How do I leave a job I’ve only been in for 5 months?!

[KirstyP0594]

So I have been in my new job for 5 months now, but I have realised I’ve made a terrible mistake and the job is causing me serious stress and anxiety and I have not been myself for months now and I just can’t take it anymore, so I am desperately trying to find a new job. I am just slightly worried on how to tell my new boss I am leaving this soon after starting and need a little advice! Please be kind, I have had a really rough few months 😢

[StephenBelafonte]

Are you on probation? If so when does it end?

[Mangofandangoo]

Of it's not right, it's not right. You shouldn't feel you have to continue in a role that's giving you stress and anxiety. Life is too short! Just be open and honest about it would be my advice.

Good luck and I hope you find something better suited for you

[Toilenstripes]

I think you just handle it as professionally as possible. It’s just one of those things, both sides had the best intentions but it’s not working out for you. The stress of the pandemic has also heightened our stress levels, in many cases. Don’t beat yourself up over it. It’s just business and they would do the same in a heartbeat.

[KirstyP0594]

@StephenBelafonte I was never on a probationary period, no. They liked the fact that I was at my previous job for 8 years so they would never expect me to leave so soon.

@Mangofandangoo yes you’re right I think I am just a bit nervous of their reaction I suppose. But I know I would be so much happier away from there and I don’t want to waste any more time in a job that’s affecting me mentally.

@Toilenstripes yes I never thought of it like that, I think they might just be disappointed but at the end of the day I didn’t know the affect the job would have on me when I took it, so I suppose they have to understand that.

[CoronaIsWatching]

Type up your notice, hand it in, tell them the jobs not a right for you after all. If it was the other way around the employer wouldn't be worrying about the best to sack you!

[user147425843578]

Find a new job then resign. Don't tell them in advance unless you want to be dismissed.

You don't owe them anything. They'd get rid of you if it wasn't working out from their perspective.

Worry to excess about what you imagine other people are thinking and feeling isn't going to help you stress levels. It's also likely to be wildly inaccurate; you're not actually capable of mind-reading.

[housemdwaswrong]

I did this. I felt such incredible relief once is handed my notice in, it was incredible. I was me again!

When I handed the letter in, I told my manager that I would happily to extend my notice for 2 weeks in order to cover staff holidays as it was a small company and was one the summer holidays. They were fine. Surprised, but took it professionally and asked me to work the extra few weeks and were v grateful.

It wasn't as bad as I thought and I honestly felt more relief than anything. It won't be the first or last time, and you've given it a good go. I was really replaced, and easily forgotten... thankfully. :)

Good luck

[housemdwaswrong]

*easily replaced

[BashfulClam]

I did the same in match. I’d been there 6 months and it was making me miserable. I’d turn up each day hoping to find it had burned down. I got something else quickly and gave 4 weeks notice. I started my new job 2 weeks before lockdown .

[KirstyP0594]

@CoronaIsWatching yes that’s very true!

@user147425843578 yes definitely it’s just what they will think that I’ve been worrying about and I almost wish I didn’t have to work a notice period as I just can’t wait to leave and feel happy again!

@housemdwaswrong I so can’t wait to feel like that! Thanks so much for the advice I think it will probably be fine in the end it’s just knowing what to say to them initially!🙈

[KirstyP0594]

@BashfulClam wow well done you for doing that! That is exactly how I feel! How did you go about telling them you were leaving?

[BashfulClam]

I typed a resignation letter giving 4 weeks notice and thanking them for the opportunity then I chickened out for a day before sending it to my boss by e-Mail.

[BashfulClam]

Dear [insert manager’s name],

Please accept this letter as notice of my resignation from the position of [insert job title] at [insert company].

As per the terms of my employment contract, I will continue to work for the company for the next [insert notice period length], completing my employment on [insert last day you intend to work].

Yours sincerely

[INSERT NAME]

[AmICrazyorWhat2]

All the PP’s are right, it’s a job and you simply need to be professional about it. They’ll find some one to replace you and you’ll move onto something/somewhere you enjoy more.

It know it’s hard, but try to detach from your worries and focus on finding a new job.💐

[Ariela]

Speaking as employer point of view, leaving now at 5 months isn't that bad for the company as we might put a shout out to the also rans that didn't get the job when you applied, and say we have another vacancy if they are interested in re-applying. That's how we recruited our amazing lady in accounts, she's actually far more efficient than her predecessor and very cheerful ALL the time - but very nervous at interview, didn't come over nearly so well first time around!

So don't worry about dumping the company in it - you might not be.

[eaglejulesk]

Most employers will get rid of staff without a second thought - you are allowed to do the same. Honestly, if it's not working for you then just be honest and tell them that. Their world won't end because you leave.

[thalassoma]

Totally agree at you looking for a new job, if you are still unhappy after 5 months.

In the meantime, is there any scope to minimise the parts of the job that are causing you stress - ask your boss if you can do more of X rather than Y.

Also, all jobs have an element of stress, so look into coping techniques, just in case the job hunt takes longer than you thought.
e.g.

• not thinking/talking about work AT ALL when you're not there
• doing just the minimum required hours, turn off work notifications outside of those hours.
• deep breathing techniques (or whatever google what could work for you) when you feel the panic rising
• be kind to yourself and try and sleep as much as you can/eat good food/gentle exercise

[Babyroobs]

This happened to me last year op. I made a mistake and knew I wanted to leave after a few months. My mistake was probably being too honest that I was looking for other jobs as I didn't want to mess them about, but things just went downhill from there and my mental health really suffered. As others have said I would find another job first.

[Horehound]

What I have found is it is very hard to find a new job to fit into after being with one company for so long.
I did a 7 year stint at one company and then took voluntary redundancy and then have regretted it ever since because I have lasted a year or two in each job since. I don't get good feelings, I don't like the jobs, I don't fit it....

I look back with rose tinted glasses I think. Bit I do think you need to try for at least a year before you really know.

Do you have another job lined up? If it, there's no way I'd give one up especially in this climate..

[KirstyP0594]

Thank you for all of the advice everyone. It’s nice
to know I’m not the only one who’s been in this situation.

@Horehound yes you are right, I thought that was the issue I was having at first but instead of getting better it seems to have got worse and worse. I am currently looking for jobs so I won’t leave until I have another one lined up, even though there aren’t many jobs around at the moment, but there are definitely still some so that gives me some hope!

[Hoppinggreen]

I’ve just done it, they were surprised but fine about it
Started my new job this week. Seriously, don’t worry about it

[KirstyP0594]

@Hoppinggreen I wish that was me, I am really struggling to find a new job at the moment, and with this second lockdown it’s going to be even worse, plus I am a key worker so have to continue going to this job as I’m unable to work from home 😞

[Hoppinggreen]

I’m sorry kirsty I hope you find another job soon

[KirstyP0594]

Thank you @Hoppinggreen

[KirstyP0594]

Update - I had a telephone interview on Friday and they were really impressed and have invited me for an online interview, fingers are crossed it all goes well and then I may finally be able to get this over with!!