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I would always be female no matter how hard I tried

(17 Posts)
BovaryX Sun 11-Oct-20 07:26:07

There is an article in The Telegraph in which Keira describes that transition and the affirmation path didn't solve her problems, but created new ones. She describes how her self assessment was never questioned, how none of the causes of her feelings of alienation were explored and no alternative treatment, such as counselling, was ever offered. Along with all the other serious medical problems, this is a pathway where failure seems guaranteed because success is impossible. No matter how hard she tried. Keira's courage in speaking with such eloquence about her experience is humbling.

“^I definitely felt affirmed at the Tavistock,” she says. “When I spoke to these clinicians there was no exploration of why I felt like that, really. It was just accepted, and they were trying to deal with it [by putting] me on to the treatment path.” At that stage her family life was in crisis. Her father, who had reluctantly taken her to the early appointments, refused any more involvement and kicked her out of the house. Suddenly she was living alone in a youth hostel in Cambridgeshire, attending a new school but with no friends. “It is a very awkward time when you are going through those changes,” she says.But her treatments continued. The following year, aged 17, she started receiving testosterone injections and was referred by the Tavistock to an adult gender clinic in west London. At first, she took pleasure in the unfamiliar changes in her body – her lower voice gave her more confidence and she felt renewed energy. But she feels she was not adequately prepared for the more severe side-effects, in particular her deteriorating sexual health. “There is definitely a massive downside and those downsides aren’t spoken about,” she says^

OP’s posts: |
BovaryX Sun 11-Oct-20 07:27:00

www.telegraph.co.uk/family/life/knew-wasnt-like-biological-men-would-always-female-no-matter/

OP’s posts: |
Melroses Sun 11-Oct-20 07:37:45

Thank you

fairydustandpixies Sun 11-Oct-20 07:42:40

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

ErrolTheDragon Sun 11-Oct-20 08:01:34

fairydustandpixies

🙄 some people are just never happy...


What was that supposed to mean? confused

Cocothefirst Sun 11-Oct-20 08:06:20

flowers to Keira.

BovaryX Sun 11-Oct-20 08:11:01

fairydustandpixies

🙄 some people are just never happy...

What a bloody stupid comment.

OP’s posts: |
Melroses Sun 11-Oct-20 08:14:40

It is probably a bit of self-reflection

PurpleHoodie Sun 11-Oct-20 08:42:33

Heh heh

PurpleHoodie Sun 11-Oct-20 08:43:13

And flowers for Keira.

LadySeaThing Sun 11-Oct-20 12:22:00

I think "some people are just never happy" is an interesting comment to think about. I have a relative who is never happy. They have sought happiness by seeking new identities, over and over again, and having these confirmed in various ways. The most recent is "coming out as non-binary". You can watch each time as they get a surge of hope and validation from their identity revelation, then sink back into unhappiness and a difficult life. To me it has always been clear that the root of their unhappiness is a horrible abusive unloved childhood, and that no identity declaration will solve that. Perhaps some long-term therapy and meds would help, but they won't try that - why would they when they can constantly be affirmed in how wonderful they are each time they "come out" with a new identity, diagnosis or self-diagnosed MH issue.

This has been going on for decades for my relative but I think for teenagers it's quite normal to experiment with identities. In fact you could say it's part of the process of finding out who you are to go through and "try on" identities and "tribes", and emerge from them.

So of course having an identity confirmed as a teenager and being allowed to progress it into medication, constantly being told that that will make you happy (not just by clinics etc but by the internet and the trans ideology movement and lobby) is likely to be a dead end that doesn't make someone happy. And when you find you are not happy yet, pursuing it further and further could result.

It's the irreversibleness that makes it so problematic.

Kaiserin Sun 11-Oct-20 23:42:53

The over-medication of mental illnesses... and the pathologisation of natural angst...
There's something fundamentally unhealthy about how "gender identity" is currently handled.

HecatesCats Sun 11-Oct-20 23:57:08

the pathologisation of natural angst...

That's such a useful way of putting it Kaiserin. It's such an extreme overreaction.

MisfitRightIn Mon 12-Oct-20 00:44:07

Keira is so strong, putting herself through this, and taking a stand for other young people. I admire her v.much, and wish her nothing but the best.

JKRowlingIsMyQueen Mon 12-Oct-20 00:56:36

Kaiserin

The over-medication of mental illnesses... and the pathologisation of natural angst...
There's something fundamentally unhealthy about how "gender identity" is currently handled.

Very well said. And something it's not even mental illness, it's just teens figuring out who they are, but it's so easy to go down this path because everyone is admiring you and telling you how brave you are etc.

This detransitioner, Elle Palmer said something in her youtube videos that stuck with me, how if she could go back in time before her transition she would tell her young self that she does not have to figure out right now who she is and what boxes does she fit in, that she could just "be"...

HecatesCats Mon 12-Oct-20 01:03:33

If she could go back in time before her transition she would tell her young self that she does not have to figure out right now who she is and what boxes does she fit in, that she could just "be"...

That's so poignant and resonant. Who hasn't had a crises of self during their adolescence?

DaisiesandButtercups Mon 12-Oct-20 07:11:11

Keira was a suffering child and adults did not help and protect her. What a terrible system that didn’t first and foremost provide psychological support for Keira and family therapy to help the relationship with her dad. How could she be deemed competent to consent to irreversible life changing medication before these things were addressed!?

It is heartbreaking.

flowers for Keira

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