STBXH and I are currently splitting up after our teens found messages between him and another woman which made it clear they were involved in a long-standing sexual relationship.
He and I work in the same profession (as does she) and I'm now being drawn into a piece of work that she will also be working on an aspect of. This is likely to mean we will be in the same room in a professional capacity over the next few months.
Most of my colleagues now know that we are splitting up and a few colleagues who are also friends know that it was as a result of him having an affair but not with whom. I really don't want it to be widely known for the sake of our teens and also I have to work in this environment for another 15 years or so. I have also heard since from some well-meaning colleagues that there were rumours about him and her and about him with someone else before.
I am finding it difficult to make any decisions at the moment even though the shock has worn off. But I have no idea how to manage this new spanner in the works.
I could choose to not participate in this project but the colleague who is leading it is lovely, knows nothing about any of this and would really appreciate my involvement. It's also something I am known to be interested in. Her professional expertise is only needed for one element of it - could I prevent them from using her at all and if they do, how do I manage meeting her in this capacity.
Emotionally, I am so over him, she is welcome to him, although I don't think they are still involved now he is available. For info she is also married with teens. But I am angry and if truth be told a little humiliated that others knew before me. It is also unlikely that the others in the room on this occasion will know any of this....
Any advice or insights welcome.....
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Meeting OW in a professional context?
19 replies
whatnowitsoverseekingadvice · 11/08/2020 16:35
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