5 days off in first month of Reception???

[EverTheConundrum]

Hi have NC for this. I have a real conundrum which I may regret asking on this particular forum but here goes...

I'm a lone parent to a 4yr old. Have fairly limited income and like most other parents, I'm having to buy uniform this payday (I do get financial help from her father but not loads).

Last month we were scammed by a Caravan owner. It's a long story but basically we ended up with just 2 days in a Haven caravan. I eventually got my money back from the private caravan owner this week (most of it anyway) and so I'm now looking hopelessly to find a last min break for us to make up for the missing week. DD was heartbroken poor kid

Anyway, having scoured Sun Holidays and Breakfree via the Daily Mail (Sorry!) I've found two date options which seem to apply to all parks with availability. Either 2nd Sep for 4 nights or 23rd Sep for 4 nights. DD starts Reception on Friday 6th Sep, however they said I can push it back to 9th if I like; which I was considering doing anyway for reasons I won't go into. So obviously 2nd Sep is obvious choice, right? Only prob, is that I get paid on 20th of each month & Aug 20th is uniform buying time! I'll still have some spare, however this trip would be half way through my pay period! So would likely result in very very limited cash whilst we're there.
However, if we go on 23rd Sep, 3 days after September's pay day, all would be great... BUT it'd mean DD missing 5 whole days of school and despite the possible fine, I'd hate for her to miss out & not be up to date with all that's going on.

What do I do?

Yes, I realise it's a first world problem and no, it really isn't the worst problem I'm dealing with right now - believe me!!

Please be nice

Thanks!

[Blastnamechangeagain]

Don’t go. She doesn’t need the holiday that is your guilt issue. You can’t afford it and it’s disruptive to her starting school.
Lots of children miss out on holidays and are fine, mine haven’t had one this year either.
Put the money aside and save up for an even better holiday either later in the year or next year. Or take her on a special day out at a weekend.

[dottiedodah]

Can you go early ,and maybe borrow some cash from Mum if she can afford it do you think?.That way you would be able to go away at the "right "time and have a little spending money(No need to go mad LO will enjoy trips to beach playing at the Caravan pk etc)

[namechange34]

OP have you checked with the school when the next second hand uniform sale is, or if you can buy second hand items out of the lost and found? DDs old school used to sell items for 50p each and the money went to the PTA.

[megletthesecond]

I wouldn't.
Do you have the refund in cash? Can you do 2 or 3 nice weekend days out instead?

[Sux2buthen]

I've booked a week with our 4 year old in early October. Kids this age don't really notice how many days someone is there or isn't. My child could just as easily be off with a bug in that time and it's the last term time trip we will really ever be able to take.
I was worried when I first booked it but he will be in the system long enough, I'm going to take this last grab of being able to go somewhere with my children and not be fined for the privilege and grab it while I can.

[Sirzy]

I wouldn’t go.

Surely it’s better to save the money and add bits to it where possible to make for a better holiday next year?

[NerrSnerr]

I wouldn't go. It's such an important time for settling in and friendships.

[SusieSusieSoo]

I wouldn't take dc out of school once they start because settling in time is so important when they first start school so I'd go before starting or not at all on those dates.

I've no particular issue with taking them out of school at that age once they are settled but it's such a huge step in my experience & I wouldn't want to upset that process

[Shmithecat2]

I wouldn't go, but not because of missing school - I'd rather not go on holiday if I could barely afford to enjoy it.

[Yerbumsootthewindae]

I was a reception teacher in a previous life - as she is 4, school is not compulsory so there will be no fine. My only concern would be that missing a week of school after settling in for a couple of weeks might unsettle her again - this would bother some children, but wouldn't bother others. If your DD is happy to go to school and you think she'll be happy to go back after your holiday, go for it. Family time is important and you've got years and years ahead of being restricted by school holidays.
(Also RE school uniform, does your LA or school help with uniform costs? Schools or local parent groups often have pre-loved uniform available so it's worth asking around).

[EverTheConundrum]

Yeah she already missed the settling in sessions due to originally being placed with a different school (another looong story!)

[seven201]

Pre-school and reception are very different. Different children, staff, routines etc. Settling in is so important. I would skip it to be honest or if you really want to go, go for the first week.

[EverTheConundrum]

I think you're all right. I need to scrap the idea completely and look later in year. Thanks everyone!

(Either that or two nights in a hotel at the beach before September?!)

[ChipsAreLife]

I missed the first week and a half of reception due to chicken pox. I felt really left out when I went in and I already knew people. I didn't know the routine etc so felt a bit behind. Of course I caught up eventually but wasn't my preferred start.

If you think your child can cope missing the start then do it.

[KitKat1985]

^ Copy and paste fail! Please ignore the middle sentence - no idea how it got there!

[EverTheConundrum]

Just looked again at the schedule. Turns out she starts on 5th for a morning only, 6th morning only then mon 9th all day.

As I've said in my replies, she's been at this school for a year now and all her friends are going into the same class. Does that make a difference?

[Shplot]

I wouldn’t go, dd is too young to remember, you’ll spend the week saying no to stuff because of money and you risk her starting school not knowing what all the other kids do (where they eat lunch, cost pegs, routine, where to sit etc)
Why not put the money away and save for a holiday in the October break?

[KitKat1985]

I wouldn't. The first few weeks at reception are about making friends, learning the routine of school, and the teacher getting to know each child. I’m genuinely surprised that most people are saying I’m in the wrong here for wanting my sister to care a bit more. 5 days is a lot to miss, and it doesn't make a very good impression for starting school.

[EverTheConundrum]

@Mayvis No it only covers the holiday booking.

Good point though about uniform

[dmango]

I hate to say this as I can tell you need a break and I really believe holidays are important. Although, as a teacher and a mum I really wouldn't miss a week so early on. It's not really about missing learning but more the social and emotional aspects; building relationships, understanding routines and expectations etc
Sorry

[EverTheConundrum]

@Seeline Staggered starts.

She's already been at the school for a year in the Pre school

[Mayvis]

Surely you use the money refunded for the new holiday. Would that not cover it?

How much uniform do you need to buy just to get through the first month? Then buy some more with Sep pay.

I'd go early Sep and rejig the finances. I wouldn't want mine to miss school.

[EverTheConundrum]

@meditrina It's not a new school she's already been at the Pre school there for a year. I take your point though.

Autumn half term is 4 times the price and needs payment in full now! Just don't have it. Single mum issue! No credit cards either.

Single parenting is full of these kinds of dilemmas! As I'm sure many of you can relate to.

I think you're right though. Can't do it can we?

[itsboiledeggsagain]

Im surprised by the first answers.
I wouldn't go.
You can't afford it and are not free.
Your dd will not be wishing she was on holiday she will be getting stuck into school.

Your guilt is not the biggest factor here.

[Seeline]

How does the school deal with Reception children starting? Do they go full-time straight away or is there daft system of some mornings/some afternoons for a while? You may find she hardly misses anything.

My only concern would be how it might impact her socially/emotionally. eg if she doesn't take to school very well to start with, it may be a big issue having to start all over again after only 2 weeks, then a week off and then back again. If she is fairly resilient and/or confident, I don't think I would be too worried in the circumstances.