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I'm having IVF, AMA

23 replies

coffeewithmilk · 03/05/2021 20:20

As the title says

Preparing myself for questions when I do eventually tell friends/family.

Ask away

OP posts:
Italiangreyhound · 03/05/2021 21:05

I want to wish you all the best. Rather than asking a question, may I offer advice?

Don't tell anyone until you are pregnant, except maybe your very best friends. Certainly limit who you tell because people will ask 'how's it going/any news/' which can get very tiresome.

Good luck.

UrsulaTee · 03/05/2021 21:06

Do you know why you are unable to conceive naturally?

DeepThinkingGirl · 03/05/2021 21:08

How long was your journey ttc before you were offered IVF?

coffeewithmilk · 03/05/2021 21:18

@Italiangreyhound thank you for the advice! I will definitely take that on board πŸ’œ

@UrsulaTee I have no Fallopian tubes because I suffered ectopic pregnancies last year

@DeepThinkingGirl we have been trying 1 year and resulted in no tubes after having surgery

OP posts:
dillydallydollydaydream7 · 03/05/2021 21:23

Not a question, but just sending love and luck ❀️ our ivf baby is now 2. Remember to be kind to yourself all the way through HmmThanks

dillydallydollydaydream7 · 03/05/2021 21:23

Ignore the rolling eyes! Don't have my glasses on!

DoYouRememberTheInnMiranda · 03/05/2021 21:24

What would you want a friend / family member to say to you to show they cared but without being nosy? I always want to ask my friend how it's going, but I also don't want to make her tell me bad news or anything.

Whatelsecouldibecalled · 03/05/2021 21:44

Is this your first round? Sorry about ectopics.

My ivf boy has just turned one. Sending lots of good luck wishes

coffeewithmilk · 03/05/2021 21:49

@dillydallydollydaydream7 thank you πŸ’œ

@DoYouRememberTheInnMiranda I would probably want them to say something along the lines of 'I've been thinking about you, and I'm here if you want to talk, or if you want to be distracted from it' so I'm then not under pressure to talk about it if I'm not up to it.

@Whatelsecouldibecalled yeah it's my first round. Had my egg retrieval 3 weeks ago and will be going for a frozen transfer in approx 2 weeks. πŸ’œ

OP posts:
wanderedlonelyasacloud · 03/05/2021 21:51

Has the treatment so far been very painful?

We're struggling with ttc but I'm too scared to google the specifics of ivf

I wish you all the luck in the world!

Newchances · 03/05/2021 21:53

Good luck. Just about to start the meedications for ivf too.

LividJabber · 03/05/2021 21:58

Ivf was the hardest thing I ever did. Not the physical side, but the rollercoaster of emotions. No questions but good wishes.

coffeewithmilk · 03/05/2021 22:01

@wanderedlonelyasacloud it hasn't been painful. I think a lot of people think of injections when they think of ivf. I actually found them the easiest part - the painful part of it is waiting to hear how many eggs fertilised, waiting for the phone calls to see how many make it to day 3 and day 5 and are viable to be transferred.
Obviously I had a few uncomfortable moments of bloating and cramps but that's to be expected.

@Newchances best of luck πŸ’œ

@LividJabber thank you πŸ’œ

OP posts:
coronafiona · 03/05/2021 22:36

How much does it cost? Are all treatments the same wherever you go?
Wishing you all the very best for a fabulous healthy happy little family Smile

coffeewithmilk · 04/05/2021 06:58

@coronafiona I don't live in the UK so unfortunately if you need IVF in Ireland, it needs to be self funded. In total so far it has cost us around €7000.
Treatments can vary depending on what the consultant feels is the best option for age/circumstance etc.
Thank you πŸ’œ

OP posts:
Springandsummer123 · 04/05/2021 07:20

Hi @coffeewithmilk - I recognised your name from the TTC after ectopic thread which we were on.
I hope it all goes well for you - everything crossed xxx

coffeewithmilk · 04/05/2021 08:28

@Springandsummer123 I thought that was you! Hope you are well πŸ’œ
Thank you, I hope it goes to plan 🀞🏻 xx

OP posts:
ivfgottwins · 04/05/2021 08:49

Wishing you lots of luck - I also lost both my tubes to ruptured ectopics and had to go through 5 rounds of IVF - I had twins in January

Q - have you set yourself a limit of either budget or time which after which you'll stop treatment?

Q - do you feel your family is supportive? Mine weren't particularly and it has irreversibly smashed our relationships

Q - how does your partner feel about it all? Do you talk about it?

Q - how do you feel about it? Excited, nervous, scared?

coffeewithmilk · 04/05/2021 14:58

@ivfgottwins congratulations on your twins πŸ’œ

We haven't really set a budget to be honest. We could afford this round for egg retrieval and a few frozen transfers (taking into account that we may need more than 1) we managed to freeze 6 day 5 embryos so we have budgeted for transferring all of them (if we need to)

My family are supportive, my husbands family don't ask too many questions as I suppose they want to give us space which for me I'm happy with!

Myself and my husband have talked about it frequently.. he is supportive but I guess I won't know if there is any strain on us until after we transfer and if we have repeated failures - I suppose then it will become difficult but we are both going into this process knowing that it may not work at all so we are trying to set expectations so we aren't upset or disappointed.

I feel anxious about what's to come. I feel it is only the beginning of a journey that could potentially go on a long time. I'm very used to being organised and having everything in my calendar and I feel like this is out of my control which I think is adding to the anxiety.
I'm hoping the FET goes ok and goes to plan and it may help with my emotions a bit.

I have a question for you if that's ok. Did you do anything different on the cycle that gave you your twins?

OP posts:
ivfgottwins · 04/05/2021 15:55


I did 5 rounds of IVF....I lost my second tube on my second FET transfer....I guess it was never really explained that IVF actually increases the risk of ectopics rather than decreasing it. But I was relieved in a way that it was gone as I was tired of feeling like it was playing Russian roulette with my life every month we tried to conceive (both mine ruptured). Anyway the first 2 egg collections my fertilisation rate wasn't great (less than 30%) and also some PGS testing showed there was chromosome issues (I have a history of miscarriages as well as ectopics)

I finally had success when I changed to natural modified IVF- fertilisation increased to 100%. I did a 3 cycle package for cycles 3-5 and got 4 top quality blastocysts frozen (2 are my twins and 2 more frozen)

I did lose 1/2 a stone before my transfer but I wasn't overweight really in the first place. I was also working from home due to covid so maybe there was a bit less stress going on? I also tried this holistic thing that my acupuncturist said to the (couldn't do acupuncture due to lockdown) which was to lie with my hands on my uterus area (to keep it warm) and imagine the embryos taking roots and growing into trees (at the time thought it was a lot of bollocks but had nothing to lose by that point 🀣 and if someone had said to stand on my head I would have done it!)
Other than that I don't think I did anything different and this was my 4th transfer x

coffeewithmilk · 04/05/2021 19:30

@ivfgottwins thank you for all of that information!
I was aware that ivf can increase risk of ectopic, but now with no tubes I'm hoping that risk is gone: the consultant said it would be about a 1% risk of another ectopic (an ectopic not in the tubes)

We had pretty good fertilisation rates so I'm hoping it's a good sign.
11 collected, 8 fertilised and 6 made it to day 5 all top grade so I'm feeling optimistic 🀞🏻

OP posts:
LaceyBetty · 04/05/2021 19:58

Lots of luck OP. My first IVF baby is about to turn 11 and my frozen embryo baby (on ice for a year) is 9. It was honestly the hardest thing I've ever gone through and you need to take care of yourself!


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LaceyBetty · 04/05/2021 19:59

Sorry! Just realised this was an AMA thread. All the best anyway!

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