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Colleague making inappropriate and annoying comments

8 replies

Livedandlearned · 11/07/2020 18:38

This is a bit of a WWYD but also looking for advice from anyone who has been in a similar situation or is a manager themselves.

I've been in my job for a year. We have a large team and work in shifts so we don't work with the same people all the time.

In my team are man and women, age ranging from 20-65. I am 41.

The colleague I have an issue with is a 27 year old man. When we work together he seems to follow me around a lot of the time which is annoying. He offers to help me with pretty much everything, on paper this seems a nice thing to do, but the tasks are so simple and it's quiet in work at the moment so help is not necessary.

He listens to my conversations with others and 99% of the time will say "Are you taking about me again Lived?" Or "Did you say you want to see my six pack?"

He never seems to say these things to anyone else.

After working with him the other night I have realised that I can't take anymore. Should I deal with him myself or talk to my manager?

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massivefacepalm · 11/07/2020 20:35

Manager. Log what’s happening. It’s totally inappropriate and essentially sexual harassment.

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Livedandlearned · 13/07/2020 15:04

Thank you for your reply, I'm going to make an appointment to talk to my manager properly next week.

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maxelly · 13/07/2020 15:27

I think it depends on how you feel about saying something to him yourself - if your instinct/gut is that he is an OK guy who genuinely thinks he's being funny/helpful and will respond well to being told to stop, then I'd give him one opportunity to stop before going to the manager. Next time he said anything I'd say calmly but firmly 'Dave could you lay off with the comments and jokes, I know you are trying to be funny but it's making me uncomfortable, I know you'll understand' or 'Dave I am trying to concentrate here and don't need any help. Please can you go and do your own work" and leave it at that. If he then does it again or you don't feel comfortable speaking to him yourself, go to your manager and let them deal with it...

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Livedandlearned · 13/07/2020 17:36

@maxelly I think that's a good idea and I've practiced saying sentences similar to those you've used.

Instead of filing a complaint which I feel is dramatic I'm going to ask my manager for her advice and tell her that I'm going to tell him myself that he makes me feel uncomfortable.

He acts similarly to others apart from the six pack comments and I know that other people won't hesitate to talk to our manager so I know that she will be having a meeting with him soon anyway. If I tell her now that there is an issue it can be logged.

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