I'm a dwarf AMA

[gingerpickles]

I have dwarfism, I'm just over 4ft. Feel free to ask anything :)

[esk1mo]

thank you for answering

my exDP had spinal stenosis so i understand how painful that can be. 18 is hell of alot of operations though, understandable that you dont want to deal with any more at the moment!

[gingerpickles]

Some days yes, other days no. It depends on how stiff I am or how my balance is. Also how deep the bath is if I'm not at home.
We have a shower so I rarely have a bath.

I can't put socks on myself or shoes.
Another which is slightly tmi but it's an everyday thing that most wouldn't think about, I can't wipe my own backside, or wash it or do anything to it in fact. So basically anything below my waist is very difficult to do myself. I'm not sure if this is the same for all as I could do it as a kid but since my spinal op and having the rods put in its restricted a lot of my movement in my back.

[mmmgoats]

great thread op thanks for sharing I have learned a lot.Thats a LOT of ops i don’t blame you for not wanting the other three any time soon.

do you get grief from people about having a tall husband?

Have you found it difficult to get or sustain work due to the health complications you’ve had?

Are there certain exercises you can do or is mobility and flexibility a real issue now after your spinal problems?

Thanks so much for the thread x

[gingerpickles]

We've had a few odd comments re our marriage. For example a young blonde at his work took a bit of a fancy of him and he didn't pay any interest to her so she said loudly 'he'd like me if I was a midget'.
It seems mainly from women who i can only assume are a bit put out that someone like me has a husband and they don't. At times it feels as though he is a challenge for them, and even his own family have made it clear he could have done better and resent that he's with me.

I've never found it difficult to get work, I worked from aged 16 until I was made redundant and then had my son, we are lucky enough that I didn't need to work whilst he was young. I think what will be difficult now is the time I've had out of my career rather than my condition. I'm also lucky that the work I do is very understanding about disability.

My exercise now is mainly swimming, thats about all I can do that gives me the least pain. I've put on a stone since I had DS and am desperately trying to lose that.
I used to cycle at least 6 miles a day but now with all the arthritis there's no way I can do that.

[NCPuffin]

Do you experience a lot of discrimination because of your height? Would you consider yourself disabled? Is your car adapted? Other than toileting, what other daily activities are difficult? Were you worried about your baby having dwarfism when you were pregnant? Did you feel guilty (I don't mean you should have!!!) Did you worry about other potential complications when you were pregnant (not sure if there are additional risks). I am currently pregnant and very very anxious

Is it true that people with dwarfism have average sized torsos but shorter limbs, or is your torso shorter too?

[gingerpickles]

The comments from people, laughs, nudges and phototagraphs happen every time I go out, especially alone so yes I think I experience a lot of discrimination. Summer holidays are worse because there's more people around.

I hate to consider myself as disabled but I have to accept that I am, I can't walk very far without extreme pain, I take painkillers every day.
I can cook but it is dependent on what it is, for example frying is a no because when it spits it burns my face as my arms are short I don't have a good reach, I've visited a and e twice with burns to my eyes from cooking. Heavy pans of boiling water are a danger to lift. If you think what would you let the average 6 or 7 year old do in a kitchen you'd get an idea of how dangerous it can be for us to cook.
My balance is completely shot too, no idea why but I fall over a lot, I've lost teeth in falls, I've also fallen off of a train and a bus so public transport is really a hazard.

My car isn't adapted, I've only ever found one car that I actually needed adapted and have driven large 4x4s without a problem.

Yes my torso is normal size, so tops fit it's just the sleeves that don't. And another that people ask us about sex, so there's no problems there because my torso is normal.

I really didn't want a baby with dwarfism, they need a lot more help and I wouldn't be able to cope with the both of us needing so much help, there would be a huge feeling of guilt from me too, and of course there are times when you wish you could blame someone, I don't have anyone to blame it just happened but my child would always be able to blame me.
I still feel guilty for my son now despite him being ordinary, I worry he will be bullied and people will get to him about me, an example of this is we've frequently used the word midget around him so he doesn't get upset if someone says to him about me being a midget, or calling me a midget.
So yes, there's lots of worries really, all whilst pregnant, and ever since. The biggest worry everyone had was that I'd drop him, I can say proudly that I never did, and until recently I never had any help either.

[mmmgoats]

thank you for answering my question OP, sorry to hear about the crap and pain you've had to deal with x

[BigfluffybearBum]

Did your parents know about your dwarfism from antenatal checks?

[gingerpickles]

My parents and the doctor's didn't have any idea until I was a few months old, I just looked like a small baby.
No one else in my family has dwarfism so it was very unexpected.

[Fredathetortoise]

How do you feel about other people with dwarfism who work in showbusiness/entertainment?

For context, I work in theatre, and have worked on several productions of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs where actors with dwarfism / short actors have played the Dwarfs. It's always made me faintly uncomfortable, but I'm not sure why - I know it's better that characters who are named as Dwarfs should be played by actors with dwarfism (some production companies use average height actors or children), but I think it's the idea of doing this show at all that is faintly distasteful. (Don't get me started on the cultural apropriation in Aladdin )

[MyBearIsCalledTeddy]

Does anybody else in your family have dwarfism? If not do you know anybody else with it? Which type of dwarfism do you have?

[VladmirsPoutine]

Given that no-one else in the family had dwarfism would you say it also took a lot for your family to learn to accept and love you or was it never an issue?

Wrt your husband; did he ever have doubts about marrying and conceiving with you because of your dwarfism?