lucky that nothing worse happened. Please don’t attempt to minimize my reaction. I grew up with addicts and I work in the healthcare industry.

[mathanxiety]

He could have ended up needing airway support.

This is not a benign mistake to shrug off.

[Oblomov20]

Killed?

[justilou1]

This “genuine mistake” could have killed OP’s kid while he had a coffee and dicked around on his computer, absolutely bloody oblivious

[Oblomov20]

Many of these posts seem like total total overreactions: "I’d be livid. id kill him."

For goodness sake, it was a genuine mistake by Dh. And OP's ds was dozy, but has since woken up, which is good.

This is unfortunate. But not a life or death situation.

Please be kind to your Dh.

[mathanxiety]

It is a very stupid mistake. I honestly know I wouldn't make that mistake.

I also know I wouldn't get up and make myself a coffee and leave my son without a drink for an hour.

I would not excuse this.

I agree with Justilou and others - this was fecklessness, selfishness, and "negligence and lack of care".

Don't let him get away with this, @Worried20. Your anger, frustration and impatience are not misplaced. You absolutely should be able to trust your child's father to focus on what he should be doing in the home with his child.

Tell him what you expect for the future in no uncertain terms.

Don't let him turn this into a pity party for him ('I'm so upset about covid and the economy and so worried about all of you, woe is me, boo hoo').

You all dodged a bullet. He needs to apologise sincerely and without reservation.

[justilou1]

I would be furious, tbh. I know this is a stressful time, but this is his kid, he made himself a coffee and gave the kid an iPad so that the kid would bugger off and leave him alone. It was deliberate negligence that led to this overdose. He didn’t give the child anything to drink. He didn’t check the medication. He didn’t even think to feed the child. He was not thinking of the child’s needs at all. He was only thinking of himself. I am quite sure he is aware of this, and I am quite certain that OP is too. I think he should not be let off easily or with kindness. This was not simple human error at all. It was negligence and lack of care.

[lborgia]

Omg, how is everyone being so pro-DH?

This is absolutely about not giving it the due care and attention it needs. It’s not about sinister reasons, it’s about being careless with his child. I’ve had this a couple of times, and yes the reasons were “it was early..I’m not used to doing it” but by far the worst is “I assumed...”.

If he has ever accidentally put salt in his own coffee, absent mindedly put diesel in a petrol car, then maybe there’s a precedent, but I think this is because it doesn’t require the same level of attention as his very busy work.

[Sirzy]

I’m glad he is coming home.

I have set alarms on my phone to remind me when to do all of Ds feeds and different meds at the moment because with normal routines out the window and everyone that bit more stressed it does make things even harder.

[managedmis]

Good news, op

[Durgasarrow]

No, it's not nasty. The father did not do this extremely important job with the care it deserved. He was not paying enough attention to do it properly. He may not have harmed the child deliberately, but he did harm the child.

[Soontobe60]

@Durgasarrow

It was liquid, and the dose he gave was the dose the child normally has in the evening. So actually, it's a very easy mistake to make. Your suggestion that the father had purposely overdosed his own son was just plain nasty.

[Durgasarrow]

It's neither offensive or not offensive to imply that the father did something wrong deliberately to the child. We don't know this person. We also don't know all the facts. Is this medicine in pill form or liquid form? It's one thing to get confused about whether to put 30 mg. liquid or 7.5 mg liquid into a drink. But if it's 1 30 mg. pill v. four 7.5 mg pills, it looks like less of a mistake and more like something suspicious. Because there's no reason why a doctor would dose someone with four pills that add up to 30 mg when she could just prescribe 1 30 mg pill.

[anonymousLangFan]

Mumsnet is so weird sometimes. The biggest worry here seems to be how the poor poor husband who has time for work and coffee is feeling. Some even insinuating it's not fair to expect him to perform a parenting task if the poor man also has to work.

[Thingscanonlygetwetter]

I hope your son is ok.
My ds was given a dose of morphine by his dad , thought it was calpol. The phone call to me and then me drive home, while he phoned for help was awful. I expected an ambulance to be there picking him!
We were told everything would be ok and do nothing. If he’d been taken in after an accident with broken leg or something he’s have been given the same. They seemed very understanding/ not worried.
No ss referel etc and his dad couldn’t feel any worse himself

[Inthemuckheap]

@1forsorrow you are so right. I have staff on their knees at the moment covering for others who have gone off for various reasons mostly C-19 related. If they made a meds mistake I would understand - I wouldn't be happy and would go through the same procedures as at any time - but I would understand.
Really hope you DC makes a full recovery OP and do be kind to your OH - he will likely be in bits about this.

[Worried20]

He's allowed to come home soon, after being observed for 6 hours since he moved to a ward. The overdosed med was Clonidine.

Thank you to everyone who has commented apart from the couple of idiots. It really helped me, I've told two close friends in rl but I feel kind of ashamed of what he's done.

I just can't wait to have my son home and spoil him as much as I can. He will have been so confused.

[thatwouldbeanecumenicalmatter]

Ignore justanarse, sorry I mean justaboy, he likes to pop up on threads saying any old shite to derail and make it all about him.

Hope your DS is ok Worried20