Hi Everyone, I hope the below doesn’t sound too confusing. I apologise for the lenght of the OP.
I am currently in a job I quite like, with a boss that has a very high esteem of me and pushed for my promotion. Recently, she has been talking to me about growing into my role further, taking other responsibilities, and basically made me understand that she wants me to somehow became her “vice”. She praised the fact that I am always transparent and understanding, that I work hard and set the example for the other colleagues.
Unfortunately, she really hit a soft spot for me when she mentioned the word “transparent”. The truth is that my partner and I have decided to try to have a baby, and then move back to our home country after that. This is something that I haven’t mentioned to anybody, not even to my family, let alone people at work.
I don’t even know how long it will take for us to have a baby (or if, for what I know) and to move back, hopefully we’ll finalise that by late summer 2020.
Now, after what my boss told me, I feel extremely guilty for not making her aware of my plans. She trusts me and she’s probably thinking I will be in the company for many years to come. When she asked me if I was into marriage and kids, I told her that I am not interested in getting married, but that if I look at myself in 10 years’ time, I can see myself with a family. I am aware that this might be a bit misleading, as she probably thinks I don’t have plans for my near future.
However, by telling her now, I am afraid that she will then change her attitude towards me (it’s a running joke that she’s terrified of one of the ladies getting pregnant) and that I might be forced or brought to quit. This way, I might have to be pressured into finding a new job for the last months of my stay in the country, which is not ideal (especially if I’ll fall pregnant). As you can see, I always look at the worst case scenario :)
On the other hand, I really like my boss, I owe a lot to her for my professional growth, and I would like to be open to her as much as possible and minimise the impact of me leaving the company (not that I am irreplaceable anyway).
What would you do? Would you be transparent and tell her everything now, or maybe wait untill my timeline will be clearer?
Thanks a lot
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Life plans and transparency at work
14 replies
SavannahKT · 13/10/2019 08:21
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