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Feminism: Sex and gender discussions

Safeguarding our children

6 replies

InvisibleGirls98 · 22/05/2021 18:48

Name changing for obvious reasons.

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InvisibleGirls98 · 22/05/2021 19:00

I'm very upset. When I became aware of the current situation it was all very abstract but it still worried me. Now it's personal.
I have a friend who is super invested in gender. Without being outing she pushed her daughters to do stereotypical girl activities which took up a lot of their time in their childhood. I didn't approve because I believe it set them up for placing all their self worth in their looks, but never said anything, because live and let live and all that.
Even though one developed an eating disorder and was still pushing this 'beauty' lifestyle. I'm pretty sure said daughter was hospitalised because mum puts this sort of thing on social media for all and sundry to see.
Then I saw both mum and older daughter had been taking part in the trans scene.
Now younger daughter has cut off her hair and is getting the new identity treatment. She's also got autism. I want to do something to stop her going down the medical path. But what can I do? I'll just be accused of being a hater. Her social media is full of you go, be your true self ick ick. I knew this would happen because the daughter has been obsessed with clocks and mechanism since she was a toddler and the princess beautiful narrative always jarred.
How can you get people to put the breaks on without seeming judgemental.
And sorry, but I do massively judge her. We raised our children gender neutral to combat sexism, not enhance it. How difficult is it to see?!
I also am in a role where safeguarding is big. But of course there's no advice other than don't use stereotypes yourself. But if the child is already seeped in them, what can you do?
It's a car crash heading towards a double mastectomy and I am powerless to stop it.

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OneEpisode · 22/05/2021 19:07

Keira Bell had taken great personal risks to try and protect ordinary children. In the UK, using the NHS, this should protect many ordinary children. There are still unscrupulous for profit “doctors” though.

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InvisibleGirls98 · 22/05/2021 19:14

Thing is though, Mum must be aware of Keira Bell, and still persists, so I don't think it will dampen her enthusiasm. It's like she's built and squashed this circle peg child into a square peg so long and aggressively, I can see her now doing it with the new identity.
How can this child back out later when scores of adults on social media are cheerleading her.
I knew she was autistic before mum did. This child is a classic vulnerable case. Dad's not really seeing her much and she's swallowed up by this 'beauty' world and various drag queen branches.
She's got no one normal left, the family are mostly estranged. How can I protect this child? Would social services laugh me out of the room?
She's also got quite a bit of money so the NHS is not guaranteed to be the route taken. Especially if mum's being guided...

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OhHolyJesus · 22/05/2021 19:32

This is awful OP, it's already awful but when you see it in 'real life' it's worse, because is it made all the more real.

Is there any way you could speak to the Dad?

The mother is clearly driving this and has done so for years. I judge her too and make no apology for it.

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PlanDeRaccordement · 22/05/2021 19:37

It’s desperately sad but there isn’t much you can do unless you have an ”auntie” type relationship with her, in which case all you can do is offer to be there for any advice or chats.

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InvisibleGirls98 · 22/05/2021 19:44

Mum is estranged from dad, their divorce was partly fueled by the 'beauty' obsession so contact has broken down and that pattern continued with everyone including me. It's horrible, she posts everything on social media so I have the choice of watching this car crash unfold or cutting ties completely.

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